Foxy has four legs

Hippies of the world unite, it comforts me that the lost hope of the hippies have a chance of life as we now creep towards constituting the largest demographic around, oh the joy of growing up.

You sound like you had a real blast.

Foxy had a play day for two days the firsy day I remembered to watch her and stop the fun for a bit so the dogs could catch their breath and the super pink to go from the tongue but on the second day i did not do this to my shame and foxy played non stop for one and a half hours, purple her tongue was and they both had a real sweat on. she has been pooley sinc then throwing up a few times ( pleasant ) 

We had a trip to the doggy shop and pets at home have her on their facebook page testing out her new snuggy bed.

New toys in tow and the bank wincing I am sure.

the las few days have worked out quiet for her while i do the taxi thing as the mother in law is very unwell in hospital; What a *** up they make of staffing and care over weekend and holiday periods, she was worse after a week in ther over the holiday weekend and a serious complaint thig has to be done by the family now the whole time was taken up in th battle to keep her going when she is already very frail.

I did the auty thing and act as the final guns of naverone when nessacary, IF THEY ARE NOT SORTED IN 24 HOURS, I am going in to read the riot act. it sound rough but I do that stuff very well, no emotional attachment see, so I just flew out the hot air and it was not nessacary for me to sort anyone as there was an efficient sister on duty for one of the days in the end.

But I am just about to go blind with my third megraine over this last week, Oh wo is me wo, I say wo. well not that bad just meals and meds all over the place.

Foxy is beside me and is such a charachter, she chose her toys and bed, proper selections too with the nudging I have taught her to use. Pink ball first followed by lime and then white. Her toys she chose in order of favour and seeks them out with the same degree of like.

What a joy she is with a real sense of humour too. I removed one toy because she was starting to chew it, I move them a small distance and place the ragger on top to indicate this is the chew toy, she looks the scene up and down and me too then turnes and chews her foot for the final word on what she will and won't do, well we roll about at these things as it is quite correct and without malice, we just did not think of the extra options she indicates.

Foxy and I are on the sofa now to reset the brief holiday and it is the back to work routine in the house today so we will clean the place this afternoon and try out the new brain toy i got on ebay for poorly days in.

Mum in  law is on her last pins so its all hands to the wheel for her needs and the promises of any holiday stuff goes putt but I am getting out of the promises rages as I know now they are not what they are said to be at all, just a pride of my single youth.

I am envious of the alternative trip as a hippy who would have a piece of land and a round house for a retirement plan I am in no doubt I would love it.

Oaty It's good to know things are on the up and the holiday plans are working out.

WB

Expectations, are just achievements not yet born, so asking for surrogates and fosterers is not the first avenue of good relations, have your own first.

AH Wolfie we have had some fun!

Powis Castle...kids had a ball..grown ups were a bit grouchy..but not a bad start.

Another day we went to the Centre for Alternative Technology in Wales...FAB day out, we all enjoyed it and it was very educational. I would recommend i to anyone whatever age. Really nice relaxing place with lots of scientific buttons and levers to pull for itchy little boy fingers. The scientists (my partner and O) and the hippies (me and S) in the family were all satisfied. There was painting, ice cream, a 'mole hole' with lots of sensory things down a dark tunnel (boys loved that..I was a bit freaked out), gardens, woods, recycling etc etc..really good.

Then on Wednesday I took the boys to a circus workshop ..what a laugh! I was spinning plates (it is my forte after all being a mother of Twins). O hit it off with the circus dude and they had a real rapport. O even ran up and hugged him goodbye at the end and said I love Alex Mum. I was a bit choked. S met one of his friends there and enjoyed some time playing on the bikes etc. SO a good time was had there too..I even managed to do some shopping afterwards without any incident! O was blissed out and so helpful all the way round. 

Poor old S has now come out all over in chicken pox..why my two can't both be ill with it on the same week I will never know..so O's pox are fading as his brothers are erupting. It's like a pox relay.

Tomorrow we are meeting a potential babysitter so wish me luck. She's an experienced woman and sounded lovely on the phone..I hope we all get along and can work something out. 

Ah well bed awaits my tired bones..hope you are having a nice time too with Foxy?

Take care

Oaties

New day today, even the computer had to wait today the weekend was a sofa surf and foxy had a teenage weekending on friday so I decided that her impulses could do with the quiet and she was right off me by sunday evening turning in her bed and sighing.

