The Journey of I, Dream, the man...

Many thanks for the feedback IntenseWorld.

IntenseWorld said:

I am very sympathetic, but I do lack empathy quite a lot.  So I may be the opposite of your good self.

Well it is pretty common for those of us on the spectrum to have alexithymia, so it's not surprising that you identify with the description.

I'm glad you are learning more about yourself on the forum.

I have always also thought hyper means too much of.  I do know that ADHD is genetically related to autism, schizophrenia, severe depression and bipolar disorder.  It was a recent discovery in research.

I am very sympathetic, but I do lack empathy quite a lot.  So I may be the opposite of your good self.

IntenseWorld said:

The empathy thing, well I think I was being serious - but then who knows as I have a bit of alexithymia too!

Pleased I have made you laugh.

Hey IntenseWorld,

well I have to say I'm "content in my confusion" in this moment. As you added the "winky smile" after the "lacking empathy" comment, I was working on the assumption that it was an "inside joke" between Aspies (purely due to the fact t'was you who introduced me to the alternative theory that it's not a "lack" of empathy, but more of an inability to cope with "over-empathy" which we suffer from)! I personally have always perceived myself as deeply empathic, however I do not perceive myself as good at being "sympathetic" (or at least fail to recognise or respond correctly with the "social etiquette" which appears expected under certain given situations).

And I am glad it pleases you to have created laughter within me (be it deliberate or inadvertent) as I perceive it as vitally important! For years I had a poster on my wall which I'd created stating "Laughter is the best medicine". From a very young age, I've not cared whether people were laughing "with me" or "at me", as long as laughter is occurring I know some sort of "good" or "healing" is taking place. Many a time I've found myself laughing with a couple of other people (partly out of politeness as I don't know what we are actually laughing at, and partly because there is a contagion in laughter), only to discover something I've said has brought hysterics to others, whilst my actual intent was to make a serious statement!

I also had to look up "Alexithymia", when I read it I thought it was another "joke" you were making, but thought it wise to google it to check... upon reading the definition in Wikipedia, not only did THAT make me laugh (due to my perceived irony of the word given the current situation) but also that I too may be considered as a "sufferer" of the condition!

Ohhhh, this is why I don't believe in "coincidence" and only "synchronicity", I must remember (or try to keep reminding myself) that "life is good" and that no matter what the circumstances, the old Zen saying has value and meaning... "There is no one whom we meet upon our path which we cannot learn something from" :-)

Thank you again IntenseWorld.

P.S. I'm pondering starting a thread about the "H" in ADHD and would appreciate your thoughts, opinions or perspective (if or when you have the time or inclination) before doing so.

I have a different experience, perception and interpretation than the "conventional" medical usage of "hyperactive". Because of my current obsession with "language" and seeking the "original intent" of any given word's meaning etymologically as opposed to the "common parlance" interpretation which a word may have evolved to have, with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder I've come to the conclusion that the "hyperactivity" part does not necessarily mean the "inability to remain motionless" (which it appears to me is the intended use of the word in the medical sense). As a young teenager I recall my first "diagnosis" was "Hypochondria". Now, I've discovered "Hyper" and "Hypo" are actually opposites medically speaking (very confusing for me!), however the child psychologist I was referred to explained that I was "over aware of" or "over sensitive to" the physical sensations within my body (which everyone experienced but were not "conscious" of) which in my mind would be "Hyper".

Later I learned of what was then described as suffering from a "touch taboo", I am overly sensitive to MOST people's physical touch (with rare exceptions), and even the "invasion of my space". I am also hyper-sensitive to sound, and to a degree "light". On top of that, I was reading a thread which reminded me of the difficulty I have in sleeping due to the "activity" of my mind and being unable to "switch it off" (whereas some people seem to fall asleep as soon as their head touches the pillow).

So, point being, is it "reasonable" to "suggest" or "question" whether those of us on the "Autistic Spectrum" have a "Hyper" or "over sensitivity" which should not necessarily be attributed purely to "physical motion"? I mean "thinking" is an "activity" although it may lack the appearance of "doing", and yet the brain uses most of the calories we ingest. So maybe all of us on the Autistic Spectrum should be investigated (at the very least) as to whether AD(H)D is actually a "symptom" of AS, and it is dopamine and not serotonin which can benefit our being?

I am fairly sure I have said before, I consider myself a "humble fool" who's only "role" is that of "philosopher, truth-seeker and questioner", but through these old eye of mine, there APPEARS some "worth" and "value" in questioning exactly what the "H" is representing in the ADHD "model", as my experience is that my Psychiatrists "off license" prescription has been more beneficial than my GP's best intent prescribing all that he is able (within his knowledge and guidelines).

Anywayz, your thoughts and perspective would be of interest to me IntenseWorld :-)

The empathy thing, well I think I was being serious - but then who knows as I have a bit of alexithymia too!

Pleased I have made you laugh.

