Connectivity with others

This is a good question!

In some ways the Internet has connected people better - e.g. with people you don't see often or wouldn't otherwise meet. Or for people who are housebound etc. It is great for sharing information - such as medical diagnosis and research etc. - to make connections that otherwise would never been found.

In others - primarily via social media - the Internet has created so much false information and toxicity. Too many humans only see the world through a screen now instead of experiencing life for real. Kids seem to spend their childhood staring at screens instead of going outside and playing. Or people feel obliged to present a fake version of themselves to compete with others. Some so desperate, they sell their soul for their 15 minutes of fame. 

It's a shame we cannot find a balance.

I thought that was what you were getting at.

In my opinion then: the internet has been a net negative in terms of it's effects on the world.

Red82 (Formerly Mellowjian) said:

I agree that the internet has been a net negative in terms of its effects on the world.

I personally didn't say that although others here might.

I think that would need another discussion and I think I'd find it difficult to come to a conclusion.

There are so many aspects of the internet that I love - it is the fount of knowledge.

This is a similar but different thread.

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/30113/what-era-would-you-like-to-live-in-and-why/268758#268758

I agree that the internet has been a net negative in terms of its effects on the world. Alas, we cannot go back. And the old world had many weaknesses also.

I am going to use the strengths of the internet to try and turn the world around.  If we don't use the internet to turn the world in a positive direction then I fear for the future of humanity.

The internet can hand even the most isolated  people  real power.

I don't know which I prefer, I think it's age dependent, I've never had a smart phone or FB and stuff so I've never experienced the "need" to check my phone all the time, on the odd occaision when I am out with people I do find it off putting when people are checking thier phones all the time, it's like I'm not good enough company. I don't miss being the odd one out, I remember the excrutiating teenage years of constant social anxiety about who I was going to go out with, would the boy I liked like me.

I'm just glad I'm out of all of that now, I have done online dating, it's a very mixed bag, one the one hand you can find out pretty quickly how much in common you have with somebody, but there's always the temptation to keep looking. I think the dating thing is overblown and Americanised, we never did dates when I was young, there was just a group of us who hung out together and couples would be formed from friends and friends of friends. I don't like this list culture that seems to have grown up around finding a partner, it's not like going to a supermarket to buy a lettuce, I miss finding people that I just get on with. But then maybe I've become more closed over the years?

I think the idea of the internet is great, but the reality less so, it seems to sell itself on false promises, you can get anythig from anywhere iin the world! As long as it's the same narrow range of products and so much stuff is behind paywalls that for me negates a lot of the point of having free and easy access to a world full of information, along with people being able to buy their way to the top of search engines. In reality can anyone be bothered to look through millions of entries that come up with a simple search? Most of them seem to be the same things in different forms anyway.

There are some things I like and some I definately don't, I love my kindle, but I liked it even more when library services were properly funded. It's great being able to see if something you want is in stock, but there seems to be an assumption of internet shopping over physical stores where you can browse and try stuff on before you buy it. Being someone who can be surrounded by every pair of shoes in my size that a shop has and finding none of them fit puts me off of buying online, aas I don't have the hundreds of pounds of upfront money to purchase 6 or 8 pairs of shoes in the hope that one of them will fit makes ease of sending them back a bit pointless.

I remember a time when I hung out with friends, and although we were all the awkward oddballs, creative, intelligent, introverted type, we always had interesting and weird conversations.

And then a decade later, the era of smart phones emerged, and when I hung out the same group of friends, it was really hard to sit with them. Why? Because every 6 to 8 minutes, all of them will whip out their phones and check on them in synchronicity, leaving me to just sit there with nothing to do, before they all put down their phones again. After seeing these synchronized swimmers bob their phones and heads up and down for about an hour, I was exhausted. Having only a few minutes to chat before they stare down at their phones again was really weird. Why plan to see people face to face,  when all they're going to do is face their phones. What's the point? I don't get it. 

I mean at home I'll go online, but when I'm outside I'm not connected to the internet. I just have a simple cell phone with simple buttons and that's it. The older generation has lived far longer without having any of that. My old English teacher used to laugh and shake her head at cellphones. She would send letters, stating the time, date, and location to meet up, the other person agrees, and then they just meet up on that day and chat to each other. 

I enjoy the amount of interesting information I have access to online, but if I am seeing someone in person, that person comes first, not the phone I'm holding. I can always go online later. I don't know when I'll get another chance to see the person in front of me though.  

Mark (formerly Spikey) said:

I was better off seeing someone across the smokey room

Those were the days - coughs, rinses her eyes, washes her hair and clothes ... coughs again ...

Enduring the small talk and eye contact of other people. Nodding at times, smiling at times, giving it the whole act. Seems to be the way it's done. I observe it a lot and get away with it because I'm subtle and come across as the sort of person that people wouldn't want to be with in any way, shape or form anyway. Swearing a lot, usually after every other sentence or so seems to help with the bonding somehow - increasingly with both sexes of the most recent boomer generations (1960s and on). Descend to that level if need be. I personally don't. Just get by with 'cheers', 'yeah', 'thanks' - most of the time that's all you need. String a sentence together to frighten people off.

I can say a lot of negative and also some positive things about the internet and the current lifestyle. But one thing I owe to the internet is the fact that I found my husband. I’m terrible at flirting, I used to always misunderstand and misinterpret the signals from men potentially interested to be with me, and without the internet I couldn’t meet anyone. But there is also a lot of negative aspects, such as people sitting next to each other and spending time separately. Everyone glued to the tile with flashing screen. Recently I saw a young man with a toddler in a stroller, guess what the child had in her hands! Smartphone! And playing some games. I also saw a picture showing a fetus inside mother’a womb also with the mobile. That drawing was deep. It’s sad, how narcissistic currently young people are. I’m happy I grew up in 90’s and spend time on other activities. In fact not so much on the playground, but quite much outside with the nature or in my inner world with my projects.

I met my wife through friends of friends of friends. But I would not have had the ability to keep her if I'd not had practice with earlier relationships.

These were found while under the influence and everyone else being under the influence in various pubs or nightclubs. I think I would be at a disadvantage today with dating apps, where the date comes first - and you have to talk lots (not our best feature).

I was better off seeing someone across the smokey room, maybe getting a smile, maybe getting chatting that night, or maybe another night. But you could go back to your friends, have a break, and then bump into them again (maybe another night), In short, it was more organic and less forced. I could be wrong, but youngsters do not seem to go this route these days in the UK.

That's just dating though - I think that the internet is giving the great ability to make new friends. So maybe romance works the same way too these days.

Actually, that's a long winded way of saying that I don't really know...

It's definitely harder to make connections now I'm out of full time education, though I'm probably more likely to make deeper connections likely to last.

Though I know what I want and need a lot better now. It takes trial and error.