Waiting mode and "missed" deliveries *a vent*

Sounds like my mum as well lolol  

You defins have no reason to feel that this was your fault though! You can't be held responsible for their mistakes and lies.

It's so frustrating when that happens but it's definitely not your fault. Please try and banish those thoughts of failings or it being a punishment.

Chances are the delivery driver didn't even get anywhere near your door, let alone knock. They may have run out of time, couldn't find your house or just couldn't be bothered. Who knows. The only way to stop this is to keep complaining but the delivery companies don't make that easy. Last time I tried to complain to Evri their chatbot just sent me round in circles. Keep complaining to the retailer, as it's their responsibility to get the parcel to you.

I can totally understand why it would trigger a meltdown as I've had that happen. When I'm expecting a delivery I'm always on edge and even more hyperalert to the slightest noise. There's no need as I hear everything anyway and usually one of my neighbours dogs will alert me long before the delivery arrives at my door. I end up pacing round the house, not able to focus, not wanting to start anything because I know I'll be interrupted. I hate it when the delivery is scheduled for later in the day or if I'm not given a time at all. That's the whole day written off. Then if the delivery fails you know you have to go through it all again another day 

Max has left the platform (them/they) said:

I'm also stuck on the "why wasn't it delivered" I need answers and I can't seem to let it go 

I get like that too. I think it's partly autistic inertia. It's an unresolved problem, an unfinished task and I can't move on to something else while my brain is 'stuck' on that thing.

Ah Evri that's what Hermes rebranded themselves as, "nice" to see they are as crap as ever lol.

I much rather DPD, DHL, and Parcel Force if I can get them to do it.

Wow that is so not your fault. TBH they are like ninjas in the night how quick and silent they are, but if you watch through the glass and they don't show up they are just lying on the app.

I don't use apps tbh they need to have the guts to actually put a note through my letter box. And woe betide them if they do because I will open the door as they lifte the letter box and give them the staredown of shame. Funny how I'm not good with eye contact with strangers but when I'm angry I can stare at them like I'm both stabbing and setting their souls on fire.

If they try that again make a formal complaint that their couriers are just being lazy.

Yes I know you're right, my mate showed me the village FB group, there were many complaints on one thread from this week and as the village only has about 900 adults in it I don't think DPD & evri  are reliable here at all. Everyone is stressed out because we are very rural and many rely on couriers as there's no public transport and our nearest decent shopping place is an hour's drive away. There are local towns but beyond supermarkets and DIY stores there's few big chains here to buy from. The high streets in all the towns nearby (nearest 15miles)  are mostly charity or coffee shops. 

I also think the timings on the delivery app don't seem to work outside of towns. When you get "you're next" and you are delivery 50, he's on 35 and he is showing at being 20 miles away... You definitely aren't next and it's not going to be in the next "15 minutes" they say it will. He might get 15 deliveries done in a few minutes in a city (though I doubt it) when it's miles of single track country lanes between drops the driver doesn't have a hope in hell of keeping to the schedule.

Yes when I lived with family mum always answered the door. She loved ppl coming to the door, gave her an excuse to be nosey at what else might be going on outside lol. 

I don't like anyone knocking on my door. Friends know to text in advance and I leave the door unlocked so they can walk in. Luckily this dog can't open unlocked doors, I have owned dogs that could let themselves out! 

Kate Kestrel said:

(although recently I’ve had a tracked Royal Mail parcel go missing - which is unusual)

yeah.... royal mail dont want to do their jobs anymore so they have contracted evri to do alot of their work for them.... so now evri are doing most of royal mail deliveries now... thats why your royal mail parcels will now go missing or be late

Yes I understand. I go without a lot of things I could really do with because I know there's no point ordering when the delivery will fail.

I find deliveries a horrifying and stressful thing to have to deal with. There's so much involved and so much to process...making sure I'm available, having to potentially talk to the delivery person, opening the door and OC whether or not they will actually turn up. One of my sisters has moved out about 2 years ago and earlier in the year on a Saturday I went over her house because she had to go out, she had this work thing, but she was expecting a parcel so I said I'd wait for it... And I waited...and waited and despite them assuring her it would come that morning by lunch it still hadn't arrived. And then just after 2 the doorbell rang and I answered it, ready to sign for it and talk if I had to and it wasn't the delivery it was Jehovah's witnesses. Lolol. I spent what felt like forever just standing there looking at everything but them and not really listening just wanting them to leave me alone...awful experience lol. It wasn't a religious thing for me it's just I wanted this delivery to come and I really hate having to deal with people because it makes me so anxious.

My sisters delivery never did turn up. She got an email saying they attempted delivery but no one came to the door, which was total lies because I was glued to the door all day! Luckily I've not needed to do this since and when I'm at home normally one of my family is ready to deal with it so I don't have to lolol.

I know this feeling Max (‘I wish I was normal and could deal with…..’etc) - I often feel this way too. When ‘ordinary’ everyday things feel so difficult it can be dispiriting. But I’m sure you have many great other qualities, so try not to put yourself down over this. All people - autistic or not - have difficulties, and I would say that very many people get stressed out about rubbish courier companies!

