Published on 12, July, 2020
Well my post diagnosis was messy and the mute shut down and rejection of alll medical assistance was the out working of a failier of response that is typical of the mental health provisions in surrey. the few people I saw were ok and the psychiatrist did get me a step along but i was wel annoyed that his paper work was nessacary to qualify what i had been bleeting on about for years anf even now the system has let me drift off because i was traumatise dby the 40 questions it takes to get an assesment to go on the 18 month waiting list for therapy. PLEASE
So how was i exumed from my silence and driven from my pyjamas and the doldrums of indifferent failier and the contemplations of my own execution that I willing ly considered and rejected to continue what I saw as fsithful but self detructive choice to live.
Well She is called Foxy anad she is the dumped dog who escaped the battersey death nell, to become my little world of sucess on a different world view of things.
You can see her baby picture here
http://www.alldogsmatter.co.uk/?dogs-rehomed,7
I am up at 4 to keep the floor dry and when she eats I remember to, her walks and my medication go together and all in all we are a good team, I have to be the boss and eat first and have learned to shout or bark when I am not happy with realy bad behaviour, I am the one who is at the training classes she is well smart and had to go up a class.
The staff at the school responded in fine style to my iam autistic card and a few of them have first hand experience and experts in the friend and family line who would consult to help my challenges, which was overwhelming on the first day.
http://adolescentdogs.com/ have been exelent in their understanding and have been keen to help me keep a sfe and happy doe mostly I needed reassuring that i wass not breaking her in some way.
So I was lead out of the rock under which I crawled realy by a small bright inteligent Little Red Dog, called Foxy.
WB
When ther are no languages to bridge the devide it is the best of us as animals that we have in common, it is sad that we despise this beauty in ourselves as base and of no value or function, for I think it is the very antidote to all that ails us as a result of the toxicity of the life we call modern.
You are sounding very upbeat..Foxy and you are a good team.
I still feed my dogs twice per day as I find they can get low blood sugar (just like us NC's) and that can make them stressy. I give porridge soaked in water for breaky (they love it) then a really good dry mix in the evening.
Fudge isn't eating as much in the warm weather but his long double thickness, collie coat means he feels the heat more...nothing puts Piggle off her food though!
My mate lives down your way (Cranleigh)..nice place but a long way away for me to brave the train down...been known to lose myself on the train and get stranded in Reading..I still shudder thinking of the panic I felt She does a lot of Crayfishing in the rivers too.
Keep up the good work
Oatie
x
hello oatcakes well the sea is still there and the poo bag challenge was met with dry food for a day or two, I am now an expert in such matters.
We went to the river which has a few shallow spots that I can wade in and set an example of how and what is safe, leading by example.
Then we went on to a pontoon landing where someone had left some meat on a bit of fishing line, so we put the sticks we had formerly used in the river to use and I hoiked out a crayfish and then had to teach foxy not to investigate with her nose, a pinch from my new quarry would not have me in favour for a bit on the bank and mum would be suspisious for a good while.
After a little more messing about on the river we flung the clawed food back in and off we went, to the appoinment I was cutting it well fine for some social worker who is nice but I didn't understand a word of the stuff, I am way more interested in foxy than thin air.
We are resting a lot in the day with this weather and doing a real stint of exercise when the day cools, do yours go off their food in the heat, foxy is eating keenly just not interested in brekfast. I think she is a bit young to be doing one meal a day so I put out for two. I do the half hour window of availability, then I take it. Keeping her keen and me as the sourse of food decissions.
Have a good day O-Cakes, say hi to the other half from an on line nutter, bonkers is best and I find it easier to think and sak stuff if it is in stages, there is thinking time in between and no face stuff or quick or subtle emotions.
actually having some fun is fun. Waited to nearly fifty to get the hang of this one. Perhaps it never is too late.
tiddly om pom pom...hope there were ice creams for the NC's (non canines)?
Oh sounds great fun..I remeber taking my dogs for the first time..Piggle tried to drink the whole of the sea in one go and the inevitable happened!
She was more restrained the next time..still tries to catch the waves in her mouth though.
