Published on 12, July, 2020
Following a recent discussion I note that some people say they have learnt how to do eye contact. My question is how do you do it?
I have been asked if I am listening as the only way I can consciously try is by looking to the side of someone or looking at a nose or tie. If I look towards someone's eyes I feel like I am staring so then look away.
I’ve had a problem with eye contact since I was a child, I can remember my father telling me off, “people who don’t make eye contact are not trustworthy.” How wrong that was. The usual was teachers, “ look at me when I’m talking to you!” Makes me actually chuckle now, it’s just ignorance.
Yes, it does seem frequently to be a measure of trustworthiness in the court of social opinion..
That was quite verbose... sorry!
But yeah. I've found people assume I'm untrustworthy- at least - if I don't make sufficient eye contact...
Seems bonkers to me, but hey, what do I know... not being part of the human social club is a constant mystery..
You are right, I handed my social cub membership back, just don’t need it anymore. One thing I do get berated for is walking away from people while they are talking to me, I often say, “I am listening, “ they just don’t realise my brain is also doing more interesting things. I find the low point of any conversation is when someone wants to discuss the weather, I start wanting to stick my fingers in my eyes! I suppose putting my fingers in my ears would be a better option.
Mutual rapport between you both.No words needed.
It’s why I get on with my dog so well, I normally know what he wants and he never talks.
Showery today, with scattered sunny spells...
Seriously though - yes, walking away gets me into trouble as well. It's generally that I've seen something interesting... I'm afraid polite conversation is far less compelling..
Me to Roy.Unless it is important it goes in one ear and out the other.