She soon changed her tune with a free run, the river both directions and a play mate along the way for some proper doggy running. The splashing and swimming went well and she dared to go out of her depth for a small stick that got such a fuss made out of it she went bonkers. I have blown some of the fog off the head I have too;

the shopping is due later which is my answer to the lights and the people that do their thing to the likes...........I sit on the computer and do it on line and now it is sorted and I get the format it is easy. The sustitutes can go back with the driver if I'm not haooy and I don't have the expodition or expence, my sister has it as a back up as her son has pdd and sounds as if he and shopping can get in the same condition as your trip last.

Have a great expodition and hope the migraine is not to much of a hanger on..

WB

nothing to say today, but that is ok

Hi Wolfie

Just wanted to say hello..and I am SO tired. Tough day today cause I wasn't too well myself and therefore couldn't handle things as well I would have liked..was snappy and inconstant..not my finest hour.

We are off for a day out (mainly outdoors) tomorrow as a family..I am feeling very anxious about it (which sucks) ..wish me luck and I hope my migraine has b*ggered orf tomorrow so I can be a nicer Mum.

Big yet gentle scratches to all itchy bits for Foxy and a hearty cheery wave to yourself.

The Oatie One

(some days it's not worth gnawing my way through the leather straps)

what a difference a day makes, I have had my head spinning this afternoon thinking about the advise I dish out it is one thing to be on the inside of my memories and spout out theworld according to wolfbear but I had a real harsh deal, I happen to think it worked but as I refer to myself as FUBAR ( f**ked up beyond all recognition ) I think there is a pinch of salt needed perhaps.

On the other hand when I did get to find a psycologist recently who had a son who was asd, I had a couple of session and we agreed that I am fairly healthy as an Autistic considering the paper round I had.

But that is not much cosolation when my brain does its thing and I make like a monster. I have gone in some river drift silence past the rage and frustration again and the death wish that dances from time to time in the distance has gone to sleep for a while.

I have no account of this except that the helplessness and hopelessness has gone through its full cycle much like the cycle a child goes through when they get upset, remember the stages, crying, wailing, winging then wailing again then the chin quiver thing followed by the intermittent whimper, then the silence and this only punchuated by the odd whimp till the exhausted stilness that in the journey of every self willed stand contrary to the knowledge our elders hold................

This journey is the slow, repeated, stilted, revisited, willfull journey of every autistic with out the tears initially, as we step without indication to those around us along these stages. Fight our own stillness and resist our steps in the disbelief that the monotropic mind cultivates during our silent early development, we see and name, judge much and when we have something to say it does not fit or produce the expected results and we spend years trying to manipulate the tools we see others have and use well.

It is baffeling to do what we think is the same thing and to produce such disasterous and spectacularly naff outcomes, dispair does not realy have a depth in comparison to the feeling that grows with each drawn shaddow that grows and takes on a life of its own.

It galls me even today that there is a celebration of the "higher function" based on the deal of a lack of linguistic delay. this is bacause talking for me is more of a nervous compultion that I have in part had to control and restrain, the effore this takes is vast and if it were not for the fact that I can sit here in silence so my thoughts can form and flow I would noot be capable of such gee whiz productivity.

I used to see myself as the explosive, destructive, angry, clumbsy etc etc you know the deal you probably watch it in your boy, but I used to say, as I became able to say somethings about how it was for me "if you don't tell me, I do not know" and that pretty much was applicable to everything but I did not know how to say that I had an incredible inferential ability that was based on physical physics and how things flow together I can see the time and motion of things in the natural world, it is harder now as the city around me is like an asault to this skill and I have had to find ways to turn down my sensitivities, but i have taken solace in the things I have found in common with the understandings and ways of the first nation people of turtle island now called the americas.

There are a lot of things I learned about who I am because ther was no understanding so I had a chance to exploe who and what I am na what my humanity is composed of wiht out the pressures that are about today. There are abilities that are lost in the conformity of our time and the sterotyping and preconcieved expectations of how things are and what makes up who wwe are as people.

But the trail has been stopped while I follow my promise and commitment to love one person and grow this aspect of myself, my latest focus is slowly shifting towards affection.

I know about this and am not without faculty but if I do not focus on particular things then I loose them as they can be drowned out easily and if I do not engage something specially; I cannot fix it in me as a skill to call on.

This ability to mentally juggle is the skill of a fractured mind that I have employed a monotropic visualised somersaulting in a clockwork dance of speed that employs the memory and inferencing at such a high degree that, I finally broke when I had my last crisis.

