Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
I do feel like an encylopedia of useless information. I actually try not to get too deeply involved in things, but its really difficult. I like to go to the n'th degree, Im a bit of a perfectionist. With a discographical information I find it really easy to link it to a year or a label so it fits in a web. I also find it easy to link it to the artwork (pictures).
I have got really poor short term memory. So if someone puts a peice of data in front of me, intaking it takes an age and I can't instantly recall it. But my long term memory is really good, I remember people from way back when and situations regarding them. Im really good with routes too when travelling, but not until I've done the journey a few times. But 5 years down the line I'll remember it.
I've not considered dyspraxia. I dont know much about it.
I probably should mention my cousins child has high functioning autism, and his grand ma has learning difficulties but I dont know what they are.