Beside the sea side beside the sea, foxy went to the beach for the first time ths weekend and whilst if was up to the two legged big dog to set an example and show her there was nothing to be feared, I waded in and flashed my lime green long boxers all in the ade of puppy education, don't you just love the british prudence and autistic freedom thing.
This morning we topped this all up with catching crickets, wel now if your nose is wrinckling ;;;;( some one has to teach th puppy how to survive if I ever go missing !
This playing lark could turn out to be ok
Nice to hear you both have had a better day ...I am pleased for you. Yes look SHeila up she's an interesting person and tries to really get insde the dogs mind and I think you will particularly find it interesting as she reads the dogs body language.
A lot of rescue dogs can forget their natural language and she helps owners understand better how to tell what the dogs are trying to say. I know that sounds a bit 'hippy dippy'..but it comes from observing dogs and how they interact with each other etc..
My one dog had no manners with other dogs but now he's relearnt his natural language and can approach other dogs without causing them (and him) anxiety. Your style of settling Foxy probably fits very well with this as dogs have a wide range of very subtle gestures.
We did a course on this for about a year with one of Shelia's former pupils..we are all part of a big social network of like minded people now, and we've all ended up with 2 or 3 (rebound dogs) each...basically they are the dogs that no one wanted who ketp being returned to the dogs home time and time again.
None of them are ever going to be perfect (much like us humans) but they are a lot happier now and a lot calmer. It's hard to explain in an email but she has books etc...and the results with Foxy prove you are doing a great job with her.
Slow and steady Wolfbear..trust your instincts..you are doing a great job with Foxy Four Legs.
Keep posting I really enjoy hearing about your days together..plus it helps my partner who is taking a keen interest in Foxy..we found the picture of her..ADORABLE...what a lovely dog. I am hoping my partner will feel brave enough to join the forum soon...but it may take some time to coax him out.
Kindest regards
Better days, The lurcher at large if you can get your local store to donate a few packs of sausages, cooked and cut to a mix of small pieces, medium and whole, place on a long string in a orange bag with holes in and see if the old chase instince will work in slow motion. it may take a few days and goes at this to bring the bag close to you with the dog in tow but thaat will bye pass the fear that has set in.
Foxy has grown wrinkles and I think her bad days this week end part from working out the weekend dynamic with my partner, has been due to the preperation foxy's head has been making towards the skull split that is part of the growing thing for staffy crosses.
As for the moon thing for those of us who are sensative to the lunar influences I gt the pull on my behaviour more on the equinoxes and before the moon prior to the sumer solstice and after when the solstice has passed. I am quietest and most settled in the winter months.
A stint in Canada had me understanding the moves of winter in a person and their ways.
There are few who think this idea has merrit but my Family who are ASD all eventually notice a pattern and they have similarities, my gender and hormonal surges were much amplified and the veil behind which my ASD hid to the understanding of many for years.
So I have no doubt the moon may have been in the wrong spot.
My proper Auty day had me silent while I collected myself and the sign language enabled me to see foxy's bility differently and in a less cluttered way, my indifference that had no lessons or training and let her go free for the day ended up quite fruitful too.
So silk purse out of a sows ear of the day has transpired. Less pressure for both foxy and myself, she has jusy had a song and a massage all over gentle and is quite soothed for it.
I am enjoying htis wee chat as it goes on, let me know how the lurcher gets on and if the sausages do the trick, I use them as a training reward, with grat sucess. The lurcher will not go hungry at the very least.
I will check out the lady on the web.
A dogs day turned pooches mooch to a learning curve
Sorry if you are feeling down. You are both bound to have these trying times..Foxy's been through a great deal and is learning to adjust.
Just looking at the postings you do seem to have more good things than bad to fraw from although after a difficult time it doesn't always feel that way on a 'black' day.
We had a terrible weekend too for many and varied reasons..me and my partner didn't cope well and our dogs looked like we had beaten them..the stressful atmosphere is not good for anyone. Maybe the moon is in a weird place and threw us all out of kilter.
We worked hard today and things are much better and calmer..hope you all feel better soon...some days it's like wading through the treacle of life..but wanting to get there usually means our persistence pays off in the end.
I hope you all have a better day tomorrow.