All this would not be possible without the use of some unauthorised medication that is not generally approved of. Without it I would just not have the life I do at all. I would just destroy everthing around me without a doubt, the marked difference is astonishing;

When I say gymnastics of the mind I realy would take pages to describe the combination and volumn of processes I have employed to move from the limits of my initial skills to where I am today, thee different sequences and the nnon return aspect of choices and how that influences the ability to progress. along witht he consequences of a wrong decission or poor choice and its indellable influence.

I am fortunate to have a pal who is doing a Phd. on the subject of pain medications and medical professional reluctance to consider and prescribe alternatives that are in use and available around the world. Travel helps a lot with perspectives and pressures as does the vast aray of books read. I started with solzynitsyn. So you can imagine the darkness your boy is wading through and the hand holds he does not know how to ask for.

WB.

YARDA- KNOW - to KNOW intimately - as a person is known in a personal intimate relationship....................... I am who I am, I know who I am.

Hi yes sounds like I did the right thing then. I withdrew all treats and privileges for the rest of the day and on arriving back home I gave him a time out.

When the local kids called round I told him and them he wasn't coming out all day and they were not to come knocking again as he needed a quiet afternoon (I needed one myself too). I packed S off out to play with his mates and O spent the rest of the day quietly playing his game, reading and doing educational stuff with me.

He's been great today and we managed a family day out at a castle and long walks..the sun shone and he seemed genuinely happy all day. Result.

These types of incident are making me more determined to get to the route cause and keep going. He's not a nasty boy at all so it's particularly shocking when he blows a gasket so utterly and completely...and he's always better after doing this..but it's unacceptable on the violence level..so I am always think of how I can improve this..I am learning and once I know there is a definite trigger I can try to find a way round it.

He asked me today why I hadn't got his Ice pops from the shop..so I explained that his behaviour played a big part in me forgetting them..he looked crestfallen but then smiled and said..'i think I'd better wait outside next time Mum'..we had a bit of a chuckle over that.

Hope you had a good day too.

The Oatie One

Well oatsy, that my gal was a proper doosey. I can get the punch but when my mind made the head but deal that was a buster how are you and is your nose intact.

There are a few occassions where my frustration has boiled but I was very VERY regimented and my mother was not to be taken on lightly.

Though I did witha degree of abandon it was all verbal jousting to a high degree I grant you and I learned to do angry and cut like a knife with words but the physical thing.

That was restrained by the rewarded virtue of "turning the other cheek" and the ego trip of satisfaction that followed initially, but in the three years of severe physical and mental bullying I managed it till the third year and when i knew I was leaving the school I found the courage to hit back but it was not realy in me by then to show much violence. even now I talk it more than anything and am the preverbial gentle gaint.

The mental gymnastics my mind went through to sort out what was happening still scars me today but I cannot easily quantify it as I cannot get the treatment for the degree of trauma I have, but I digress......

I am proud of my turned out self and the gymnastics has contributed to the melting pot of ability, I have noted that it is in the frontiers of duress that I learn best and normalising the abnormal for us asd types works out as blending and sucess of degrees, not an easy or comfortable fit but all the same a survival tool none the less.

Head butting eh I don't care how or who'e son I would have clocked him back but as your fierce barking mum position is already on the racks of his hormonal fluff I would go for what my partner and mother did, you could even get the social services to agree or prefferably a large land owning friend, .........

there is not much damage you can do, all but to yourself and that soon does the short sharp shock a treat, this may not sit or be appropriate but it worked for me when I got faced with the reality of my choices, a trip to the police station, with your local friendly and a lock in the cell for 5 minuits.. my sister has this option but the local bobby knows about J and has visited on the friendly alot and brought him home for tea, oh the joys of isolated country living.

but this will all depend on the nature of your boy and how he learns but learn he must if he clocked me he would deffinitly be singing a different song today that is for sure; it for these reasons it seems time to change.

At the end of the day if you have become the punching bag as my partner said to me "You do it bacause you can, well from now on you cannot" I soon learned to define new boundries of verbal restraint as I had become a verbal puncher. I have no doubt your boy can too, but the hitting issue is frustration in full swing with no brakes and as with the dogs and biting this has to be sorted.......... or when he grows up you will lose your choices never mind him loosing the ones he does not even know he has just now. draw the line ________________________________________

Loss of privalages, los of extras, loss of all overstimulating anything, the austerity is a visual and obvious naughty step.. but there will be a storm over it if not a hurricane but you can kill some one with the right hit wiht you head and more punches besides.

