Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
I get most banter to be honest, its just takes an age to process. It could be football, a general joke etc. Maybe a minute or two to understand. I used to just laugh if other people did and think about it all day, until I figured it out.
Not speciffically banter related, but i feel this is a good example. If someone pronounces a word differently I dont understand it. It took me years to grasp the word hypothesis pronounced hypo-thesis & hypothe-sis meant the same thing.
Ive havnt had any help with my dyslexia, I'll look up the dyslexia institute. When I got diagnosed I only had one month to go at uni, and ive not been in a situation were Ive been streched beyond my limits for a while.
Ive been reading lot of books, It does help a lot. I read a lot on Music and really enjoy Richard Dawkins too.
Ive never had people make fun of my spelling, but my mum/dad and teachers could never understand why my spelling was way behind my abillity level. It was presumed I was lazy and my mum was constantly on my back about it. She didnt understand I couldnt follow a book. Thankfully reading as got easier.
Thanks again David.