Recently diagnosed at 31

Hello. Welcome to your autistic community!

It’s perfectly natural to not know how to process the news, after all autistic identification is life changing. Be kind to yourself. I hope it is reassuring to know that many of us in this autistic community have felt the same way.

Below I have posted a link to a video about common reactions to autistic discovery- hopefully these may resonate with you:

https://www.youtube.com/live/oo34mppLMqE?feature=share

Also the autistic led education platform Aucademy is absolutely brilliant and should definitely help you on your autistic discovery journey:

https://aucademy.co.uk/

https://aucademy.co.uk/starting-your-autistic-discovery-journey/

https://youtube.com/@aucademy6195

I hope you enjoy being part of this autistic community, you can learn so much just by sharing experiences with each other. We are here for you.

Hi i am 32 and was diagnosed yesterday with asd after 20 years on not understnading why i act and feel like this

A week is an incredibly short amount of time. Mine has been two years and I'm still getting there. You don't need to be in a hurry to tell anyone. I think it's better to understand what it means for yourself first and the difficulties you face, before you tell others. Unless they are autistic themselves it's hard to understand. 

You are welcome. .. there is some good feedback in the replies also.

I guess the main point is that we all struggle with this.  Learning we are autistic forces us to try and rebuild how we interact with people, with the confounding factor that we cannot see the feedback from them in their expressions.  

I hope you have people in your life who are understanding and willing to help.

Thank you Tina. 

Very sound advice. I know there isn’t a rule for this, but I really wish there was!

I learn best mostly through reading, but I’m also a very visual learner too. 

I originally sort out a diagnosis for ADHD (I may have both), but the psychiatrist said my history was more inline with autism, so we went ahead with that assessment. I have been quietly aware of autistic traits for several months now, so it’s not a complete surprise 

Yes, I do feel I need space and time to process. I also definitely process things by learning more about them so I can be more compassionate towards myself 

Thank you for the book recommendations. It’s also comforting to hear that I’m not alone in my experience of looking back and analysing. I will check out the newly diagnosed tag as well

Thank you for sharing that link. It’s a great starting point in terms of finding ways to offer insight into what situations can feel like

Welcome to the club. Take your time and tell people when you feel able to, there's no rush everything happens in your own time when you feel ready.

What learning style suits you - reading, watching, listening? There are many recommendations to be made but I've learned it's best to start with understanding your way of taking in information to avoid wasting time and energy trying to learn about something the way that doesn't suit you, e.g. recommending books when you don't take in information best from reading just adds to the overwhelm. 

I'm sorry your diagnosis wasn't handled sensitively. Remember that you have always been who you are, it's just it's been given a label now and it's your choice now how to proceed with that. 

Sakura said:

I’m struggling to know how to process, integrate and understand the news

This is autism. Processing information and understanding information/input is exactly what lived experience of autism is. The struggle is part of being autistic. Processing takes time. Allow yourself to feel the feelings without judgement. The needing to know is autistic. There isn't a rule for how you get from hearing a diagnosis to understanding and accepting it. Also, you seem to have got diagnosis without seeking it? Therefore maybe you were unprepared, which makes a big difference to how ready you are to take on this identity. 

Simply take your time. There’s a lot to think about, and much to process. Only when you feel at home with the idea should you consider telling others. Unless you want to get it out of the way? I just think you need time and space to think about what things you might want to do differently, and what things will help you day to day, once you know, you can share with others.

My diagnosis came in March 22, and I’m still learning about myself. And I thought I knew myself inside out at the time of assessment,…

Unfortunately, this is the usual state of affairs. It will get easier with time. The first months or even year or two after diagnosis can be a challenging time of reassessing your entire life and personal history in the light of the diagnosis. Hang on in there, it does get easier.

I would use the "newly diagnosed" tag here to read other people's experiences. I'm currently reading An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis by Gillan Drew which has some helpful points for me even two years after diagnosis. I think it explicitly deals with who to tell and how to tell them. The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood is also useful for general information that will help you understand yourself better.

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/31827/how-to-explain-how-i-feels-to-a-neuro-typical-person

maybe it will be of some help.

Hi and welcome.

First, your reaction yo the news is the same as many of us.  I am working my way through it at the moment.  

I have a thread on this site where i try to describe what it is like to be autistic. I will try and find a link.

I felt lost when it came to how i am supposed to interact with people ... and i guess i still do. I am, however, getting more comfortable with it, and better able to understand why i struggle.