You poor lady what a shock you must have had ... but time to read the riot act and in no uncertain terms it will stick in the imagination and mind forever so, be firm loud and angry.NOTE.... like the dog thing only when it is linked to the next event that is over the new line of respect the next time he steps even close and string together this with the big event and the big issue.

If he relates his reaction towards a death wish, don't pannick be ready for this it is that power house of our indifference and brinkmanship and what puts us apart with a power that dissables. tis is the deep sence of loss and desperation all out helplessness' hates and confusions in one.

It is strange to relate that after all the bolockings I ever had I felt better. I worked out it was because people say what is real in those moments and do not dress it up, ther is no doubt in anger and no room for much else, I had an answer for everything, mu, was just me with children and way ahead and we would feed off each other in the end, but after the storm I always noted I had a good calm and would gradually ramp up till I needed another fight to be put in my place and that was the security of knowing what was what, the tought bit is I needed it about everything abd all the time and that was not available, but if I had been told this . THE SPELLING IT OUT THING, I woould have begun to accept the offers of guidance I came to after years of mistakes and hardship. there realy was no other way for me to learn.

The IRON rule this young son of yours needs is probably the pressure release your boy is lookinfg for but as my sister says if the neighbours did not know and understand. they would think hell was breaking out next door sometimes but if you don't have an adolesent scrap then nothing gets sorted...............

I am so, so, sad that the brute has not got personal brakes and I do hope that you have the rescourses in you to fence this part of life off for him as an avenue of expression.

The rage of our own innability to see that the glass even exist is wrapped up in this issue and the normalising of the abnormal we do means this is further compounded, it is on this bridge that we can only cross if .........IF we have someone to trust and hand hold us to a degree of blind faith that constitutes a sort of veiled vision,. but our acute sences and differences often have belief, faith and trust in ashes long before we are able to appreciate it is us who lights the fire.......

Let me know what you think Lady O I hope this has an odd bit of ok stuff for you. Take care sweet.

WB

Time to say NEVER is a wall of absolute that will only ever invite attack but the nature of absolute is to define the things that are not to pass and this calls for the courage of death itself for this is the outcome of failier. Life offers deaths of many forms long before it releases its hidden final secret in the shadows of lifes parting.

Oh I did something SO wrong today..took O to the supermarket. Planned, prepared and only had 7 items to get..but it was horrific. Massive meltdown and I ended up getting kicked and headbutted.

Poor S got quite a bit of a pummelling off his brother and was really good about it bless him. I managed to salvage the day in the end with flims and cuddles but I am shattered now. I can't believe I attempted it and I have learnt my lesson. I was very calm throughout but it was very 'public'..I defy anyone who witnessed that to say I could have handled it any better.

WB can you explain in any way why O particularly hits out at me or his brother? He does lash out at others but not as bad as he does with me. I would welcome your comments.

Glad you had a better day and are sounding chipper again, I enjoy our chats...and I laughed a lot at the other post..priceless.

Take care you guys

Oatie

soothing balm, dear oaty you were the soothing balm my friend and it seems our lot to be knocked about in the relationship department when it comes to family, I have become immune to the degrees of snobbery and lack of knowing that my family are capable of and you would turn in the grave you don't have if i told my story, but this is the deal you get fine metal and stong steel when you add fire and a good beating on the anvil of life and I went way past rage years ago, mind you " come the revolution"

So my friend it is good to hear that i did good and that you could see that because that is my blind spot and I have to engage behaviour blind to its consequence and in the hope that this choice is one that delivers kindness and are with out recourse for the bad behaviour of others, ther are some advantages to being asd and having been raised by asd parents but mostly of my own making in the end.

even if this was all done without knowing a thing about it all at the time. They haven't written the books that deal with this stuff and I think it will be a long time coming.

oh to top off my week the NAS visit with the social worker and social service set up was cancelled. so no visit today. what a peach of a week.

Thanks foe the cheer and foxy is good with a unsetled day yesterday and now today we are chilling sheis the best continuity I have and a good constant focus.

her head is in for another growth spurt I think. and as miy head was just about to plain spurt we are good stable company.

I left you a message on one of your other comments about feeling low I hope it brings a smile to your face and look forward to the next yak.

WB

We as humans are amazing and in the face of much missunderstanding capable of immence compassion. it can bo cool to be human especially if it is on your own terms and compassion is a base driver.

Oh WB I am so sorry..what a hateful day.

I had a very difficult time with my mother in law yesterday but it was nothing compared to your day out.

