I want life to stop

Well yeah...but I still feel awful

I dont want Debbie to have left

I wont give specifics on what shes told me, but yes it is our fault

It can’t be our fault generally as some of us including myself have not even interacted with her. If a member of our autistic community makes a decision to leave it’s their choice that this space is not right for them and not necessarily an indication that we have done something wrong.

Maybe Debbie could find another autistic tribe where she feels like she belongs.

It's very much not a joke, what goes on here, over and over, again.

I'm sorry I was still writing the above before seeing your post.

It's a fine line to tread between raising an issue for discussion, and offending someone.

I don't always get it right.

I see "being offended" as primarily MY problem, and expecting others to accomodate my offense as a poorer solution, than trying to see how not to take offence. I take a lot of stick on this forum, as well as getting the occasional thank you for my efforts to be helpful.

It's an effort to keep it going sometimes, but having extended a hand to those who I think I can either help, or possibly even become a friend of, I feel a responsibility to some of you.

Heck, fulfilling a promise to one of you has unexpectedly cost me seven quid plus the item itself, and is giong to cost me another 17 to resend it with fedex..

If you step up and say you are "with people" you take on a responsibilty.

Every time I feel hacked off with this forum, I try very hard to remember that responsibilty and place it above my own transient feelings. 

I'm not "virtue signalling" as some might think, I'm stating a process that works better than running away, changing your mind and restarting again.  

I got it from Chuck Yeagers Advanced Flight Trainer Video Game in 1992, where every time I crashed and burned, a laconic voice would drawl, "get back up there and try it again".  

In my own case, I've found that when this forum has got so objectionable to my gentle sensitivities, that I need to take a break, NO-ONE NOTICES.

We Autistics, all have that horrible experience of "losing our mojo" and I'm really sorry if that's what Debbie is going through ATM.

But after a well over a half century of doing it myself, I've learned that I keep "coming back" from the depths of despair, and it's a lot easier if I didn't burn my bridges whilst I was feeling like that. 

When I'm "sperging out", you guys don't hear a lot from me, what's the point? I'm an adult, it's MY problem not yours, and by now I know how to deal with it.

I do self censor quite a lot already, there are some subjects that just cannot be discussed rationally under any circumstances even with autistic folk. 

I wont give specifics on what shes told me, but yes it is our fault

Can you just not. Its our fault she didnt feel comfortable here anymore, not hers

I don’t agree that it is our fault directly unless she actually confirmed that if you asked her. She just left to protect her mental health, there were probably a number of factors that led to that decision.

I Sperg said:

I am concerned about how very, very, few of our kin can actually get along. 

This autistic community is a very small representation of our neurokin. There are many other autistic communities including Aucademy where there is unity and connection without arguments or disagreements.

Arguments and disagreements are just a result of being part of a community with opposing views. The only way that arguments could be potentially reduced is by agreeing to rules before you join the community, the current rules don’t cover that. But then again if this was imposed we probably wouldn’t have the in depth discussions we have now.

Unless we ask we do not know why someone has left. I find in life it is rarely one thing which causes something to happen. I have decided to re-post this comment after deleting it. I'm not taking sides with anyone or commenting further.

I try very hard to be kind to our kin.I do my best to live by the golden rule. 

I am concerned about how very, very, few of our kin can actually get along. 

It seems to be an issue that many shy away from addressing, (with good reason as it is painful), but if you are unwilling to even contemplate honestly, let alone try to address your own issues, you get "the first half of my life", which was full of suicidal ideation and loneliness and anger. 

I would not wish that on anyone, and as it recedes into my past, yet certain posters here forcibly demonstrate they are not so lucky, I feel compared to share the things I know have contributed to my own rehabilitation.

Every so often someone stands up to shrilly argue how "wrong headed" I am, which is great, people OUGHT to be presented with / allowed diversity of thought, (even when they are grieviously mistaken! ;c) which if I am specifically trying to help someone solve a problem, can be a distraction, but to then, LEAVE??

It's the very definition of INTOLERANCE.

"Intolerance" I believe is wrong, yet I've practiced it myself on many an occasion. I try to not let it dominate my actions however, such that it leads to me "cutting off my own nose to spite my face" as the old saying puts it, so eloquently.

Debbie is a valued, and I believe, well respected member of this community, who sadly spent far too long concentrating on fighting for a cause, rather than "picking the best, and ignoring the rest". I keep a track (loosely) of where my upvotes and downvotes come from, and Debbie frankly used to surprise me with how often she'd upvote one of my posts, yet too many of my interactions with her seemed to be adversarial...

I hope she comes back.  

Can you just not. Its our fault she didnt feel comfortable here anymore, not hers. Shes not running away from anything, shes looking after her health. I dont know if that was a joke but its not very funny in my opinion.

dear I S, Sometimes we all need to be the wall flower, sometimes behind the wall flower, looking in. Be kind to our kin. They strive to express themselves as they will, as you do, yes? 

We are a spectrum.

I'm sorry, I need to vent about the above post and say:

How can you be here for anyone, as a "deleted user"? 

