Adult Meltdowns

I was so glad to see this topic. 
I still have meltdowns.  Years ago I've had public meltdowns (workplace, public areas etc.) so it was just awful and of course I lost my job many times because of it.

Since I have kids I trained myself to "keep it in" as long as possible and run away from my kids into a safe and closed area (my bathroom) to not scare them.  But recently I started working full time and it makes my situation more difficult. 

I've tried mindfullness, but because of my short attention span it was too difficult to relax or meditating. But I think it will be very helpful to others.   
 

I still get meltdowns.

Most of the time I'm just about able to suppress them in public and at most will shed a few tears until I get home and then I'll let it go. However I have had public meltdowns in the past when things have really pushed me too far.  I was so close to losing it at work just before Easter and they don't know about my diagnosis. 

I really like the idea of the inflatable boxing gloves. I  think exerting some energy  up against a punchbag or a pillow would really help in a situation like this.

Yeah, I've experienced a lot of meltdowns, especially over the past year or so: too many problems to deal with, and particularly those caused by people who are supposed to be helping, such as various medical departments, the DWP and so on; I'm sure plenty of other people have experiences of the organisations in question and realise just how obstructive and often downright nasty they can be.  Add that on to a bunch of other long-standing problems such as depression, panic disorder and so on and the results can be messy.

In my case it's been both terribly embarrassing and also quite dangerous, having caused myself harm of varying severity and intended to do so with greater severity.  I've been picked up by the police on a number of those occasions (who with just a couple of exceptions have actually all been really nice and understanding) who've typically taken me to hospital under Section 136 given the seriousness of their concerns just to have me kept waiting a few hours, hastily assessed and sent straight back home with no help (other than "self-refer", in other words "go and bother someone else, we're not interested and there's nothing you can do about it.")  Even the police have pretty much given up with them now and just stay with me until it burns itself out.

It seems the best coping strategy is to not put myself in a situation that causes meltdowns, though life as a hermit is rather unfulfilling; and it's not always possible when there are situations which must be dealt with, e.g. health, DWP bullying etc.  Hopefully at some point, although these problems won't suddenly all just go away, I may find that I'm being assailed on few enough fronts that I can cope with some degree of dignity.

Edit: having re-read this post, I'm not entirely convinced about the merits of quite so much detail.  Still, being sensible was never a strong point of mine.

Yeah, I have meltdowns quite often (like today), when I get stressed (and sometimes just for no real reason...) which generally involve throwing things, punching inanimate objects, slapping myself in the head or hitting my head against things, crying hysterically, growling or (trying not to) scream.... Used to think these were panic attacks but they didn't seem to match up to the actual panic attacks I have had, which tends to feel more like a physical illness in its main throes than uncontrollable emotions

 Also I have a pair of inflatable boxing gloves which are super satisfying to hit things with, so I guess that's a form of coping mechanism.... :L

I've had a few of late. Terrible really. Some Epi's misdirected, others spot on, but mainly due to sleep deprivation and sensory overload.  Normally I internalize everything, which makes me ill. Recently, i've become less passive and more assertive. Very gratifying. Told a very intollerant woman (Stranger) Where to get off the other day. Most empowering and remarkably controlled considering. 

Marjorie195, you may find this book helpful. I've only just started it, but the insights are great for me personally and any woman on the spectrum really, but also for NT hubby's who don't fully appreciate what overload feels like or how to know when to back off and give us space.

www.amazon.co.uk/.../1849057575

After a bad experience with meds myself I've turned to natural remedies. They are not for everyone, but I've not become worse by taking them, unlike some prescribed meds.

Zone tripper, I might try that tac next time I have an issue, thanks for the tip.

Coogy

I have never had pills, but I agree with what you are saying. I tend to bottle stuff up at work, with casual aquaintences, with everyone else, and then I go home to my husband, and something happens like the cat throws up and I have to clean it, or he wants to go out together and visit friends and it tips me over the edge and I explode because it's just one more thing that stresses me and I become unable to cope. Sometimes I am really horrible to him but it's like I can't help it. I have to vent my frustration with the world some way, and he just happens to be there when I reach my limit.  

I am trying to learn to actually talk about how I'm feeling and to say when I feel stressed because I've been around people too much or when I'm in a really bad mood for no apparent reason but I find it really difficult. I've taken to trying and diffuse imminant meltdowns by doing housework or re-organising drawers and desks sometimes which does help to calm me down enough to open up and talk about what is actually bothering me. I also crochet which relaxes me, but some of my meltdowns occur when I can't crochet for some reason, like I have go out or do housework! 