I can completely understand why you are upset and that level of confrontation makes me squirm just reading it. I cannot imagine how you managed to hold yourself intact ..I am glad foxy was there to help you through it.

It is uncomprehending but not surprising to hear of adults with Asd being treated so shabbily..ignorance is not bliss. For what it's worth I would have had immense difficulty coping with that level of stress,  I just wish I could wave a wand and stop this kind of thing happening to people.

Why can't we just be kind to each other..is it so hard? I am really pleased that you managed to get it down in print and I hope it helped a little bit.

Be kind to yourself today and take care..give darling Foxy a nice scratch from me.

Oatie

Foxys horrid day out, well not quite we she and I had a good time but the rest was a bit naff. Foxy and I want to visit bath yesterday, this was once the home town of my youth and I have or had family there I suprise visited my youngest sister who has two young children and has lost grips of sensibility on her man and it would seem her grasp at all on much outside her own loves. we are estranged partly because I do not get invited to the twice yearly family reunions and I am not a car owner which is right outside of the experience of any of my former tribe; that and she had done a NOT NOW thing with everyone.

I have had to do some strange things in the course of my life but to be left outside my sisters house in the rain with foxy while she dresses and preps the children, me and older git of a woman now too. when I stepped towards her to greet her she reeled back in horror, yes my face reading is not that iffy, I can read faces it is just people do not like the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth when I can read more than they want to own. And when that includes hidden pasts even more so reading faces is not a good idea for me.

So this woman, my blood family who I had turned up to break past the isolation she is self imposing which is the product of who knows what; but two of my sisters that belong to the same church which is today's cult version of yesteryears moony cult, when it comes to tax issues amonst the least of its deals.

I met this turned off, switched person who I know would smile at a stranger in the chairs behind her in church, she needed nothing, we were no longer part of each other, well I have done wierd but this was as strange as a person can get, when we parted I had had more warmth from the complete stranger who we bumped into on the street outside the coffee shop, she liked foxy and turned out to have a 14 year old autistic and was herself, jobs could not be kept and they had never heard of the NAS so I gave her my This person has autism card and followed my sister and her two children solefully up the hill to a good bye that would have fitted more to, the asking for directions to the nearest bank.

So foxy and I made off to the park that the friendly stranger who lived 3 doors up from my sister, this lady who spoke to me in the rain as I waited had a cool black labrador that foxy had met and managed the bottom greeting properly she is growing up. The park was fenced and foxy executed an off the lead play and walk for the third time with exelence. The whole moments of our time on the playing field were a tenuous grasp on the reality that holds with furry glue my sensibilities together

Foxy had no idea that I was sick to my stomach with the stress of my sisters behaviour and that my intentions as the oldest woman and sibling in our family to insure that they all know there is a person they can go to if ever they are entirely deserted. This notion this understanding of how fickle life can be was not even in the slightest recieved, understood of concieved of. That in its self is I think a good thing but nieve considering the degree of trust that she is placing in an organisation that has turned her in to dispassionate, cold and isolated person, seperated from all the family and her husband bacause of the beliefes this organisation has. What has happened I have no idea but I do know that that was not my sister and she must have died in the years we have spent apart. Even foxy could not bring more than a glimse of a crack and you would ahve thought as a previous dog owner she might demonstrait a *** of some thing; but no;

Her son is "way" spectrum and her dislexia puts her proper on it too, she grew up with the whole ASD family shebang and there is no way forgetting that and living in the now in her execusion styleey, yes I do mean styleey. is a manifestation of anything but pain, well that's what it looks like from where I am sitting this morning.

The chances of finding food and drink in bath diminished with the tattoos, hair cut and dog and even Mac donalds with the Assistance dogs welcome did not pan out when I went in and asked if some one would help me and get my food so I did not have to join the crown.

I was asked to leave immediately and whilst they did concede to get my food said my dog did not have a uniform as an assistant dog and was not behaving like one, the guy came towards me quickly and was confrontational, foxy was up and I had no chance to keep her in the manner that she had demonstrated whils lying on the floor and foloing my every instruction to a tee and who was the trainer, when I said I was showed them my autism alert wallet. Gave them my card and explained that the company had gone to the trouble of demonstrating a dissability possative attitude.

Well after the street justifications, choking back the tears so as not to melt down at that moment and loose the impetous of my very valid education he exchanged as little information as possible so I could write to head office, no e-mail no head or area office address, no area manager. so to make them aware that there are not enough dogs and that the situation is not covered because I am an adult and that I was only entering to ask for help yadda yadda yada.