Best wishes
PS you might be interested in looking at this womans approach to dog behaviour..if you Google Sheila Harper..an incredible woman with a completely 'dog-centric' approach...I think you would quite like her outlook.???
Foxy and her hormones, wether that is her season setting to turn on of my partner and i having a mary, it make no difference, a naff weekend is a naff weekend for all.
I spent the morning asleep with my puppy and cried till it was asilly thing to do, not got the hang of stopping this the second time round, having learned to cry it is harder to stop this time. A work in progress.
Till such time I defered to the dog and we are having a day of silence all the enthusiasm of talking and the new stuff has tarnished quickly with an nt's idea of emotional mayhem to bust up a good thing.
The hand signal traininng has paid off and I get to talk with hand signals to the dog that is cool, and has diffused my frustration with all the wasted efforts asking to be taught makaton, its a kids thing AGAIN. I am fer more attracted to my silence these days and have settled in to the fact that, learning to ask for help is just another NT idea without any benifit, hey ho ! but this is now a settling resignation that i am getting comfortable with.Why I ever thought the grass was ever greener on the other sid eof my experience I will never know but am glad to be passing this notion reppidly now.
IN chineese understanding HOPE is a deamon and bringer of sorrow.
I am picturing Foxy as having 'cossack pants' now and laughing at her peddling..a very good description. Thanks for making me smile it's bee such a hard few weeks for us here.
My partner was trying to rescue an abandoned lurcher yesterday but to no avail. He's very upset as he knows it's out there alone, frightened and in very poor condition. We have gathered up some more helping, understanding hands from our doggie minded pals and it looks as though we may have a loving home for the poor animal and I think between us all we will manage to catch him/her as gently as possible, and get the poor thing some much needed care and attention.
The world seems a very alien place at present,there's too much blame and not enough understanding. Thankfully we have a few people around us who are supportive and a lot of love in our little family to keep battling on.
It warms my heart to hear about yours and Foxy's relationship and I am pleased I joined the forum as I think I would have completely lost the plot without the support on here.
kinds regards
Scratching the itch, I do love the place I call the peddle spot, that make the dog peddle in mid air when you scratch it just right.
The teeth are falling out wiht gusto and we have carried on embedding the lessons so far.
She is ready for some new things, es boredom sets in from time to time wiht the sedate life i lead, but one trip on the bus and we are all cool again, time for a trip today.
The finner details of her development are the details I have in life anyway and the chance to do things at a level of patient application for its own sake in it's own time is about as affirming as it gets.
The survival thing is part of my life investment and I have a full kit in store in my cupboard, I have books on free food and am investing in skills that can insure my survival regardles of the interests of others.
A recent basket making course was a real affirmation and a great gift from my sister who has the ability to empathise and understand.
Flint knapping is on the cards and I always have a flight plan that I check in wiht and keep updated.
Take care and I can reccommend the Ray Mears books they have lots of usefull pictures. I did rock climbing and an abseil for charity to keep my mind in a fit place.
The hardest issue is pace and finding the pace to do the survival skills is the real challenge as everything is so much of a rush and the materials demand a pace of their own.
PS Foxy has got baggy trowsers at the moment so I think her legs or body are going to grow and fill the extra skin.
Animals we are and animals we will always be this is not a base form but our true nature, whilst the lion may down its prey to eat we have the ability to select ours and measure out choices but we are also driven by hunger, amongst other things.
Wow that was really interesting. I am very sensitive to smells and can tell if my Dogs have something going on too by the change in their smell.
When Fudge was very anxious in the bad old days his eyes were a different colur..more amber and flinty..not he's happier they are a soft brown..any stress and they become amber again..but much less so now we understand him better.
My other dog, Piggle does a kind of flamenco if she gets agitated..so the more he paws tap the more stressed she is..daft old lump she is..
I like the willow anecdote..I remember that from somewhere deep in my genetic memory..I would love to do a Ray Mears type weekend and learn to forage properly. Sometimes modern living has few appeals and I feel like gathering up my pack of humans and animals and disappearing into the mists to live in peace and quiet...I would miss chocolate very much though
Keep up the good work and give Foxy an scratch in her best itchy spot from us.
