Published on 12, July, 2020
I have ordered something online. Something I really want, a special treat for having survived a really long bad period. It's a one off, saved for, and I really had to be encouraged by my counselor to do this one nice thing for myself.
It was due yesterday 11-12. 6pm the app says "sorry we missed you". I have a meltdown because I'm my head it's my fault, they missed me therefore I can't have been listening properly. It's rescheduled for today
Due today 2-3pm. Same thing happens.
Now rescheduled for Monday.
I have been in waiting mode for 2 days. It's hard to do anything else at all. Yesterday I didn't eat because I was so eager to get it, restless from waiting, jumping every time the dog barked (and she barks at everything) and then too dysregulated after the failed delivery.
Today I sat in silence on the sofa waiting. No sleep last night so unable to find things to occupy myself today. Watched the delivery app. I put a sign on the door saying "I am here, make the dog bark and I'll know you're there" . I paced. I paced a lot. 5:45 I'm next on the list. Ping. "We're sorry we missed you" app shows him exiting the village.
Boom. Meltdown. I don't deserve nice things. This is punishment for wasting money. Horrible thoughts about my failings. Clearly I did something wrong.
Mate came round and dealt with the deliver company but they'll only retry on Monday, and only once more. I can't afford to lose the money I spent on this so that's causing more stress. I swear they have not been here. My dog reacts to anyone outside, the repair man this morning didn't even get to knock and she was going nuts.
Now I'm stuck in a cycle of waiting. I had planned to use the thing this weekend. Now i have no plan for the weekend, I'm tired, I hurt myself in meltdown, and I'm ashamed that someone else had to sort out the delivery company on my behalf. I'm also stuck on the "why wasn't it delivered" I need answers and I can't seem to let it go
I’ve had this problem with UPS before. I can prove they weren’t in the road at the time they said they I wasn’t in for the delivery. Sometimes if they’re really busy they’ll mark it undelivered so it rolls over to the next day and they usually come on the last day before they have to take it back to the depot. So I would imagine it will come on Monday but it’s so annoying to keep waiting especially when they fail to deliver on days I’m at home then come when I’m at work all day
I have added to the delivery details for the driver
"A big dog lives here, she barks at everything and can hear an ant fart in her sleep. If she's not barking you're at the wrong house"
I've also added what 3 words info and a house photo.
What gets me is he was in the village. I watched him drive around, on the app, and get close to here, I'm literally the next delivery then logs it as he's left a calling card, which he hasn't hence the above message.
My mate tells me many ppl in the village have the same issues with this delivery firm, it's a regular argument on the village FB group. Along with "why is the biomass not working again?" (Another of this weeks problems, no heat or hot water here)