Cheers for that IntenseWorld, your acceptance and understanding is and has been most appreciated :-)  As a matter of fact, your engagement with me on this thread I have found incredibly illuminating, enlightening and comforting, as I am sure so many others in this Forum have found your input to be.

I too am unlike NT's, in that it is very VERY hard to actually offend me. There are of course exceptions when my "ego/character/persona" kicks in and overrides my "Self Awareness" (such as Orwellian "flat-earthers" insisting black is white and 2+2=5). But as a "general rule" I don't take anything "personally".

Thanks also for the line "Don't forget, we lack empathy", I literally laughed out loud when I read that!!! Out of curiosity, was that form of humour what NT's class as sarcasm? Synchronistically, my sister asked me at the weekend how people like myself and her son could "use" sarcasm, and yet not understand it when others used it... an interesting question I thought.

Anywayz, I think my "minor meltdown" is subsiding (to a degree) as I've been "given" something of interest to occupy my thoughts :-)

No worries.  I don't feel about that as an NT would, whereas they might get miffed at not being asked I probably do the same as you, when I have something on my mind I get it out and don't always remember to ask the other person about them, and when I do, it's because I have remembered I am supposed to, not because it came naturally.  Don't forget, we lack empathy.

IntenseWorld said:

When you had your diagnosis (which sounds recent) did they not give you some sort of pamphlet of support groups or anything?

IntenseWorld said:

I hope the psychologist helps.

IntenseWorld said:

I think not being what we seem to be should be a slogan for us at the higher functioning end.

IntenseWorld said:

We are trying to fulfil everyone else's expectations of us, it's not what or who we truly are though.

When you had your diagnosis (which sounds recent) did they not give you some sort of pamphlet of support groups or anything?

If you search on this website, there are a variety of local NAS groups and there might be social groups where you can talk at (as opposed to 'to'  as we are oft wont to do) like-minded people on the spectrum.  Might be something there that would be of help.

I hope the psychologist helps.  Sometimes they can be useful to give you a different perspective on things as we tend to focus on one way of looking at a problem or ourselves.

I think not being what we seem to be should be a slogan for us at the higher functioning end.  We are struggling to mask what's going on inside (I even mentally rock back and forth when I'm stressed as unless I was in a complete meltdown I wouldn't do it publicly).  We are trying to fulfil everyone else's expectations of us, it's not what or who we truly are though.

Stay strong.

Sincere thanks for your reply Intenseworld, it was exactly what I needed to hear :-)

I'm sure you appreciate "meltdowns" are not always "rational", and I did not "suspect" I may have offended you, it was more of a "fear" I suddenly developed (and I am grateful for your reassurance that I was mistaken in thinking I may have upset you, and also that "from your perspective" I have not been "unreasonable", that in itself is of comfort).

I have no "support" as such to aid me in times like these, however I will discuss "events" in a few weeks with my psychologist in my second "post diagnostic session". I know it's no "big deal" in the "greater scheme of things", but to suddenly find myself weeping uncontrollably and feeling no avenue of recourse is per se, debilitating and disabling. I am angry with my "Self" as much as anything.

Thank you also for your wish and desire to offer "advice" in "handling" my current "meltdown" experience, but I think we both know it's just something I have to "work through" myself... at least that is how it "appears" to me.

Anywayz, thanks for the "touch-base" Intenseworld, I feel better just knowing there are no "bad vibes" between you and I (which makes me feel less "alienated").

IntenseWorld said:

I can sense from your words you are an extremely sensitive soul.

PS, I can sense from your words you are an extremely sensitive soul.  I know how that feels.  Just build an invisible wall around you that you choose what you let in, the rest can bounce off.

Dream said:

Dear IntenseWorld,

I just wanted to make sure I have not said anything to offend you.

If ANY of my words hurt your feelings or upset you in any way, then I can only apologise, it was not my intent in the slightest.

You were "the one" who made me feel welcome to "the community" and shared intelligent and intellectual conversation, which is of great value to me. I was thoroughly enjoying our discourse and interaction.

Again, I am truly sorry if you feel I "acted" inappropriately in any way, you seemed to comprehend me in a manner "the majority" do not.

Much as I would like, or intended, to be an "active" member of this "community", as I am currently in some sort of "meltdown" I am not sure of the "involvement" I will be able to offer in or on this particular forum.

Thank you again for your insight and understanding, it has been much appreciated (if not somewhat brief).

I wish you and your family all the best,
safe journeys to thee and thine,
Dream.

P.S. If you "feel" or "perceive" I have indeed caused you "hurt", and my apology is not sufficient "remedy", all I can think of is to offer making a private YouTube video for you of the 3 chords E, A & D in the hopes that it may inspire you to teach yourself guitar.

Dear Dream,

you absolutely haven't offended me.  I'm confused as to why you suspect you may have?

I'm so sorry you are having a meltdown.  Stay strong, I'm in the midst of a bit of one myself so I understand.  Well, mine is kind of an Aspie burnout situation.

