Hello - Looking For Help Please

Bless you for being a good friend.....and a man who "sees" AND "addresses".  Rare.

That is good advice, and back when I was invested in claiming my rights I never took no for an answer.

I copied every form before submitting it, and when I realised that they understood a different English to me. (Beaurocratese, before anyone jumps to conclusions) I went as far as making my own recordings of any interview.

They don't like it, but as I pointed out; "I just want to be sure that what I thought I said was what I actually said when I get home, as previously I've been held to have said things I did not remember saying at all".

I can't believe I came up with that on the fly, but I made it stick, had my interview, and received the correct and very prompt service I was seeking...  

I hope my textbook example of how to "push your luck" helps someone to get the same prompt and very correct service I usually get from any poor official who gets my back up.

I "did" my friends consultant this week, and managed to get him an immediate reduction in his meds and force a review of his history that showed them increasing/changing his meds when he was in crisis and never reducing them again after the crisis had passed.. Once he realised that in addition to not backing down, I was clearly describing over medication and that we both knew it, instead of doubling down on the medical bullshit, he actually stopped listened and not only adjusted the meds but asked me to keep an eye  on the situation and come back next time. My friend loses his power of speech after his "treatment" SOMEOBEODY needed to ask if that was right. Turns out that the guy had no idea this was an issue... 

They want you to give up at this stage. Why let them win?

From comments here and elsewhere it is common to be rejected with 0 points on the first attempt. If you have someone from CAB to help you they will know all about the appeals processes.

I know it sucks. Especially when you've got so much to cope with regarding your parents.

I've thought about applying but can't even get past the telephone call needed to start the process. With the talk of benefit reforms in the budget it might be even harder in the future.

Seeing the gulf between what is promised and what is delivered by government always triggers me briefly.

Every day proves to me how little we need these parasites, and what a massive waste of time and effort it is working to pay taxes to them.

Which isn't why I stopped, and dropped off the grid, but sure is why I'm not going to rejoin "the workforce" again!

WARNING - THIS POST MAY CONTAIN TRIGGER POINTS

Received letter today from DWP to say application for PIP has been turned down.

This is despite my lifelong history of Insulin overdose attempts, each one worse than the previous one, whenever I get overwhelmed by noise or life in general.

Not gonna bother appealing.

I had been encouraged to apply for PIP by various mental health 'experts' for last few years, but the application for my ESA (been in Support Group for nearly 14 years) was stressful enough (involving 3 appeals in front of a judge + doctor = like a criminal being on trial, over 3 consecutive years). So I didn't bother, until now. 

Unsure if/when my Mam will be coming back out of hospice/will have to obviously buy more food if/when my Dad gets a care package sorted so he can come out of local 'care home' (been in since 9th January = was only supposed to be in for 4 weeks), so thought the extra money would help if I need to find somewhere else to live.

Having to run around after the Government departments, literally begging for help, is just too degrading and disheartening, and just makes my mental health even worse, when all the current Government want is for every single person in the country to be working, including disabled and people who've retired early, so they don't have to offer any benefits to people who are less well off than these University-educated MPs (mostly from South-East England) are.

I was sent an appointment for a face-to-face appointment, 1 hour away via 2 buses, but this was cancelled by them as person I was supposed to be seeing was unavailable (not given any reason why). So I had to have a telephone appointment instead. If I HAD had the face-to-face appointment, it might have been better for me, as they would then see how anxious and stressed I was having to go out in public to somewhere I hadn't been before, by myself.

So my message to anyone else applying for any benefits is to make sure you get proper advice/help before doing so (I had to get someone from Citizen's Advice to help me fill out application form), and if possible get written evidence/statements from your GP or care worker, about how your condition affects your every day life. Make sure you have as much evidence as you can get (and take a copy of it, plus your application from, before you send it back).

I would suggest to anyone else feeling desperate, to contact the Samaritans, but the last time I tried to e-mail them, I heard nothing back, so ... maybe find someone else to share problems with, if possible.

And one final message - anyone who voted for this current Government should be ashamed of themselves.

Im so sorry to hear that, Mark. There just aren’t words for how hard that must be. But there’s support here when you need it. Don’t rule out joining in again even if it means a new account. 

Mark, my heart goes out to you, that's all awful stuff to have to deal with, for you and your mum.

I urge you to consider just leaving your account (if you haven't started the process to close it, or they ask you if you really want to do this) dormant and available for use if you need someone to talk to. 