This is chew week for foxy.
she has come to me to fix the odd feeling in her mouth, so we have chews on tap and bones and other stuff. It is easier to meet her needs and understand what is happening for her when I am on top of her daily changes, I knew there was some thing going on in her skull because her eyes changed shape. Her coat is growing and getting softer, she has fluff round her perssonal bits and smells different. Yes folks Foxy is about to go in to season and become a teenager.
I put the crusty honey in her cong chew and this sedated her a bit, the first time she tok out a tooth we were in the park so i found a couple of clean willow leaves chewed them up and spat the mix in to my hand she scoffed this medicine and I had instant asprin on hand to sooth her.
On the farm, The tractor radiator water which in those days was just very hot water in the summer was poored onto willow leaves or twigs and then fed to the dogs when cool as willow tea to help if they got bitten in the hay by adders, who moved into the centre of the harvested field. They were flushed out at the last few cuts of the mower or baler by the dogs who could be bitten in their persuit of the mice who followed the same refuge. harvest for all and it was all.
So expectations are relative to the toothache monitor this week also.
Calm and cuddles has it alll the way, you can never go on when its the heart just out for a spin, and I liked the stuff you had to say oatcakes.
Foxy has had a cuddles and calm week, and we have reassesed what we want for her and her future. she is very attractive and popular so I have to regulate this.
As for leaving her we are not doing that till she is older and has better impulse control which we are working on regularly. The vets advice is the best and simplest "set her up to succeed". The thinking this makes is very good for me and simple to prime when I forget with the sentance as a reminder.
Foxy can be found on the alldogsmatter site, then look at the rehomed dogs that are listed in alphabetical order. They are based in finchley north london.
We have thought of the seperation anxiety but will hopefully get a large or medium cage off of freecycle so we can set her up for sucess and she can learn to hold her pee a bit more too.
My sisters boy has pdd and some times barks like a dog my sister has a very calm and constant persistance about her and dad plays the part of the final frontier. We as a group are sure the basics of Dog training realy takes the naff stuff out of the autistic learning thing and brings every bodies concept in to the moment. ditching recrimination is better for all any way and drops everyones anxiety across the board.
Please do keep on keeping on, sucess however it is aquired is about as cool as it can get.
Our seperation from the direct relationship to the earth and the other inhabitants who share this with us who come wrapped up in fur, scales or feathers; with six legs two, four or more is the loss of understanding and language that our ancestors learned and used to navigate through history itself and we would not be alive without its existance, nor would I know the reality and health I have without it.
There is much to merit a return to learning as if you know nothing and using the perameters of your humanity.
Animals gravitate towards this security and my experiences as a young person and adult bear this out. I still posess a security and lack of fear others can instinctually identify.
Do not worry about that we attend a kind, dog understanding place with like minded people (one 'trainer' is ASD herself as is her son). I deliberately didn't say 'training' as this depends on the type of dog you have and how they cope with all the stimulus.
The emphasis is on making the dogs environment calm and relaxed..so quiet is good, especially for rescue dogs who need this more than most. Both our 'pups' are very noise sensitive so fit in well when we like it quiet ourselves.
Go with your feelings Wolfbear, everyone needs less shouting and flapping about...it's overrated in my opinion for humans and our furry friends.
I looked on your link for the pic of Foxy but couldn't see her... can you redirect me as me and Bri would love to know which dog she is? She sounds fantastic, I know Fudge and Brian couldn't cope without each other and he has been Fudgies biggest fan even when he practically destroyed our home with his seperation anxiety. I am not joking..sofas, beds, window frames, doors, carpets, kitchen, contents of kitchen...decimated eveytime we left him alone..poor little guy. I used to sit and cry..not at the mess but because I knew this poor dog was so scared and alone.
We've had him 8 years now and it's all stopped, you wouldn't believe what we did to help him cope...neighbours saw us climbing out of windows, going through the back door to re enter the house 1 min later through the front. The biggest thing was keeping things quiet and calm so he got less and less stressed. Sit, stay and roll over is all well and good but a happy dog that sticks with you because they want to is brilliant and equally rewarding.
