Adult Diagnosis - Embarressed

Goatworshiper, if you are like me, you will probably want to write down an explanation of why you think you should be assessed for Asperger Syndrome.  I know that when put on the spot in a conversation I have a hard time articulating all of my symptoms.  However, when I have taken time to think it through carfully, I can write about it easily. (Of course I use spell check!)

Hopefully you have already seen this information:
http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-information-for-adults/how-do-i-get-a-diagnosis.aspx  

In the back of my mind I've probably been Doctor dodging for a while. However tonight in my GCSE English class we were presented with a speaking and listening task were we had to explore the complex emotions and relationships of a character (from any book/piece of we we had done previously) in a drama style. I was absolutely mortified, but I give it a go and I just died on my A**E. I really really tried and I actually think the tutor now thinks something is up (so far Ive had 4 A* from 4 tasks). She was asking if I was ok etc, and I just said to her it was a me problems and I just struggle expressing emotion, I just feel uncorftable. I feel emotions but just cant express them.

Anyway, it just confirmed in my own head that I need to go to the GP's.

Compliments are part of social interchange, and while a compliment is spoken it is usually rewarded by a non-verbal reaction, even if words are used to reinforce this.

My theory is that it is difficult for people with AS because they are not generating or receiving the right non-verbal confirmation, and they are not generating the supporting emoticon gestures that convey whether they are being genuine or sarcastic, or homouring, or seeking a favour in return.

Because of this lack of interchange people on the spectrum are very insecure about such gestures, have no way of knowing if they are apt, and often get in trouble for using them wrongly.

After much criticism from work colleagues I started finding out and learning the right things to say and the right times and the right reactions. After diagnosis I worked harder at this. It is, to use a metaphor "hit and miss". I do get it wrong a lot and still get criticised. But it has improved my social competence and self confidence, so I think it is worth trying.

But it is for me one of the clearest proofs I have of the difficulties created by AS, I still have extreme difficulty and extreme discomfort over these things.

I don't think clinicians are sufficiently aware of this aspect of AS, one of the reasons why they misunderstand empathy as a diagnostic tool. It is not that we lack empathy, but we don't get the feedback and find it difficult to do the right thing on cue..

I've just read something that Longman put on another thread about compliments.

I just can't for the life of me compliment other people or recieve it. Really frustrating when it comes to romance. Thankfully I've got a really understanding girlfriend, although this has caused problems in the past. She understands I dont compliment anyone at all, full stop.

I struggle to be creative too. I know deep down I have really limited creative expression. Its quite strange when you read about other people and see yourself.

I do feel like an encylopedia of useless information. I actually try not to get too deeply involved in things, but its really difficult. I like to go to the n'th degree, Im a bit of a perfectionist. With a discographical information I find it really easy to link it to a year or a label so it fits in a web. I also find it easy to link it to the artwork (pictures).

I have got really poor short term memory. So if someone puts a peice of data in front of me, intaking it takes an age and I can't instantly recall it. But my long term memory is really good, I remember people from way back when and situations regarding them. Im really good with routes too when travelling, but not until I've done the journey a few times. But 5 years down the line I'll remember it.

I've not considered dyspraxia. I dont know much about it.

I probably should mention my cousins child has high functioning autism, and his grand ma has learning difficulties but I dont know what they are.

The problem with adult dyslexia, to the best of my understanding, is that it hinges around short-term memory. Whereas at school/college you are cmopeting to complete tests and assignments, your written and read cohesion is under close scrutiny. Away from education, there are less demands on this cohesion, and with access to spell-checkers you can get round it, and being able to anticipate problems like contrast. What tends to show in adults is the underlying difficulty, both reading and writing as well as speaking, is being able to keep a reference to where you started several sentences down line, and also remembering all of detailed instruction.

Aspergers should ensure that you have good memory, and is an important distinction compared to dyspraxia. However it is not so clear what happens if you have comorbid aspergers and dyslexia.

Your very detailed recall of discography suggests an asperger only type memory. I baffle people by the sheer amount of information I can carry and sift in my head, so I can expound on things in very great detail. Dyslexia ought to make that difficult because you would be likely to lose track.

However things don't always work out as splendidly for me because background noise, and too much sensory information, and getting tired, and that cohesion goes to rack and ruin.

Its all very difficult to try to explain things from inside the problem, no wonder the clinicians cannot understand it from outside.

I get most banter to be honest, its just takes an age to process. It could be football, a general joke etc. Maybe a minute or two to understand. I used to just laugh if other people did and think about it all day, until I figured it out.

Not speciffically banter related, but i feel this is a good example. If someone pronounces a word differently I dont understand it. It took me years to grasp the word hypothesis pronounced hypo-thesis & hypothe-sis meant the same thing.

Ive havnt had any help with my dyslexia, I'll look up the dyslexia institute. When I got diagnosed I only had one month to go at uni, and ive not been in a situation were Ive been streched beyond my limits for a while.

Ive been reading lot of books, It does help a lot. I read a lot on Music and really enjoy Richard Dawkins too.

Ive never had people make fun of my spelling, but my mum/dad and teachers could never understand why my spelling was way behind my abillity level. It was presumed I was lazy and my mum was constantly on my back about it. She didnt understand I couldnt follow a book. Thankfully reading as got easier.

Thanks again David.

Goatworshiper:

Have you tried to get help with your Dyslexia?

(I know you said in your above E Mail that you are going to your GP)

You could try the Dyslexia Institute?

She said she could not help me as I am not Dyslexic and all my problems could be attributed to Asperger Syndrome.

You could help yourself by reading good books playing scrabble and doing cross words.

