Autistic empathy

as you like, if investigation is not your thing.

I wasn't meaning to express contempt, it's just that things that others find cute, sweet or romantic give me the ick.

You may be expressing a concept that the show does not merit.

Why not investigate before expressing contempt?

I've not watched the video and I wouldn't be able to without having a bucket to puke into, I'm very empathetic, but I find romance weird, it maybe because of the way I was brought up. I'm not even sure I know what romance is, apart from something that makes me sick.

Uhane said:

In one scene where the young couple are on their dream trip to Africa, sitting side by each, looking out over the Savanna, the couple sing together a song from the lion king, the love between them at so tangible, it's transcendent. 

I watched all of these and was so touched by all of the individuals on there. Yes I watched that particular episode and thought what a special moment for them both. One of my favourite characters on there was Danni.

You have explained that so much better than I did. Thank you. It’s like you care so much on the inside but that doesn’t show on the outside to others. I always get told I have little emotion and come across as being cold when inside I’m sobbing. I try not to look at things that trigger those feelings when around others and it seems to keep me out of trouble. 

I love this video! Thank you for sharing!

When I feel sad for someone or some creature but there is nothing I can do to help, I bow my head down and with maybe some a bit sad, or I don’t know no expression nod mhm and say nothing. Sometimes I say “that’s bad” and that’s it. While inside I feel the pain of the situation someone described to me, from the outside (as I heard) it looks like I don’t care. So I come across as cold without empathy. But that’s exactly opposite. I feel terribly sad for victims of any sort of violence, wars, for abused animals, if there is a possibility to help somehow - I do it. But I really have no idea how to express to someone else, that I care. 

I too have extreme empathy which I have to keep it under control. This is so as not to come across as strange, I mean it’s not considered cool for a late 40 yr old guy to be in tears for very little. 
I find when others are upset, distressed or hurting sets me off. Also I feel great empathy when others are really deserving of something but don’t get what they deserve. It all comes out in the same way for me.

My wording was intentional with Empathy: a thing "can be" [viewed in such a way], but might also involve something else, it may be best to simply understand a thing for it to be  useful to the participant. 

Telepathy, Emotional Contagion, and so on. It's been studied in philosophy for centuries. Kant regarded Sympathy an act of Free Will, out of a choice of participating in Duty to an other rather than seeing how one 'feels' in order to respond, as Empathy was regarded subjected to the Passions. 

It is only strange if one is estranged from its understanding, as most might not recognise the validity in thoughtful consideration on how words are being used. But from Heidegger, Spinoza, Kant, to: 

As Jung said, "Empathy is an Aesthetic Experience as Objectified Self-Enjoyment." A Priori is delirium, rather than a mirror.

I might wish to encourage you to hunt down Erich Fromm. This is a complete list of his works https://fromm-online.org/werk/e-books/

He's an easier read than most, connecting past to present in such a way as to show the world at large is sick, unable to see beyond their illusions. Consumed with envy, exploited and exploiting, having too much but feeling empty, unable to sense purpose or light, subject to a collective which informs bias and reinforces a blindness. 

I like etymology too, but when talking of things in the here and now I use the words in their current meaning, not their historical one as others find it confusing. Language develops over time and I think unease has taken the place of disease when speaking of feelings rather than an illness.

I object to the use of words like disease and disorder in relation to autism and related conditions, because I think we are neither diseased or disordered, autism isn't contagious, there's no cure, and one is unlikely as autism isn't caused by a single gene as far as we know, or vacinations, it's simply a variant among many others. We might be seen to be chaotic as in disordered by some others, we may feel that of ourselves, like many people my desk is one of organised chaos, what might look to some like random bits of paper and stuff strewn about, is one where I know where everything is, I think many people are like this.

Most of all I just hate this idea that autistic people and those with related conditions are somehow less than human, that we're worth less than the NT's, I think many people with various conditions from wheel chair users to the partially sighted feel the same. It's invalidating, now theres a word you might want to explore and think about it's applications through time.

We talk about NT's being a majority, but are they really? They are the societal norm, but are they the neurological norm? The more we find out about brain function and development the less clear the terms ND and NT seem. Just like the way we find that genetics isn't as simple as we once thought, with multiple gene's involved in many things, and I suspect that that will be the case with ND and NT.

Oh yes, the empathy thing....sigh. There's this misconception that empathy is "do what I want without me telling you what I want, otherwise you have no empathy and you have a disorder".
No, that's not empathy we're talking about here. It's an example of a person with narcissistic personality disorder telling a lie about empathy.

Expertly expressed.

Bravo....and agreed.

I personally do not see my autism as a disease, I have no wish to be cured - though, as I am not diseased, the term 'cure' is inapplicable anyway. I function reasonably well, I have difficulties that allistic people do not have, but they have not stopped me from achieving the things I really wanted to achieve. I have placed myself in uncomfortable situations in order to achieve long-term goals. I consider that I am stronger than most allistic people precisely because I have repeatedly overcome difficulties that they could not even imagine existing. 

That’s interesting what you said. I respect what you said. But I was thinking does that tie into thinking literally? As NTs all the time make fun of each other but it’s just lighthearted and meant to be fun. But us autistic people can take it too seriously and get hurt by people taking the fun out of us. I used to have this problem with an NT person and they would take the p*ss out of me and I didnt get it and got offended by it they felt that they couldn’t say anything to me as I would get too offended. I now understand their sense of humour and am okay with them taking the p*ss out of me and vice versa. It’s all fun at the end of the day I do get it now after a long time. We have less arguments now which is good. 

Personally I seem to have extreme empathy in some forms. I cannot stand people being hurt (physically or emotionally). But I also struggle with understanding what people are feeling, which seems paradoxical, and when I cannot understand why someone would feel that way, then I don't feel anything.

I have a very strong sense of justice. Mundane things which neurotypicals enjoy and laugh at hurt me deeply and I struggle to understand these things and avoid them. I don't like any situations where people are being made fun of, mocked, or physically injured. I don't understand why it's funny or enjoyable to most people.

It's interesting to me because I'm obsessed with etymology. We've had the current meaning of "disease" for maybe 400 years, but it originally meant literally dis-ease (unease) or discomfort, inconvenience, distress, trouble. Which I think is how a lot of autistic people might feel. Whereas the modern meaning has a lot more connotations of illness.

"Disorder" historically meant to destroy the order of, or throw into confusion. That could also make sense maybe.

I wonder what is it about "disease" that you object to. I think to modern ears "disease" sounds negative, as a health problem, a thing to catch, a temporary illness, and a thing that can be cured. To many of us who are autistic, we can't change how our brains work, and we don't feel like there is anything wrong with us, it seems like everyone else has the problem. So "disease" is not accurate.

    It is just as expressive and validating as for the majority of otherwise-sly wired brains. It just presents in a different way. If anyone's seen "Love on the Spectrum" they will see this in action in many scenarios.

    In one scene where the young couple are on their dream trip to Africa, sitting side by each, looking out over the Savanna, the couple sing together a song from the lion king, the love between them at so tangible, it's transcendent. 

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UX6FiAujUJ0&ab_channel=BrianBaer

And I played poker once, lost very quickly, and went to play solitaire instead!