Sorry am rambling promise I won't talk about my other dog just now
I also wanted to say you have helped me a great deal this week when I was trying to understand my 4yr old son's anger and frustration..you gave me huge insight into how he was feeling and I changed things today when he melted down..it was so much better and neither of us felt like crying..he even came and hugged me and said 'sorry mum'..thanks for that..daft really it wasn't too far away from my doggie tactics..walk out, calm down, reassess and learn to avoid the triggers...simple when you finally have an angle. Squashing and forcing get us no where eh? Firm, kind, calm, minimal...thats the way perhaps?? I dunno but I will try..worked today.
I hope your week improves and I know Foxy and you will help each other. Please keep us informed about how you are both progressing etc.
Kind regards
J
This was real encouraging to read too I am all of a dither the last few days as there has been a lot of ---- you need to make faces. you need to shout, but I have done realy well on near silence and hans signals. so after nearly shouting both of us out of our skin this last week. I have ended today in tears and we are going back to the autistic silence together and calm waiting each other out for the good behaviour.
Thanks for the cheer up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is lovely to read.. I have 2 rescue dogs myself..my partner is very close to Fudge our collie cross and 'smuggles' him to work regularly..they don't liek to be a part much.
I am so pleased you are getting such enjoyment out of Foxy..she's found a great home with you.
Jx
Foxy got to loose two of her first puppy teeth last week one on a tree biting session and the other on a bone that she gets when she is having a quiet moment on her bed.
She went in to water for the first time and had her first swim in the local pond. I di wade in to demonstrate that it was a good thing to do and an experience that I as mum dog appproved of.
I am quite sucessful as a surrogate dog and my wet trainers after that outing took on the similar damp wiff that proved this with pride.
She has proved too smart and a bit too bossy for the puppy1 school class so she is in the puppy 2 class, she played so much with the dulux puppy that she had two days off full exercise with a strained paw.
As a little red dog she seems in no doubt that every one loves her and turns into a bag of wiggles and springs at the sight of any human.
The vet has jabbed and weighed and wormed her p to the stages she needs so she can stay healthy. I now come armed with treats strapped to my pockets in apermenant pouch and poo bags live with my keys in the same pocket.
Each dat at the moment she grows and changes. her eyes pooped out of her head and went bulgey the day before her head and skull grew bigger, it is a pattern that happens every third of fifth day at the moment. het soft belly hes now got fur on it ane this indicates she is doing her version of puberty, her attention is scatty just like ours goes when the hormones start flyiny around the body.
Her tummy goes from pudgey to thin depending on growth spurts and she softly knaws her leg jointd wwhile they have growing aches.
She can SIT, DOWN, STAND, LEAVE,TOUCH, PAW, left or right when indicated and understands GENTLE. STAY, is the new work in progress and all of these are with speach and hand signals near and from a distance, though from a distance she will bark and protest first bet is getting the hang of my persistance.
NO people food is a big deal in the world of my dog as I wish to train her for a fine future, stealing in a dogs charachter is not a pretty attribute.
Foxy is asleep next to me now and we will go out id the block of time we spend on our days together.
She is hoover and mop trained and is learning to leave her favourite ball as it rolls by. Her manners of letting people go first through the door are not bad and I am impressed with how smart and keen she is to repeat these tasks.
With the help of a young person called Neive and her dad, who is to be famouss for helping foxy learn to be calm around little people she stopped her bike riding lesson with dad to drop treats on the ground so foxy would be close and not jump up before saying hello, a work of much needed training still.
All this at what we think is 21 weeks, but as a dumped dog we have to wait for her body clock to tell us when she come in to season for the first time to be sure of her true age.
Her ability to jump is astounding and the day she is obbedient enough to go off the lead i think will see her flash past at speed and jump as much in sight as possible. 4 to 5ft long is of no consequence at all. she is only up to my shin in hight so I think there are springs in her some where as well as wiggles.
To share a world through the eyes of another animal is attainment indeed !
Oh, that's great Wolfbear. Don't forget that she needed you as much as you needed her. You'll have a great life together x
What a great happy ending. What an emotional post, I was with you as I read through it and I bet Foxy is ecstatic to have found you.