Please don't worry about having offended me, I haven't been on the thread as I was out of town today (long and stressful day).

Absence doesn't mean offence taken.  Trust me, I don't withhold from replying to let people know if they have offended me.

I wish there was some advice I could offer you regarding how to handle your meltdown.  Don't worry about getting caught up in the official stuff on here, as long as you heed mod requests and are reasonable (in my view you have been exceedingly so) then you will be fine.

I hope you have some support to help you get through your difficult time.

Thank you for your very sweet offer of a YouTube video.  Your music is yours to reach out to everyone, there is no need to go to any special effort on my account, I'll just challenge you to a duel if you do offend me! (joke)

Dear IntenseWorld,

I just wanted to make sure I have not said anything to offend you.

If ANY of my words hurt your feelings or upset you in any way, then I can only apologise, it was not my intent in the slightest.

You were "the one" who made me feel welcome to "the community" and shared intelligent and intellectual conversation, which is of great value to me. I was thoroughly enjoying our discourse and interaction.

Again, I am truly sorry if you feel I "acted" inappropriately in any way, you seemed to comprehend me in a manner "the majority" do not.

Much as I would like, or intended, to be an "active" member of this "community", as I am currently in some sort of "meltdown" I am not sure of the "involvement" I will be able to offer in or on this particular forum.

Thank you again for your insight and understanding, it has been much appreciated (if not somewhat brief).

I wish you and your family all the best,
safe journeys to thee and thine,
Dream.

P.S. If you "feel" or "perceive" I have indeed caused you "hurt", and my apology is not sufficient "remedy", all I can think of is to offer making a private YouTube video for you of the 3 chords E, A & D in the hopes that it may inspire you to teach yourself guitar.

Alex R - mod said:

 Id prefer it if you did not pursue this line of discussion.

Fair enough sir, I had absolutely no idea you would feel so strongly about the subject matter.

Alex R - mod said:

And I'm sure you all already know that claims about how autism is caused and treated are invariably highly sensitive topics, so at the very least please be careful.

Thank you very much for pointing this out, easy to avoid when one knows in advance :-)

I have no desire to thrash out the law of contract. As I have said, I am not a lawyer. However, I do know enough to observe that a consideration must have meaningful value; a request for courteous behaviour is not consideration in any conventional sense.

Please do not attempt to convince me, or any other NAS employee, that our relationship with you is contractual; nothing is to be gained by such an assertion. Id prefer it if you did not pursue this line of discussion.

Alex R - mod

Hi Alex,

Firstly, sincere thanks for adding so quickly the ability to italicise, I appreciate how trivial it may seem to most, but it's very important to me to differentiate the words which I define and are "mine" in quotation marks, and quotations uttered by others which I tend to put in italics (along with other things).

Thanks also for the clarification regarding the decision not to create an "underline" button, I had not considered it's appearance of an apparent "link". The strikethrough button appears redundant though as it appears to merely delete text - unless that was the intent, in which case it works! ;-)

I think we've covered the "difficult ground" I inadvertently stepped upon with the "C" word, I fully understand the relatively "unique" and "unusual" position that topic put's NAS in legally, I've deleted what I believe was inferred as the alleged "claim" (which I had not intentionally implied), and again apologise. Please just let me know if there are any other parts of my post which are perceived as potentially problematic and I will edit them out immediately. I appreciate IntenseWorld may not comprehend the complexity of the situation, and I myself would be questioning it further had I not been through the experiences I have.

There is one teeny tiny point I am really really trying to "bite my tongue" over, however I'm afraid I just can't, so please forgive me in advance for the next paragraph, and please don't interpret it as being "rude" as that is NOT my intent, it's just there are some things which feel soooo important to me, and this is one of them...

Alex R - mod said:

I'd like to reassure everyone that our relationship with you is not contractual

I had two years of "Business Law" classes in college back in 1984, and unfortunately for me, spent the last 5 years obsessing over "language and law" (which is truly brain breaking stuff!). At least I received a chuckle reading the "Limitation of liability" section of the T&C's, soooo carefully worded by Lawyers, one has to laugh! :-)

Thank you again for your reassurance that my email was validated, the superb response to my request/suggestion of an "italics" button and both yours and Anil's "handling" of a "delicate situation" regarding my unintentional transgression, it IS truly appreciated.

I hope over time I may become a helpful, useful and valuable member of this community.

Safe and peaceful journeys to thee and thine,
Dream

IntenseWorld said:

Are you allowed to say what you mean about unusual and being extra careful, just so we understand?

Disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer, I'm just a semi-retired moderator.

The Cancer Act 1939 makes it illegal to claim to treat or cure cancer. There are exceptions, but they don't cover us or our users. So please, don't make such claims here. Like I say - I'm not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice, just a polite request.

And I'm sure you all already know that claims about how autism is caused and treated are invariably highly sensitive topics, so at the very least please be careful.

Thanks for your understanding.

Alex R - mod

Dream said:

OK where is the underline one!