I'll admit not every cry for help or companionship on this site gets answered, it sure isn't a magic cure-all place, BUT there are some wonderful empathic, helpful people who log in form time to time, and if you catch one of those, it' really is "suddenly" worth being here.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best possible outcome..

My Mam is going into a hospice on Monday.

Probably just as well that asked for my account on here to be closed, as I don't think I'm gonna be able to cope.

Mark I've only recently returned to this community after an absence owing to technical difficulties with a former email platform where I was known by this community as NAS83898 (see this and both profiles) I've been around a bit and done lots despite my own autism. I've learned to develop a thick skin since childhood over my 78 years.  I understand how masking to do so can wear one out both mentally and physically. I was able to survive the NT world through focusing on my work. Socially I've been useless. All I can offer you is not to give up. You must learn fortitude---it's a matter of survival but it is tiring. There is no magic wand for us---only support that generally just isn't there. So, carry on with this site and you will ---eventually gain some fortitude in the knowledge you are not alone!

MacMillan Nurse came to see Mam today, and I got upset, left the room, and had a good cry in my room.

Always helps me let off steam/let stress out.

Sorry man, had I seen it sooner I would’ve replied sooner.. 
See if you cannot get your hands on some autism bio’s, you would be surprised at how creative people can get in pursuit of comfort.  

I found that having access to your special interest and your means of nullifying sensory-sensitivity is key to reducing your overload cool-down.. There was a time where I wore sunglasses, a baseball-cap, a face-mask, and earphones to sate my AS needs. I didn’t even realise the compounding fashion-explosion until someone pointed it out..

Sometimes - its the luck of the draw.......I actively try to say hi to anyone new who pops up because it was a big thing for me to start writing in this place.  However, things get buried and pushed aside in the bustle of posting sometimes..........plus there is the current issues with "blocks" and "moderation" that is discombobulating some of us.

Yes, I had a couple of nice private messages too. I agree that joining in is part of it, but it’s extremely hard at the start. I wonder if my mentioning that I felt like an outsider contributed to more people replying (as they felt they should, rather than wanted to) which then made it easier for me to contribute more. I should probably not try to analyse it too much… 

But this isn’t my thread so I’ll leave it there :) 

Good luck - keep safe.

When I first joined I felt like an outsider but the more I contributed the more I feel a part of this place, and there really is so much support and understanding.

That's really good to hear Zoe.

I remember some of your earlier posts and I notice that you have joined in more.

I so agree that you need to contribute to really benefit.

That's been my experience too.

Hi Mark. Sorry no one replied to your post. I did see it yesterday and was going to reply but sometimes I get overwhelmed with replying to posts and kind of shut down - but I wish I had of done now. I wouldn’t have been able to advise with noise outside as I have more of an issue with noise inside my home. But I do fully understand noise sensitivity. I can see you have asked for your account to be deleted, if you don’t mind me suggesting it may be in haste. When I first joined I felt like an outsider but the more I contributed the more I feel a part of this place, and there really is so much support and understanding. So while you may not find the support you were originally looking for from nas, you may well find being amongst others that ‘get it’ may be beneficial in the long run. 

Why not keep your account going and you can come in as and when the mood takes you? I've seen some people leave and then return, and while there's nothing wrong with formally closing the door, why not leave it slightly ajar in case you could use a supportive chat some day from people who understand. I've found conversation and empathy on here better than any elusive technique, not that I don't understand your wish that bespoke exercises could be readily discovered and used. Whatever you decide, I wish you well. And I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's illness, that must be very hard on you. 

Thank you for the reply. 

This isn't the place for me, so have asked for my account to be closed.

But thanks for trying to offer advice anyway.

Take care.

Thank you for the reply.

Thank you for your reply, Shardovan. You shouldn't feel guilty about not replying to folks on here. It's not your job to help anyone but yourself. I've felt guilty and even selfish most of my life for not doing more to help others, but it's resulted in me being left behind in the self-care department.

Just feeling sorry for myself, as usual. Can't help it.

Anyway, have e-mailed and asked for my account on here to be closed. It's not really the sort of place I should be when I'm struggling with depression, Type-1 Diabetes, and trying to help care for my terminally ill Mother.

I just think there should be some self-help techniques listed here on the website, if people are struggling and feel the need to try them, especially if like me they can't face/cope having to make endless appointments with a GP/mental health team. Not great when you come to the main charity's website, and can't find anything that might help you there and then, when you need it. Just a thought.

Take care.