People saying "I wish you were normal"

Same here!

I think being weird is a good thing, it makes you unique. 

i understand this. i belong to a group where there is another autistic person and we always get spoken to together. as though we were the same person. one woman even said it saves time trying to translate the instructions to each of you. but it's not just un-autistic people who do this. autistic people have a caste system too. the more they can pass as un-autistic, the better they think they are and the worse they think you are. they say, oh he's very autistic, bless him. or that group over there are letting autistic people down because they should be in a special needs group and not an autistic group.

the other person is better at fitting in than me and she has really made copying un-autistic people a daily study. she can pass as one of them for a long period of time. 

you can forgive un-atuistic epople for not understanding or being unsure of how to deal with people who are different. but you also get it very much in autistic groups, and so what do you do about that?. i am a member of an autistic group and they are just as bad.

how can you teach autistic people to be less shitty with each other? it's like they want to be worshipped for being less autistic than you. unless it suits them. 

there are three or four people who are very high functioning in this group and they can get away with pretending to be non autistic, so much so that when anyone comes in from the building, they go straight to one of these people and think they are the leader. and they take us away one at a time and give us a lecture on how to be better autistic people.

one of them says it is not lying. she says it is manipulating the truth. another one says it is not manipulating the truth. it is reshaping our communication. she says when we speak or write, we are offering vegetables that we have grown. but before we offer them to people, we need to wash them.  to make it more she teaches us how to manipulate the truth so that it or how to be better at maniplating the truth

and then when it comes to being put into groups, the high functioning auts go together and the low ones go together. 

When I was a younger and would speak my mind more, I used to respond “normal people don’t talk about other people like they’re aliens, aliens don’t exist, and I do exist so either you think I don’t exist or you believe in aliens, both only dumb people would think” let’s just say I got into a lot of trouble speaking my mind as a kid, now I just scoff and roll my eyes wondering how those idiots are still alive with their stupidity. I hate to say I’m used to it but sadly I am. Another thing that could be said against them is “at least I have a working brain, which by your views and understanding of how my brain works, doesn’t seem to be the case” an old friend of mine told a teacher that in high school a few years ago.

Really 'normal' should be replaced with 'what works' as in what is best for a person to 'work' not in an employment sense, but work to function in day to day life. 

Being not 'normal' in the sense of not being like the 'majority of NT's' works for some but certainly doesn't for me. So I don't mind it too much. 

Flint,

From my perspective "normal people" is racism, claiming that there's only one correct way to neurodevelop and every other way needs to be treated and fixed is no different to saying there's only one correct way to develop a culture and any other culture is pathological needing to be treated and fixed.

Viewing anyone's brain as pathological is racism and prejudice from a neurological perspective. 

mael,

This is why I greatly support the Neurodiversity Paradigm, if you read my comment about "normal people" (I don't believe in any such thing) there's no scientific reason to claim our brains and other neurodivergent brains to be pathological.

This so called normal brain is no more valid than saying there's only one correct culture and every other is dysfunctional, there's only one correct race and every other is dysfunctional.

The normal brain is simply prejudice and a neurological version of racism.

Loz said:

It's an office building so despite claims to the contrary, they don't really like you to be different. It means they have to read policies and understand that some behaviours can't be helped. I got told last year that I needed to improve my 'poor attitude' after a situation.

Desmond79 said:

My ultimate mistake was not declaring my disability on the application form

Hi Loz and Desmond, can relate to both of these comments. I too had tried to muddle through employment without declaring Aspergers, but finding I would have to in future after being told to "improve at communication skills" in appraisals.  Had the best, most understanding employer from 2011, until a restructure when upper management decided to 'Outsource' several departments and I was made redundant November 2019.

Now I'm in the difficult position of looking again, but roles are a combination of some things I'd do well, and others that I wouldn't, with customer contact and "excellent communication skills" on every job description.

I don't mind people saying they wish I was normal. 

My problem is I care about doing a good job. I care about high standards. 

I only spent six months in a Civil Service job in 2004. My ultimate mistake was not declaring my disability on the application form; as I left that it didn't affect my ability to work. However, it was a blessing in disguise. The environment was so Toxic, and dealt with - arguably - the most hated, and divisive, department of the UK Government. Plus, I tried to blend in with the 'Lazy Civil Servant' Stereotype.

I did reapply for the Civil Service a few years back. However, I had no real motivation, other than a Paycheque, which isn't the right motivation for a job. God has other plans.

In my current job, I sometimes wish I was 'normal'. It's an office building so despite claims to the contrary, they don't really like you to be different. It means they have to read policies and understand that some behaviours can't be helped. I got told last year that I needed to improve my 'poor attitude' after a situation. Given the information presented, I pointed out that it actually sounded like they wanted me to be less anxious.

When I worked in Theatre, no one batted an eyelid, I could be anyone, and do anything as long as I got my costumes made by opening night. 

Actually I've just remembered. All my life people have said to me 'you're weird', 'you're strange', 'you are a funny girl' (as in funny-peculiar) etc. At every stage of my life. I've never known why.

So it's similar to 'I wish you were normal', just the other side of it.

It used to bother me but I've been alone at home for so many years now that I don't meet anyone who says that anymore.

"Normal" annoys me ,what they mean is typical  , average , boring  ,run of the mill, unremarkable ,commonplace ,ordinary.

Personally i prefer being me .

Aww thank you both. It's all good now, I'm estranged from my mother and I generally avoid people so they can't call me fucked up lol

you're welcome!

That's so horrible.

Im sorry you had to go through that. 

Wow, thank you so much for this! ️

That makes me sad. I'm sorry. 

Ugh that *** makes me so angry. My mother used to scream at me "why can't you be normal?!" and I can't count how many times I've been called fucked up, damaged goods etc. So fed up of the stigma.

"I wish you were ethical, kind, open-minded and a little more generous but we can't have it all". Is really the only proper response.