David

What sort of Banter do you get?

Do people tease you about your spelling?

When I was a child I wrote a letter to my Great Aunt in Vienna Austria?

My Grand Father said if we send it she would show it to a three or four people and laugh at my spelling.

I knew my Great Aunt and she would never do that although her English was quite good considering her mother tounge was German.   My Mother said that she would not laugh at my spelling but others might.  My Great Aunt spent about ten years in England during the late thirties and to after world war 2 so her English was old fashioned in her letters to me. 

(Both my Great Aunt and Grand Father are long since dead.)

I expect many foreigners  who have only learned English at school know how to spell English words better than many native English people especially if they do not have Dyslexia.

David

Longman; The banter is usually friendly and I understand it, just takes an age for me to process it. What you are saying makes sense in line with my dyslexia. I feels a bit like being tongue tied but mentally. Actually I do get tongue tied aswell. My mum reckons I had a speach problems as a child were the professionals claimed my mind though faster than I could respond, personally I think its more likely the opposite.

I probably should expand on the musical obsession, Im extract information such as year of release, record label etc. I work in a music dept and even the people there think It the way I remember discographical information as a bit unusual.

Im going to go to the GP's in the next few weeks. Ive got a bit on at the moment, were getting a boiler fitted, tyne-wear derby, dads birthday and a trip away. Hopefully mid march at latest.

Im going to have a good glance over the full website. I'll probably purchase some books at a later date. I've got a massive stack im trying to get through from xmas and im not the fastest.

David: thanks for sharing. Id imagine you have seen a big change in proffesional school of thought.

No I did not go to Eilliot House or Cambridge to be diagnosed it really happened by accident in answer to the question how I was diagnosed.

When I was nine in 1966 a Psychiatrist at the Maudsley wanted to send me to an Autistic School.

I had attended the Maudsley School for three weeks before the Psychiatrist made that suggestion.

My Mother did not send me to an Autistic School as she did not believe that I was Autistic.  I was happy at the local state primiary school I went to.

I was uuhappy at the Private Grammar Schools I went to.

When I was nineteen a Psychiatrist said I had mild Autism when he did a home visit.

His successor said I was not Autistic.

  My father asked  in family therapy in 1990  if I had been more strictly brought up whether I would have turned out better.   The family therapist said that it has nothing to do with up bringing but Asperger Syndrome the way I behave.

I was not even in the room and was not told straight away.

After that we believed that I was Autistic as it was explained that I had Asperger Syndrome a kind of high functioning Autism.

In 2009 I asked my GP who said officially that I had Asperger Syndrome when I was seeing him about something else.  The GP said that the only thing about Autism is the remark about mild Autism in 1976 which is the equivalent today of Asperger Syndrome.  That means that the family therapist used that remark about mild Autism.

I have never being officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.

I saw Dr.Howling as her patient in the early 1990s and she recently agreed that I can say it was she who     diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome.  I was in contact with her.

She assures me that there is no doubt about my diagnoses irrespective of what happened a long time ago.  In case you do not know Dr.Howling is professor and a Psychologist and expert on Asperger Syndrome.

I have recently done an interview on being Autistic for the fiftieth aniversary of the National Autistic Society.

David

Fitting in at work can be immensely difficult if you don't understand unspoken codes and gestures, which include being able to read information rendered more accessible by having eye contact and you are not able to produce this kind of information.

I've discussed these things with people who are dyslexic, and some AS problems are similar for dyslexia. That does set me wondering though if some people diagnosed with dyslexia have comorbid autism or aspergers (because certainly a lot of people on the autistic spectrum have dyslexia as well). However I've also found common ground with people with dyslexia who are sure they do not have aspergers.

Not being able to follow the threads of conversations, and therefore not able to understand jokes or tell whether it is banter or malice apparently affects people with dyslexia partly because of short term memory, and partly because they too have hearing behaviours that prevent them getting all the picture. These hearing behaviours may arise because they are diverting their attention to catching up. But yes it could also signify autistic spectrum

So don't necessarily assume aspergers or autism. Musical obsession could be musical obsession - a factor in many marriage break ups.

The eye contact issue is the observation that you make which stands out. But you need to get the right advice, and embarrassing as it may feel I think you have to take the next step. See your GP and ask to be assessed. And make use of this website, and perhaps get one of the books recommended.

Good Luck

Hi thanks for the reply David. I find spelling to be an absolute nightmare, I can just about manage to get things about right if I re-read things about six times and use a word processor. Im good with reading in terms that I understand whats happening but I miss the subilties unless I reread lots, but my reading speed is incredibly slow. At school I managed to pass GCSE Eng Lit, but not regular English (Im re-doing it now).

How did you find the process of getting diagnossed with Asperger Syndrome? Im a bit anxious about attempting it, but I feel that If I got diagnosed (if it is indeed whats happening I could be wrong) twould help. When I realised I was dyslexic I felt hugely releived after a few weeks of being hard on myself. It felt as though I understood my personallity and capabilities a lot better.

Dyslexia and Asperger Syndrome are both classed as Developmental Disorders and are often Co-Exisiting conditions.  Many people with those conditions prefer to call them both Neuro Diverse Conditions.

I was a few years ago told by the Dyslexia Institute but I do not have Dyslexia and my problems can be explained by Asperger Syndrome.  This makes me the opposite to you as I am not considered Dyslexic although I had difficulties in that area.

I did get six O Levels and Six O Levels but I never obtained English O Level.

I also had great trouble learning to read as a small child but my Mother helped me.

I can read now but I still have trouble spelling although I am nearly fifty-five years old.

David