Published on 12, July, 2020
Following a recent discussion I note that some people say they have learnt how to do eye contact. My question is how do you do it?
I have been asked if I am listening as the only way I can consciously try is by looking to the side of someone or looking at a nose or tie. If I look towards someone's eyes I feel like I am staring so then look away.
I don't understand what is the need to make eye contact. Why do it? Why, as autistic, do we have to force ourselves to do something uncomfortable for us? Why does it need to cause a behavioural change? What is the problem of avoiding eye contact?I forced eye contact when I was younger because I felt obligated to do it. I just opened my eyes a lot and blocked my visual field (as if I were myopic). I would never go back to forcing eye contact any more. The headache after that is terrible!Nowadays, the only case in which I force eye contact and know how to do it is when my life is at risk. I live in a dangerous place, so if someone wants to steal from me or harm me, I just put on my best psychopath face and mask as the best actress interpreting a serial killer role. It's like playing a role game. I look into their eyes and start to fight. But I finish exhausted when I do it. And the exception where I can naturally make eye contact is with people I feel comfortable with, and I like to, but I can't do it all the time. If I enjoy looking at them, I do it. For example, yesterday, I had been speaking with a colleague who lost his wife a month ago due to a heart arrest. I made eye contact while explaining that it was expected to be sad because I wanted to convey my compassion to him, but when he desired to cry, I needed to look aside. He didn't take offence because he knows eye contact is a big challenge for me.Just look at where you feel comfy.
I always try to avoid eye contact.I dont't even actually know what a Human looks like !
Some of us, the human, have two balls in the face called "eyes" which sometimes are used to make... eye contact (I can do worse jokes too ).
Not, really, according to Matt Haig, humans "wear clothes" and that's very important
Sorry.If you gotta go, you gotta go.
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