I wondered in the moments I drifted outsde of myself why I was educating this youth who's psoriasis was clearly not part of his personal management plan and was not up to food production acceptable standards that day. Who joked that I must have to write a lot of e-mails and that one of the staff knew someone who was autistic, I did shoot that one down with; that does not make you and expert, the semantics of the assistant dog sign was now being meant to be the new sign for guide dogs and no other and by this time I dispaired that I was wasting my time on an ignorant who was telling me a 48 year old woman old enough to leave him standing in so many ways, what was good for me, what was nice today and what I wanted and needed as if I had no mind or faculty of my own.

My partner wanted to do the whole e-mail thing but having worked in sales the addage that one bad report is the top of 10 lost sales I am here doing what suits me, and not the arduous efforts of educating companies that have already done their thing but the gumbars were NOT LISTENING or did not think the introduction pack for their employment had value, so Robert Cross, of MacDonalds in Bath who only gave me this information will have to have the power and indignations of my position delivered on my terms where I see fit; which is here today on this page on this site, because that is how far I am bothered to got today and the limit of my personal responsibility.

Bring back the anarchi and I will show how manners are realy taught, and I will not require a hand bag to soften the blow. so after two hours of searching for food and an oik who had boiled my blood I walked off greatful for the cold chips and burger and the small liquid I could lay my hand on in the most inhospitable city I have been in ever and that is a deal considering I have traveled the globe twice. The last bastion of food opportunity in macdonalds that looked like an oasis with all its disability signs on the door was an invitation to a hell of magnitude and I was glad to be home before the sun went down.

The fact that I have now relised all my family are now dead and lost to the riggours of a christian fundamentalism that they thank me for is harrowing, but only for a moment as the shiver of this as true drifts like a shadow of paradox over my memories. I am dismissed now, but was welcome when I bore the salient news they all wanted and now it is the drug of their destruction they are blind to me and the reality of what it has done and is doing to the way they behave.

The only escapee is the sister who's grasp of reality is sustained by my nephew with pdd and this keeps her grounded, the others are so heavenly minded they are no earthly use.

Thank goodness for foxy, my sanity and reference of compassion, faithfulness and cheerfulness. I have in my travels had more food, water, shelter, comfort and greetings of warmth from total strangers than I had yesterday from my sister who could not grasp that blood is thicker than water and I was not there because of any need in eighter of us.

WB

For all that we may say and all the opinions we may have it is what we do that defines who we are and for those of us on the spectrum this is the root of our deepest frustration.

Lots of learning going on for you both..sounds fun. 

One of my little boys has chicken pox and the poor kid is covered in them, he has a nasty temp tonight so keeping a close eye on him.

As he can't go near other kids, so the playgrounds out..we did a bit of shelter building in the woods in the rain. He got tired but it did him good to get out in the fresh air. He was a bit worried he might give our dogs 'the pox' too ;-)..he wasn't too worried about other kids..but the dogs concerned him .

Ah well better get to sleep.

Rubs behind the ears to you all.

Oatie.

FREEDOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM !

foxy got to go free,eeeeeeeeeeee yesterday and I took her to a medow with good fences that a local dog owner told me about, a fine meadow, and one with flowers and grass so high that when I lay down I could play hide and seek which worked a treat.

Foxy was all off and running without a thought for the fact I could do something unexpected, but three missing in the grass events she proper checked after that. she came on myy whistle which I have practiced when she has been on the lead for the last two weeks, so she knows what I sound like with a good one and a bad whistle, it has taken me thirty years to master the art of whisteling with my fingers in my mouth and aal by trial and error, perhaaps my no being able to affortd braces for my teeth has its pay off now.

Coming to cal is a fly past for the first two or three goes while sh burned off steam but I got her to come to me by distraction of waving my hat and then did not detain her after a big fuss, so she gets the idea that a call is not always a pack up and go event.

Can she run, the wippet bit of her if there is realy any of that in her, is the lightening that must be stuffed up her butt. She runs like the wind and goes so fast that on tight turns she slides into her next run, Pentti Airikkala would be proud of the bends she puts out. ( famous rally driver, look on wiki )

I turned around on the paths and she worked out she had to consult me as to which way we were off to and that the path ahead did not mean we were going to use it.

I laughed so much at her she does this meerccat thing where she stands up on her hind legs to see over long vegitation, I have yet to work out how to have this as a command but have no doubt this will come in time.

