Published on 12, July, 2020
First time posting here so I hope I'm doing it right.
I've noticed a lot recently when my Mum talks to others about me or my brother having Autism people will often say things like "Oh they have something wrong with them" or "If only we could give them normal brains" and I'm standing there feeling like absolute crap cause then I think "Well I'm obviously useless so what's even the point of being Autistic and being alive. Then there's the sympathetic sad looks from people and the" Oh I'm so sorry for you" comments. It just really gets me down sometimes. I'm very proud of my Autism as it makes me who I am but when I hear the comments it's like a punch in the gut.
its no problem,, music is personal and i have changed my mind about some musicals after listening to their stuff long enough
Thanks, because most people mock and laugh and insist that I must like some type of music. It's impossible that I dislike music because 'everyone likes music, right?' Like alcohol. I do not like alcohol and won't be pressurised into drinking.
I am just me
I feel you and everyone who has commented here...I hate this so much. Sometimes I think the worst thing about being on the spectrum is other people's reactions to us!
Personally I think the best response to the 'I'm so sorry' thing is, 'No need to be sorry, I'm quite happy being me.' That's not rude or getting personal with them, and it's challenging their ableism without being confrontational yourself. I think you have to bear in mind that these people often aren't speaking maliciously or with the intention of being condescending; we live in an ableist world, and NT privilege is such that often people with little to no knowledge of Autism (and even many who do have knowledge, sadly!) are taught that Autism is a terrible thing and don't know how to talk to us. I don't like it when people call me 'brave' or 'inspirational' for being open about being Autistic...I don't feel like I'm being 'brave' or 'inspirational' just for speaking...but I feel like it's important to remember that people are mostly trying to be kind when they say these things, so we shouldn't come down too harshly on them. It's just about educating people as openly and honestly as we can, and setting things straight, so we can hopefully do what we can to change attitudes.
I've just had a thought (yes, it happens occasionally) whilst re-reading this post. Perhaps a good reply to anyone who hits us with that is: "...and I wish you were more neurodiverse."
Fair enough - each to their own!
I do say stuff to them but I normally just do it to stop people from asking more questions.
Not really, no. I can listen for a few minutes but that's enough. I prefer total silence/ birdsong/ waves on the shore.
Hi there, I was just reading your message and it made me feel terrible as I have 2 boys aged 21 / 13 my 13ys old is on the Spectrum, and I sometimes look at him and think I wish you was like your brother, my son is hi functioning so to look at him you would think he is the same as any other 13yr old, but he’s not Advanced as all the other 13ys old and that’s what makes to worried as I’m not sure he could defend himself, so he only sees a few friends that he has grown up with, but I feel he is missing out he loves being with all the other lads, he just doesn’t get the chance, and it makes me sad for him, and that’s why I say to my self I wish you was like your brother, and then I hate my self for even thinking it.
wow thats pretty antisocial on the antisocial scale
If they can’t love you for who you are then they shouldn’t be around you. I have largely become a hermit because of this and just talk to the odd stranger outside to get into museums and galleries. Part of me still wants to flee when they ask questions though.
Word-this made me laugh.
Really? Is there any music you enjoy?
tbh I rarely listen to music, I don't really like it, so I can't judge it.
Yeah I find her reinventions interesting, but her music is a bit meh
I like Madonna because she is always reinventing herself like I am. But never really seen the appeal of Elvis.
Personally I think both Elvis and Madonna are overrated lol
Or we could say something like 'but I'm kind and loyal' (or whatever our good points are). I dunno.
even Elvis ? Madonna ?
If someone said that to me, I'd follow up by asking what "normal" is.
Haha, true! Cool people are boring, and they're all the same.