Don’t have any friends

I keep seeing this Thread, so I shall say/support that I Myself also 'doesn't have any friends at all'...

At school, One may be forced to make friends, just to make the school look good... even when those "friends" are bullies when the school is not looking, pfui. After I left, I had none remaining from school. (Even though One ex-schoolfriend still lives near to Me!) Also, I made other friends in life after school, but then they leave, too.

I prefer "acquaintances" or "allies" rather than friends. My life is (currently) friendless, but it is a lot *easier*. -- e.g. - As a "Cynosure" I often get complete strangers, often hecklers,  claiming to know Me, & so My life is easier because of the certainty of being able to say back at them: "You are no friend of Mine because I have no friends!"

(  ...Reading this Post anyone, This is why I delayed in putting anything upon it, you see.     )

I had one close female friend who stood by me thru a lot of bad times, but ever since being diagnosed as adult a few years ago has became distant. I thought being honest about the autism with her would bring us closer, but it’s pushed her more away. It’s almost likes she’s embarrassed to know me now.

That must be really challenging when you need space, but I'm certain she wouldn't swap you for anyone. I'm sorry the school's SEN support is so lacking. It's shocking how, at many schools, this is still the case.

I love my MP3 player too. It's come to my rescue on more occasions than I care to remember. 

My daughter has some additional needs but isn't autistic and it's very hard! She likes to be with me a lot whereas I like my own space. Dealing with SEN support (or lack of it) at school is awful. I do sometimes wonder if having me as a parent is a massive burden. 

Got totally ignored at school pick up as usual! Thank goodness for MP3 players.

Fraiselongue said:

Since my daughter started school I have tried to make friends with other parents but without fail they always cut off from me once they get to know me.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's ridiculous how, even as adults, people don't outgrow their childish behaviour and playground politics. It's one of the many reasons I've decided not to have children; I know I couldn't cope with the noise, neediness and randomness of a NT child, much less a child with ASD, plus the additional pressure to nurture and facilitate their socialisation/social life would be more than I could bear. Fortunately, my partner is equally happy with it being just us, so we're looking forward to a quiet life once we're married.

Fraiselongue said:

I guess if everyone had 0-3 friends I'd be okay with it.

Me too!

horses and dogs are my  the best friends. 

I was was worried that they might, but they have carried on being just the same towards me. 

I have my husband, who I met at 16. Then a guy from uni who I later became friends with through email, and a daughter of a colleague. All three are introverted and accept that I don't go out to parties or clubs. We probably meet 3 times a year and that's usually enough for me. I'm grateful to have them as I know I'm not very likeable.

Since my daughter started school I have tried to make friends with other parents but without fail they always cut off from me once they get to know me. In hindsight, I wish I had kept myself to myself as the constant rejection is horrible. In 2 cases they started acting hostile after I told them I have autism.

A life of feeling like "I think this person likes me" only to discover that they were lying or being fake, gets quite depressing. When I meet people with 30+ friends I feel very inadequate.

Having said that it feels very nice knowing that it's not just me. I guess if everyone had 0-3 friends I'd be okay with it.

Yes it’s easier than talking. Does that friend behave differently to you now knows you are?

How did you become friends with your one friend?

I've one, that's one way from being a full recluse.

One of the reasons I am glad I do not have any friends is that a fair number of the people I have managed to get reasonably familiar with in the past had the habit of identifying and attempting to rectify with their "Wise words" or warnings what they perceived as flaws in my character/personality/attitude or whatever.

I never know if I should express anger at their interference and what could be taken as their arrogance and lack of respect or be gracious and believe without question that they are making a sincere attempt to do me some good, either way I am saddened when such things take place because it means that another of my many shortcomings has gained attention and my inability to follow any advice-or even understand what the hell I am doing which is so wrong in the first place-is often viewed as being either carelessness/apathy/sloth/cavalier disregard,etc,etc and soon the distances become longer, the chats shorter and the previously friendly smiles become wearier.here we go again and there's no way back. 

Who needs any of that crap? I choose solitude and have greater peace of mind.

I only recently made a couple of friends. After discussing it during my assessment session I realised that both of these friendships are helped by a lot of our communication being by text or instant messaging (as opposed to talking), as this takes much of the stress out of communications. Only 1 of my friends know I've been diagnosed as autistic. 

I have a few acquaintances and one friend the rest I would consider as friend's are actually family so not a friend ha,

But I don't really like having friends because of the upkeep in the friendship becomes a strain and I feel bad that I don't want to talk to them or have them in my space nothing against them though,iterally I just don't want to be overwhelmed. Also I like pursuing individual hobbies like crafts, design, carpentry, sculpting, playing my guitar, growing plants, so no room for anyone else's distuing my zen

agape said:

I don’t like to say it but I’m glad I’m not alone with this.

You absolutely aren't. Just look at how many people have replied to this thread already, this is a really common problem for people with autism. 

agape said:

It feels better to finally chat to other people with similar difficulties.

Yep, I know exactly how you feel. I think, maybe, this defines the basis of lasting friendships—feeling that you've met someone who understands you, and you them.

agape said:

So I’m proud of myself that I have become involved like this.

I'm sorry you've struggled to join in previously. Really well done for conquering it! I know it can't have been easy.

I'm sorry to read about your experiences of friendship. I think it's more challenging being a woman and trying to relate to other women (or girls when we're younger) because they're so much more sociable, gossipy etc. so it takes a huge amount of energy to mask and copy, and they're also more likely to notice when you fall even slightly short, and then tell all their friends about it. Men are generally easier and less fussy. If you can talk about football and/or cars and/or computers, they accept you; if you're happy to buy a round of drinks once in a while or help them paint their fence or whatever, then you're golden. The downside with men is that, when you do all these things, they think you're their perfect woman and start hitting on you. It really is a minefield.

I think the person you described won't be a great loss from your life. She sounds very unkind. Can I ask how old you are? Her behaviour reminds me of the kind of thing I encountered in my teenage years.

Yes when one has been bullied, ostracised, abused, neglected, excluded, misunderstood, falsely accused, experienced violence from other humans it is difficult to trust.

Hello CD, 

I don’t have any friends from primary school.

I do want to have friends too.

Yes I know exactly what you mean. I have tried so hard and been so kind to people but they have just been cruel to me.

I wish I had at least one friend or more. I need to feel the love and company of other people. I’m not sure if I feel lonely or not. I think I have been through so many bad things that I don’t really try anymore to make friends.

A friend would stay with you through your difficult times and be charitable and understanding. A friend would do whatever they could to help. To do loving things for one’s friend to the extent that one can is true friendship.

There are so many bullies