Eye Contact

Showery today, with scattered sunny spells... 

Seriously though - yes, walking away gets me into trouble as well. It's generally that I've seen something interesting... I'm afraid polite conversation is far less compelling..

7 % Non verbal ?
In that case us ASD'S must be a real head-scratcher for those trying to suss us out !

Me to Roy.
Unless it is important it goes in one ear and out the other.

I have clearly trained myself over decades to make eye contact (late diagnosis) due to societal expectations faced.

When drained of energy I find it harder, so clearly there is a cost to making eye contact.

You are right, I handed my social cub membership back, just don’t need it anymore. One thing I do get berated for is walking away from people while they are talking to me, I often say, “I am listening, “ they just don’t realise my brain is also doing more interesting things. I find the low point of any conversation is when someone wants to discuss the weather, I start wanting to stick my fingers in my eyes! I suppose putting my fingers in my ears would be a better option.

I get you, it makes sense because humans do communicate with eye contact, unspoken communication. 

I remember being surprised to learn - at some work-related training event or other - that only a small part of communication between people comes from the actual words spoken...

It's allegedly only 7%, all the rest is non-verbal..

For NT's... I don't know, but maybe not the same for ND people, who can be quite literal. 

Interesting.

This might sound weird but i avoid eye contact because i feel other People
can look into my Eyes and read my thoughts, bearing in mind the Eyes are the window to the soul.
Crazy yes, but the feelings are real.

Yes, it does seem frequently to be a measure of trustworthiness in the court of social opinion..

That was quite verbose... sorry!

But yeah. I've found people assume I'm untrustworthy- at least - if I don't make sufficient eye contact...

Seems bonkers to me, but hey, what do I know... not being part of the human social club is a constant mystery..

Yes, I also do this, a second it all I can do - probably not even that long! 

It's not easy...

I’ve had a problem with eye contact since I was a child, I can remember my father telling me off, “people who don’t make eye contact are not trustworthy.” How wrong that was. The usual was teachers, “ look at me when I’m talking to you!” Makes me actually chuckle now, it’s just ignorance.

I was flagged as a spammer because I responded "wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

That was a long Wiiiiiiiii  you had 

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

  First prize goes to you then by default.

I could suggest a "bad jokes" competition. With my terrible English, I could have a great advantage

Don't get me started on jokes..I am notorious on here for it ! lol

Some of us, the human, have two balls in the face called "eyes" which sometimes are used to make... eye contact (I can do worse jokes too ).

Not, really, according to Matt Haig, humans "wear clothes" and that's very important

I always try to avoid eye contact.
I dont't even actually know what a Human looks like !

I do exactly that when I have to speak in English (my second language) by videoconference. Looking at the mouth provides lots of information. It's really true that

I don't understand what is the need to make eye contact. Why do it? Why, as autistic, do we have to force ourselves to do something uncomfortable for us? Why does it need to cause a behavioural change? What is the problem of avoiding eye contact?

I forced eye contact when I was younger because I felt obligated to do it. I just opened my eyes a lot and blocked my visual field (as if I were myopic). I would never go back to forcing eye contact any more. The headache after that is terrible!

Nowadays, the only case in which I force eye contact and know how to do it is when my life is at risk. I live in a dangerous place, so if someone wants to steal from me or harm me, I just put on my best psychopath face and mask as the best actress interpreting a serial killer role. It's like playing a role game. I look into their eyes and start to fight. But I finish exhausted when I do it.

And the exception where I can naturally make eye contact is with people I feel comfortable with, and I like to, but I can't do it all the time. If I enjoy looking at them, I do it. For example, yesterday, I had been speaking with a colleague who lost his wife a month ago due to a heart arrest. I made eye contact while explaining that it was expected to be sad because I wanted to convey my compassion to him, but when he desired to cry, I needed to look aside. He didn't take offence because he knows eye contact is a big challenge for me.

Just look at where you feel comfy.