Just wondering if anyone else doesn’t have any friends at all or is that just me?
I'm sorry you are going through this feeling :( I have a couple of friends who I have known for a really long time but for the past years I have not made any friends. College has been lonely and so has work and uni. It seems I am incapable :(
No, it's not just you. After spending my whole life masking, the very few "friends" I have are all in inverted commas because I can't be myself around them and I have little interest in the things they do and talk about, so it feels fake.
I'm really lucky to have found my 'special someone' and we are getting married next year. He's my best friend and totally 'gets' me; I can just be myself around him and he loves me for it. I'm also quite close to my dad, although he's 70 now and I worry one day soon he'll be gone.
Growing up, my cat was my best friend, and when he died it completely crushed me.
I also have a small cuddly toy named Monkey (he's a monkey), so at least I know he'll never leave me.
I feel a lot closer to the people I chat to on this forum than most of the people I come across in real life, and I find it's a close enough approximation to friendship for me, so, for now at least, I've stopped looking to make new friends out in the real world.
Oh no it is definitely not just you. I don't have any friends, what puzzles me is that I kinda think I'm ok with that. In order to not keep squishing me into a social norm that I just didn't fit I seem to have removed myself from it entirely; I didn't do it consciously to begin with but it is now quite obvious that is what I've done.
I would like to chat from time to time with other people like me but I think I would rather be alone than be uncomfortable and feel like I have to perform the 'normal person act'.
Having said that the excessive amounts of time I spend with only myself are probably having a detrimental effect on my mental health. I can't keep it up I suppose but I don't know what to replace it with.
Do you feel lonely or wish that you did have friends or are you just curious about other people? A yes to any and all of that is perfectly natural I suppose.
This is Monkey. He'll love you and never leave you. He's also an excellent listener. (He's a bit rough around the edges now, but he is 17 years old, spends most nights squished in my left armpit, and doesn't particularly like baths.)
I guess it depends what friends are for:
Have I missed anything?
Nessie said:This is Monkey.
And a very lovely Monkey he is too
Nessie said:Have I missed anything?
I don't think so but then I might not be the best person to ask
Thank you, Nessie.
Leaf said:I don't think so but then I might not be the best person to ask
I'm the same. There are people I know (acquaintances) and colleagues, but on the rare occasions when I got the chance to get a friend, they wanted the friendship to be full of social activities that make me feel mentally choked and suffocated, or the masking needed to spend time with them was just exhausting, because they wanted me to meet their other friends. I got terrified and pushed them away, I can't let people get too close and I can't accept invitations or hang out without knowing exactly what's going to happen. Then there are the awkward silences.
There were 2 chances in the last 10 years to make a close friend this way.
On weekdays I don't mind being isolated, but it's lonely at the weekends sometimes. Sometimes I go all day without speaking out loud.
No, I'm certain you're not the only one on here.
I, myself, do not have a circle of friends. I had one friend from primary school that I last heard from over 12 months ago. He now works and lives in London.
With me, I DO want to have friends. Unfortunately, I have a difficult time trusting people my age. I have tried very hard to get involved with others before and they have then thrown it back in my face for no apparent reason.
None here either. I had some friends in school and a small social group when I was a teenager, but those relationships faded pretty quickly. Used to bother me a lot I guess, but now that I'm middle aged (IKR) I'm not too bothered as my peers seem to have 'friends' on a superficial basis only. Add to that all the drama and backstabbing that goes on, well, I wonder what's the point.