Eye Contact

Following a recent discussion I note that some people say they have learnt how to do eye contact. My question is how do you do it?

I have been asked if I am listening as the only way I can consciously try is by looking to the side of someone or looking at a nose or tie. If I look towards someone's eyes I feel like I am staring so then look away.

Parents
  • I’ve had a problem with eye contact since I was a child, I can remember my father telling me off, “people who don’t make eye contact are not trustworthy.” How wrong that was. The usual was teachers, “ look at me when I’m talking to you!” Makes me actually chuckle now, it’s just ignorance.

  • Yes, it does seem frequently to be a measure of trustworthiness in the court of social opinion..

    That was quite verbose... sorry! Joy

    But yeah. I've found people assume I'm untrustworthy- at least - if I don't make sufficient eye contact...

    Seems bonkers to me, but hey, what do I know... not being part of the human social club is a constant mystery..

  • This might sound weird but i avoid eye contact because i feel other People
    can look into my Eyes and read my thoughts, bearing in mind the Eyes are the window to the soul.
    Crazy yes, but the feelings are real.

Reply Children
  • 7 % Non verbal ?
    In that case us ASD'S must be a real head-scratcher for those trying to suss us out !

  • I get you, it makes sense because humans do communicate with eye contact, unspoken communication. 

    I remember being surprised to learn - at some work-related training event or other - that only a small part of communication between people comes from the actual words spoken...

    It's allegedly only 7%, all the rest is non-verbal..

    For NT's... I don't know, but maybe not the same for ND people, who can be quite literal. 

    Interesting.