Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
The problem with adult dyslexia, to the best of my understanding, is that it hinges around short-term memory. Whereas at school/college you are cmopeting to complete tests and assignments, your written and read cohesion is under close scrutiny. Away from education, there are less demands on this cohesion, and with access to spell-checkers you can get round it, and being able to anticipate problems like contrast. What tends to show in adults is the underlying difficulty, both reading and writing as well as speaking, is being able to keep a reference to where you started several sentences down line, and also remembering all of detailed instruction.
Aspergers should ensure that you have good memory, and is an important distinction compared to dyspraxia. However it is not so clear what happens if you have comorbid aspergers and dyslexia.
Your very detailed recall of discography suggests an asperger only type memory. I baffle people by the sheer amount of information I can carry and sift in my head, so I can expound on things in very great detail. Dyslexia ought to make that difficult because you would be likely to lose track.
However things don't always work out as splendidly for me because background noise, and too much sensory information, and getting tired, and that cohesion goes to rack and ruin.
Its all very difficult to try to explain things from inside the problem, no wonder the clinicians cannot understand it from outside.