Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I'am a 29 year old male, I think im on the AS somewere but undiagnossed. I got diagnossed with dyslexia at age 24. I feel down about it tbh, I just cant doo other humans or small talk or backstabbing in the workplace. I get incredibly frustrated at work and Im always fearfull I let what I think of people out as in the past I called someone a corrupt c**t and got sacked. I think Im really tolerant but when someone winds me up I just cant bite my tongue. I feel quite misanthropic in outlook basically.
In my opinion im of average intelligence. I've been completely addicted to listening to music since I was about 12. I literally own thousands of records and when I was younger I seriously couldnt concentrate on anything other than whatever song I was addicted too. At one point I was a apprentice engineer but just couldnt concentrate on anything other than music, I got through my apprenticeship but couldnt stand the working envirmonment. However I cant play an instrument as I cant really keep it co-ordinated.
I feel as though im always the last one to understand a joke. My repsonses to stimuli are really poor (slow). I feel that I cant express myself at all. I cant write emotion messages on cards, participate in drama. I cant have a phonecall in the respect that I cant gauge when to come in.
I have a 2.1 BSc (hons) degree in music tech (engineering side) which in my final year I drove 85miles each way everyday to attend. Which I think represents me, complete commitment if Im into something, but doing it alone. The 85 mile drive was ace as I didnt have to small talk. I can completly amuse myself and hate new social situations
The only person I can look in the eyes of is my partner of 12 years. I hate it when people at work try to get eyecontact.
So after that massively long blurb........................................Does any one behave similar? I feel embarressed about going to see the GP, I dont like the whole why do you want I diagnosis thing. It would make me feel like an attention seeker. Has anyone been through this kind of thing?
No I did not go to Eilliot House or Cambridge to be diagnosed it really happened by accident in answer to the question how I was diagnosed.
When I was nine in 1966 a Psychiatrist at the Maudsley wanted to send me to an Autistic School.
I had attended the Maudsley School for three weeks before the Psychiatrist made that suggestion.
My Mother did not send me to an Autistic School as she did not believe that I was Autistic. I was happy at the local state primiary school I went to.
I was uuhappy at the Private Grammar Schools I went to.
When I was nineteen a Psychiatrist said I had mild Autism when he did a home visit.
His successor said I was not Autistic.
My father asked in family therapy in 1990 if I had been more strictly brought up whether I would have turned out better. The family therapist said that it has nothing to do with up bringing but Asperger Syndrome the way I behave.
I was not even in the room and was not told straight away.
After that we believed that I was Autistic as it was explained that I had Asperger Syndrome a kind of high functioning Autism.
In 2009 I asked my GP who said officially that I had Asperger Syndrome when I was seeing him about something else. The GP said that the only thing about Autism is the remark about mild Autism in 1976 which is the equivalent today of Asperger Syndrome. That means that the family therapist used that remark about mild Autism.
I have never being officially diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.
I saw Dr.Howling as her patient in the early 1990s and she recently agreed that I can say it was she who diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome. I was in contact with her.
She assures me that there is no doubt about my diagnoses irrespective of what happened a long time ago. In case you do not know Dr.Howling is professor and a Psychologist and expert on Asperger Syndrome.
I have recently done an interview on being Autistic for the fiftieth aniversary of the National Autistic Society.
David