She was temted to get a bit big for her boots and put her mouth around my hand when i went to touch her head or harness but I soon barked in a fashion that hed her in no doubt that I am still her big mummy dog and she is not quite all grown up yet just free for a bit.

I think at 26 weeks-ish this freedom stuff is advanced stuff for her age so I am very pleased with her, she certainly ate her supper and the missing of breakfast in the morning was not in evidence when she popped her pop bellie on the mat in the evening.

My partner is working a lot and came home very worse for the ware the other night, foxy and I took to bed and she came round my side, when the coordination was so poor that stuff banged a lot, and both of us left the bathroom, I decided neigther of us was cleaning up the mess around the toilet and kept her out the next day till I had checked and repeated the evenings poor efforts.

Foxy and the time and protection I show her seems to be an issue sometimes, at others it is reported that I am not understanding what is going on but I let this view pass without comment it is easier to have people think you don't understand than to argue the points of jealousy and guilt about being around.

My partner is doing such a big job and does not get to be home a lot and I am not always waiting on the mat, I am out with the fox and seeing the countryside that I ahve overlooked around here. Working this out will settle I hope soon, we all have the whole weekend together and foxy has a great sense of pack which she looks for, pining every morning when my partner goes off to work.

Foxy and I are curled up today and about to have some breakfast, with another day of adventures to be thought up.

We have a favourite for the back garden which is catching crickets which she has as a snack but we cleared the patch of them as they bounced off to safety.

Foxy likes to eat grass a lot both for roughage and for medicing as an emmetic, which I help her choose grass for. there is a fine art to picking the best bits of grass and knowing which is which for what job. I can kind of tell now which grass she is after by the way she eats and the patches she chooses to graze, so I get to help and do mummy things. I introduced her to wild thyme and marjorham yesterday which is cool as they are for upset tummy's. all good stuff on the same day.

WB

we are seperated by our own ideas of connection and the expectations we place on our ideas of relationship. we have much in common but choose to embelish the difference not the similarities, when this is deeper that we prefer to go.

yes I bathed Piggle last week..she's too big and heavy to get in the bath so it was a bucket and watering can jobbie ..I picked a warm day on the patio.

She really did hum before hand as she has a penchant for rolling in the most unspeakable things...I did all the dogs bedding too so they were most unhappy and have been ragging it round the floor to stink it up again 

Glad Foxy didn't find it traumatic...good old duckie.

Oatie

xx

yep the universe has deff-tly done it, from water pistols to baths, a couple of people commented that foxy smelled very doggy well I'm not bothered like she is ment to smell like the flower market, but the river had left it fairly real and two comments had me thinking that she had not had a clean start since we first got her so I got naked and we got in the bath, I was not going to wet clothes for the sake of her blushes not after she has seen me in the pink every day. 

I had to hold her like a valued item to reassure her and got the flannel out that she has been pinching for the last few weeks on and of, she did very well to stay in my arms even with the bob martin shampoo. she began to gripe towards the end but I now have a refreshed fluffy dog. I gave her the DUCK which is a toy thaat only comes out for special occasions, she was VERY pleased and I have to say whils I am reluctant to bath her with any regularity, this was a task I had in mind when we first got her partly because we did not know what former care she had recieved or where she had been.

The vet said they need a bath once a year so I guess thats it till next year. She falls asleep between my egs when I do my internet stint.

WB

calm is a great friend and a state worth persuit.

Oh I'll do that thanks..dogs will love the addition of the peanut butter. I made some with liver but the smell made me and the boys 'gip'...this one is much kinder on the nostrils and I am sure the lads would be keener to get involved in this recipe.

The dance class went well and O came out and said 'I didn't miss you at all Mummy'...I was really pleased cause he was quite anxious about me leaving him to begin with.

The women running the class said both boys were really well behaved, so I bought them super *** water pistols as a reward on the way home...great fun ensued..two small boys, water pistols...it was hilarious and I got the pump action ones..I know I will live to regret that next time the washings on the line..but 'hey' they are only young once.

Hope you are all having a good day too.

Oatie

DIY Dog biscuits.

Half fat to flour pluss liquid, just like pastry but.

Half the fat is lard pluss two realy heaped desert spoons of peanut butter. 

The liquid is a weak gravy mix to add a meat flavour but water from the sunday dinner pan, sausage pan or the veg water ( thanks Oatcakes ) is just as flavoursome.