Needed to delete my bit thank 

Yes I sometimes have a meltdown. The worst ones happen when I am very stressed and when I am alone as I try and work out what is going on in my life or a particular situation. It starts with overwhelming confusion, I don't shout or scream but I make some starnge noises, I pace the house, cry, hit my head and curl up.

When I am in public and I have reached my limit with stress, worry, emtional or sensory overload instead of loosing it outwardly. I shut down which can be just as worrying for those around. I become unresponsive, I look down and stop interacting altogether and stop almost all speech. I have to be left alone for a while.

I am slowly learning to recognise my limits and try and get home before a shutdown or meltdown.

T

I have meltdowns with people I know well, not strangers. My husband suffers most from it. It was held in check by the medication I took until a few years ago.

If someone I shouldn't yell at upsets me, or if there is a general build up of tension, at home or elsewhere, then sooner or later I start shouting, when I am home. My husband says that I over-react to trivial situations, but it's just that he will be on the end of a backlash that has been building for some time. I usually feel really bad about it later, and try to apologise, but sometimes he is the one that winds me up.

I have been discussing asd with him sometimes lately, and he is beginning to understand that my breaking point arrives sooner than most people. It makes him angry if I "over-react", so now, we have decided to walk away for a cooling off period when either of us is angry with the other. We then sit and talk, some time later, to work out what went wrong. He thinks I am volatile. He also thought that I had changed, but I pointed out that we did row a lot, before I went on meds, so maybe I have just reverted to normal, but am out of practise with coping with it.

I persuaded him to do the asd questionnaire recently, and he scored 26, so maybe he is somewhere on the lower end of the spectrum.

Neither of us want me to take meds again, so hopefully we will learn to deal with it.

Marjorie195 said:

I have meltdowns with people I know well, not strangers. My husband suffers most from it. It was held in check by the medication I took until a few years ago.

If someone I shouldn't yell at upsets me, or if there is a general build up of tension, then sooner or later I start shouting, after I get home. My husband says that I over-react to trivial situations, but it's just that he will be on the end of a backlash that has been building for some time.

I have been discussing asd with him sometimes lately, and he is beginning to understand that my breaking point arrives sooner than most people. It makes him angry if I "over-react", so now, we have decided to walk away for a cooling off period when either of us is angry with the other. We then sit and talk, some time later, to work out what went wrong. He thinks I am volatile. He also thought that I had changed, but I pointed out that we did row a lot, before I went on meds, so maybe I have just reverted to normal, but am out of practise with coping with it.

I persuaded him to do the asd questionnaire recently, and he scored 26, so maybe he is somewhere on the lower end of the spectrum.

Coincidentally, when I am around strangers and I feel anxious or upset or worried about something, I tend to tell them that I have a neurological disability and/or Autism and ask for them to be patient with me. 

I did this in Natwest one day when I had difficulty with my debit card (it had been frozen due to a suspicious transaction).  I was taken to a quiet part of the bank and a member of staff called the fraud hotline for me and I was able to sort the matter out. 

DebzD22 said:

does any other adults have meltdowns? I had one the other day when i was out during it everything but my dad was blurred i was just screaming and shouting stuff i cant remember now, 

after that i cried for a good amount of time i couldnt control any of it had to let it happen until it was over

im guessing this is a case of a meltdown

Absolutely!  Although I try to control them as best I can and seem to cope better than I used to.  It tends to happen when I am extremely anxious about something, or if something is upsetting me, then my upset turns into anger which manifests in a meltdown. 

Even non-ASD people can suffer from panic attacks, which are similar although not entirely the same. 

Ive read replies but donno how to respond 

Normally i get away from people ASAP and cry hysterically, rarely shout at anyone, it is mostly internalised (not healthy). but did have a screaming row with one friend in the street about something ridiculously trivial. He wouldn't listen to what I was saying, kept repeating himself and it quiclky descended into personal insults, both crying and yelling. Must have both looked nuts.

We are still friends though, both v embarrassed about the incident and blamed it on our star signs.

Parents used to have spectacular rows, lasting hours. Neighbour hid in our garden with a tape recorder once!

I had an incident on xmas eve where I got into an argument with my partner. I just couldn't get my point across and then she said that she was right and that it was my ASD that made me think differently to her and that I was wrong to think the thing I was thinking. I get to a point where the other person seems to go on and on at me to give way and see that they are right when I think differently.

Now, this followed a visit to friends where I ended up eating a quantity of chocolates and then washed it down with a mug of hot chocolate as I thought this would be better than coffee :-( Having seen the recent thread from Marjorie about chocolate poisoning I'm wondering whether this had set me up for the meltdown.

It turned into a black dog of a mood that lasted into the next morning when it cleared away leaving me a bit battered and bruised. It was a bit like a brain storm in a way - like some bad weather had passed through my head.