Yes - in a way it shows the courier is being careful because they’re not just leaving it on your doorstep without checking you’re in. In my local area DPD deliveries always seem to go well - they specify the exact day and hour they’ll deliver and they’re always on time to that hour, and they do knock on the door. If im ordering something online I always check first what courier they use - and if it’s Royal Mail or DPD I feel pretty confident it will go ok (although recently I’ve had a tracked Royal Mail parcel go missing - which is unusual). I do sometimes just think I won’t bother buying something because it’s just not worth the hassle because deliveries are a bit stressful. In the vast majority of cases though it works out ok in the end, and it’s likely that will happen for you too hopefully! 

well that cant have been evri because the evri courier would have thrown it on your roof and took a picture of it mid flight and sent that as proof its been delivered lol probably be someone elses roof though maybe.

If only I could reliably leave the village to collect things. Except for dog walking I rarely leave the house and even more rarely drive somewhere. Amazon and Royal Mail are fine, our postie has done this route for 20 years. All other deliveries are unpredictable. I'm afraid my nearest lockers are 15 miles away. 

Maybe it's someone's idea of how to put shops back on the high street, annoy enough people and they won't buy online anymore? 

I've adopted a policy of only buying things online if they can either be delivered to an Amazon locker, or are coming royal mail with no need for a signature. If the company can't explicitly confirm that's the case, I don't buy it. Nothing is worth the stress of chasing around after a courier for several days 

Hi Max,

I’m sorry - that sounds very stressful. I also get stressed waiting for deliveries - and feel unable to do much else while I’m waiting. Delivery companies vary a lot and some are pretty useless. I often have deliveries where they don’t knock on the door but just leave the parcel on the step in full view of the road. Very annoying. Hopefully things will go well on Monday. They really might - so don’t lose hope. I think your idea of putting a note on the door is a really good idea. 
Try not to turn on yourself and blame yourself for this - it’s not your fault that the delivery company seems to be a bit useless. 
Try to find something interesting you can focus on over the weekend, something you can get really involved in - so that you don’t focus on the parcel the whole weekend. Think about this moment - this day -  not Monday. Try to live in the moment and enjoy that, rather than putting all your thoughts and energy into thinking about the parcel. It will arrive eventually. 

Yes I think it's the injustice of their lies that is really irking me. But I have calmed down some. Going to bed as soon as I can get the dog off the sofa. She can hear everything except "come on it's bed time, get up". Lol. I swear she's as PDA as me lol 

Your door set up must be quite difficult and really frustrating when you have a new driver on the route. We had a regular driver for 5 years, he knew everyone by name and all the quirks of rural communities, but he retired last month. The new one throws parcels over walls and leaves farm gates open, or people report the same experience I'm having. 

Anyway, better put this aside until Monday lol. It's Doctor Who tomorrow. I'll focus on that! - oh bother, now I'll be thinking of the Doctor in bed and not sleep again.  Hahaha 

I feel for you. It's horrible when one has been eagerly anticipating a delivery, and then it doesn't come. It just adds insult to injury when the delivery company claims delivery was attempted, and you know damn well that isn't true.

On my front door, I have an A4 laminated notice requesting visitors use my doorbell, with an arrow pointing in the direction of the doorbell. Because my house was built on a slope, the front door is not on the same floor as my kitchen and lounge. Therefore, if someone uses the door knocker, I cannot hear it unless I happen to be by my front door. Sometimes, I think the delivery drivers are in too much of a hurry to read the notice though.

Fortunately, I have a bin shed at the front of my house. If I'm unable to get to the front door in time, the majority of the delivery drivers will leave deliveries in there, and will usually pop a card through my letterbox to let me know. To be honest, as it can sometimes take me a while to get to my front door, some of the delivery drivers will just automatically deliver to my bin shed (my safe place).

Fingers crossed that your delivery WILL come on Monday. 

I have added to the delivery details for the driver 

"A big dog lives here, she barks at everything and can hear an ant fart in her sleep. If she's not barking you're at the wrong house" 

I've also added what 3 words info and a house photo. 

What gets me is he was in the village. I watched him drive around, on the app, and get close to here, I'm literally the next delivery then logs it as he's left a calling card, which he hasn't hence the above message.

My mate tells me many ppl in the village have the same issues with this delivery firm, it's a regular argument on the village FB group. Along with "why is the biomass not working again?" (Another of this weeks problems, no heat or hot water here)

I’ve had this problem with UPS before. I can prove they weren’t in the road at the time they said they I wasn’t in for the delivery. Sometimes if they’re really busy they’ll mark it undelivered so it rolls over to the next day and they usually come on the last day before they have to take it back to the depot. So I would imagine it will come on Monday but it’s so annoying to keep waiting especially when they fail to deliver on days I’m at home then come when I’m at work all day

That was a lovely thing to do with the extra box of toys. My mate also spoke to the company I ordered from and got them to give a voucher for the inconvenience, but if it doesn't turn up Monday they will just refund the money. And I have to spend Monday waiting, again. At this point I don't even want it anymore. The joy of the product has vanished. I wish I was normal and could deal with going to shops/speaking to people then things would be easier, but I can't which is why I order online.