Mix the fat in the flour till evenly mixed up,

add the liquid till the whole lot is a stiff dry ball.

add flour if it is sticky till dryer,

pull off lumps and roll in to sausages,

cut in to pieces and flatten lightly with the palm of your hand of roll in to little balls for small dogs.

Bake in an oven for 10 mins ish and cool before storage.

watch the dogs weight if used regularly without lots of exercise, the lard is very effective fuel for the winter.

If you sell this recipe to friends or the biscuits you can raise money for the NAS with a pet shop in the garden, along with old sox tied in knots as raggers for dogs to chew.

WB

We are bound by our own limitations and imprisoned by the limitations of others only if we heed their call.

Dancing, has the universal hicough burped over the pair of us in some misty way ?

Foxy has such a love of standing up and we are firmly making her greet with all her legs on the ground, so this avenue of expression is halted but when I put music on we are in the process of dancing lessons, she cannot stand for as long as she intimates when jumping up on people but we haave almost cured that, the dancing is appealing to he and she comes to me now with a toy to begin as this is what I gave her so she had something to do with her mouth other than try to nibble my hands.

Thanks for the heads up on the salt thing, will note the ingrediants- our house is fairly food smart, we tried foxy on james wellbeloved but she was very loose on the food and hungry so we are a pedigree house, In the days when I was farming it was all big pots and the dogs got the early death animals and the butchers lights, long gone are these days of healthy out door living I have been exiled to the town and surrounded by townies, a gracious and lovely bunch mind you but way way away from my roots.

WB

Clean food like clean water produces in us two legged's a persona far far more stable and grounded with faculties we all morn instinctively when they are absent.

Hi

You are doing well for Foxy..it all sounds very nurturing. The porridge we give ours is half oats half water..you don't need to add anything else. I'd be careful with the gravy granules as they can contain a lot of salt..not good for anyone.

I save the vegetable cooking water or juices from the sunday roast to add too..any leftover cooked veggies or boiled rice would be soothing and nourishing if added to the dry food or porridge. Sensitive dogs are like us..the fewer additives the better.

Hope you have enjoyed the weekend together..I had an impromptu hospital overnighter on Friday, then had to spend all day in bed Saturday when I was discharged. Managed a short (and slow) walk today which made me feel better in myself. 

Gentle non threatening hugs to all.

Oatie

PS I have arranged a nice dance session for the boys tomorrow morning..1st time we've done it so I will let you know how that pans out.

Trains, are a thing I can do much more since I ahve foxy to focus on and people are so busy being cute about her the scarey butch *** attached is not such an issue these days, how funny it is to me that peoles perseption of me has changed acording to the dog I have. What a pair we will make if she has a split skull and makes like a staffy more than a colllie in her mature state, we have no idea how she is going to shape up and I have noticed her eyes have popped out a bit again so her head is going to grow some more very soon. My brother in laws staffy all of a sudden looks like two breeze block slapped together and an air craft carrier for a back.

The porrage sound a great idea, how long do you soak it for I have a lot in the cupboard from the last buy one get two free deal at shopping. I would add gravey granuals to the water to soak, how much of each ? water to porridge ?

Foxy's new adventure was to get put in the deep water and swim, proper swim, my parner did the deed, I thought ther would be a dissapproval for days but quite the reverse she is looking at every spot to go in and refering to me to see if itmis an ok spot. Mind you she wanted to back up when i pulled on the harness on a bridge to draw her tp me away from passing people, i an in no doubt that she  thougt that going in off that particular bridge was not a good idea, so i drew her too me and gave her a real firm hug for a good while so she knew I shared the sentiment about the bridge.

We  were off out to do an errand yesterday in a big bit of rain drenched we were, the splashing water with the cars has always had her very wary, a past issue from before she came to us it is a real mark in her that I think will take a good while to change the imprint of; this had her backed out of her harness and free on a road with another puppy in the rain and cars swishing by, I did do the squeeky voice then and the firm unpannicked urgency had her drowned rat look slowly move towards me......."Don't reach too soon for the collar, don't move to fast....... slowly does it .. squeek squeek foxy, foxy good girl.............the slow firm grasp and the twist i put on the collar as she tried to back away again while I replaced the harness, PHEW, that was heart thumping. so I cuddled the damp soggy dog I love while I finished my yaking and we then resumed normal service with foxys bedraggled walk home.

Havw just broken up the indoor time with a firm massag for her and am off to make a coffee.

WB

Courage is the choice to do that which is not familliar with confidence and without fear, regardless of any knowledge or lack of it.