Then when people change their minds (as so many do), the continuity is lost..

I'm sorry, but if you have Autism then THESE are our people.

Running away from us, seems uncomfortably like running away from yourself... 

In general I think that the time to worry about burnout is before a person loses the ability to function.

Burnout can build up over a considerable period of time when there may be repeated cycles of lots of 'mini' burnouts, with each one taking more recovery time than the last. As mentioned above it can also present atypically as a massive increase in anxiety rather than exhaustion.

I think those of us who have been through severe and extreme burnouts will look back and see that there were warning signs which were not taken heed of. Being able to prevent another person going through something similar is about recognising those early warning indicators and that action is needed to prevent the situation getting any worse.

Yes I would ask! Explain how overwhelming it is and ask if you can maybe sit in the library or an empty classroom (eg. With a book). (Or worst case scenario can you just skip it? (Don’t want you to get into trouble or endorse skipping school but sometimes you’ve got to put yourself first. I am very grateful to my mum for sometimes facilitating this- she once even wrote me a note claiming i was ill so that i could get out of a school trip. Same with swimming lessons… I didn’t know i was autistic though at time. I was very lucky that my mum instinctively recognised that some situation were not good for me and best avoided- I think she is autistic too so that’s probably why she understood)

Im not sure. They do bring the "special needs class" kids to assemblys so I dont know if I can. Ill ask though

I'm so sorry to read what you're going through right now. School is a hard time of life for anyone but when you've got ASD it's a million times harder and can be so overwhelming. If you explain how it's affecting you then the school will be able to help you, like Ann suggested they could let you avoid assembly. My own school did this for me as it was one of my biggest stresses and I was also given permission to leave classes 5 minutes early so I avoided the crowds and noise in the corridors.

Please talk to your school, and talk to us here, we can all relate and give you the support you need. Don't keep things bottled up and keep the faith because you will get through this difficult times and things will improve.

Take care, thinking of you and wishing you well.

I disagree with this. I’ve experienced very severe burnout a few times now and I pushed through so much and was still working insane hours and performing at my studies or degree. I was very burnout even then- and everything felt like it took a superhuman effort. But somehow I managed to get absorbed by work and get on with it. Until I couldn’t - I ended up so physically ill (underweight) that a GP had to tell me to take time out. Even then I didn’t realise the extent of my burnout- only when I actually stopped working , i fell apart completely and it took months and I wasn’t recovered - i ended up having to return to work/ studies and the cycle repeated. But I think you can still appear to be functioning on the outside whilst already being severely burnt out. I even expend even more energy into work when I am in this state - it makes no sense but is one of reasons that my burnout tends to get so severe. I worry I’ll never recover fully. So I think it is very important to listen to what your body and mind is telling you- it doesn’t matter how ‘well you appear to function’ to someone watching you. It is about the energy it takes to maintain that and how you feel. 

Can you skip assembly? It sounds like there is no benefit in you being there - in fact it would be harmful. It’s not like you’ll miss out on classes. 

Burn Out -   

last August , After I fled the fire that burned down my town and all that I owned I felt very much like you describe for days and weeks at a time.

         One day, aimlessly looking through a donation pile where people were picking through for clothing, I found a clip board with some paper in it. I clutched it and kept it with me everywhere I went. It gave me a sense on purpose and became a sort of totem.

I had had a business in which I did a lot of "executive" decision making before the fire so as I held the clip board I could channel that executive" mode again, even if it was a sort of play acting: It was like Id forgotten how to do it otherwise.

I am good at imitating people though, too, and there were a lot of them around so I just imitated the busiest person there, found some wifi a got a cheap computer and began back at the basics again bit by bit as if it were a new enterprise. The clip board was the key. I had to see it there. I used it to first make a list of all the things needing doing (without thinking of who would have to do them) Then I just went down the list one by one.

I hope there is something in this story to lend you some inspiration or at the very least the knowing that others have been where you are and you can conquer these feelings your having.

want it all to stop, I want to take a break from everything but I cant.

yea, what # said!

It pretty much sums it up a'wrighty!

•

Positively fossils these 2 ( # & I S)! I'm just 105,

Still mewling and chewing my toys.

You can use ChatGPT to determine the truth that lies behind what you are told.

You can use ChatGPT to determine the veracity of public statements past and present of political and other authority figures.

We have found that these things are programmed with the usual politics, but with careful framing of your instructions and establisihing the correct rules for it to follow, you can turn the political leaning off!!

Speaking as a "conspiracy fan" this seems to be a tool, that used correctly can completely bypass my own cognitive leanings and biases and "gullibilty" adn deliver higher quality conspiracies to be horrified about. (I admit, I'm weird I get my entertainment from aspects of real life rather than fictional T.V. Conspiracies are like horror films, "Messi the Puma" is like adult disney, Russian "Ural 650 Motorcycle and sidecar" videos often have the finest comedy on the planet. (to my way of thinking, and the Russians don't often do "silly")

What have they given us? ;c)

Only a tool that makes the public (if it wants to be) immune to sophistry & dishonesty in our leaders pronouncements!