Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm generally pretty decent at my job wherever I work, but there is an aspect of work that always causes me issues.
I pick up on details that people often miss or choose to ignore, in particular when policies are not being followed, which in my job can put people at risk.
When I communicate this to management I am seen as being, "difficult," "abrupt," or "rude," but no-one can ever seem to tell me what I said that was actually rude, as opposed to being not what they wanted to hear, as it causes problems for them to have to solve.
This has been something I have faced for some while in a variety of workplaces.
I wish I could just ignore what I notice, but I literally feel compelled to identify issues once I see them, especially as they could endanger people.
policies exist for the benefit of company & not its workers. HR are not there to support you but to manage people from not going to the authorities for negligence or malpractice.
Autistic individuals are going to have a hard time navigating conflict at work, most of us lack the basic skills to navigate work based conflict and are more likely forced into a role of being the scapegoat or perpetrator because we can't play the mental gymnastic everyone else seems to play.
No one like being told they are wrong or not doing their job properly, least of all by people they might see as subordinates. When this happens the defences mechanism is to turn an issue back on the person. In this case you and the “issue” invalidated.
If you said something like “is there likely to be an audit/check of X policy anytime soon? I just want to be sure I’m getting it right and it might benefit the other guys too!” That way you have told the manager to look at policy compliance, focused it on your personal development and also appear as a team player by mentioning others. This then allows the manager to investigate in his/her own time, discover the issues and look like a hero (ego massaged) If they choose not to, then you have highlighted it in a diplomatic way.
I have to say I am a complete hypocrite though. I know hw to do this in principle, but could never master it in reality, so I don’t work in corporate land anymore.
Hello again. Your original post is troubling me a bit and you shouldn't be having to experience these issues. I'll try to word everything as appropriately as I can - nothing being said is a criticism and I am coming at this from a point of thinking that I have experienced similar to you and that maybe by relating my experiences, I can help you in your situation.
First of all, if there are H&S issues, there has to be a process for raising them and for someone doing appropriate follow-up. Is that the case? And, what is causing you to raise issues and how are you doing it? (I'm not inferring that you shouldn't, just trying to understand).
If you are following the process, why is this causing an issue?
You said "I am seen as being, "difficult," "abrupt," or "rude," but no-one can ever seem to tell me what I said that was actually rude". I have been through this many times - I've worked as an IT Contractor for many years and I can be very direct without meaning to be and I think it can come across as abrupt or rude. I've worked on projects where people have complained about me (doesn't make them right and me wrong, but does show that they're upset enough to complain) and I've "broken" a few senior managers over the years, plus caused some tears - but never meant to.
It's hard to be yourself and be being kind and thoughtful and trying to help people and just get through the regular social contact that can cause you stress and/or discomfort, but have people turning on you, or going out of their way to make things difficult for you because of some perceived issue from their side. I've had people be really nasty and I've still helped them out with work, only to have them try to cause more issues. And, I can't say that I understand fully where I go wrong. Maybe it's because I show things on my face that I shouldn't. Maybe it's because I'm not always great with eye contact. Maybe it's because I'm honest to a fault and probably it's because when I think I am being honest and friendly, I am being too honest and direct and not understanding the impact of what I just said (or I realise and understand it later when it is too late). I could go on.
Either way, I know that people often find me direct (rude?) and I know what people see on my face may not be in alignment with what I am thinking or I am showing on my face what they shouldn't know I am thinking. It all makes interactions difficult at times and sometimes leads to conflict. The best relationships I have are with the people that can see past that.
I used to work in a police force (in IT) and had so many complaints about me, but when I'd ask for the detail, the senior managers would say "I'll tell you later", or "I'm not sure of the detail". I think a lot of it was how I was coming across and/or that I was holding people to account (I was a Project Manager at the time). Same as you though, no one could really say what I did wrong when it came down to discussing it. I've been told off for upsetting people on a few projects and am mortified and upset that I have done that, but then go on to do it again. Again though, there's no intention or malice from my side.
I think I am too direct. Although I also get told that I go into too much detail, so sometimes I just can't win.
But, and the point of telling you all this, is to ask you if you think you are too direct? Do you think that you are doing and saying the right thing (probably you are), but maybe the receiver is having an issue - possibly because of the way of saying it, or maybe they just don't want the hassle or feel that you are causing them an extra task over and above what they already have to do?
TLDR: I upset people too like you (*my interpretation of what you said about being difficult/abrupt/rude*) and like you find that there doesn't seem to be much substance or real validity behind their issue when it comes down to it. But the outcome is the same - do the right thing, but don't upset people in the process or rock the boat and put a target on your back.
The things I raised concerns about have been mostly found as valid in an investigation.
Yet to discover what my "punishment" will be for having raised them.
OAP - Older Autistic Person said:I pick up on details that people often miss or choose to ignore, in particular when policies are not being followed, which in my job can put people at risk. When I communicate this to management I am seen as being, "difficult," "abrupt," or "rude," but no-one can ever seem to tell me what I said that was actually rude, as opposed to being not what they wanted to hear, as it causes problems for them to have to solve.
It is pretty much a standard procedure thing ~ with people sometimes taking immense offence or others feeling incredibly embarrassed at being corrected or told they are breaking the rules, in that they treat such information as being either or both a moral judgement against their good character or an emotionally pointed or blunt attack upon themselves personally ~ rather than as just being a mellow observational pointer for improving ethical conduct and thereby social efficiency.
Waves of sadness today.
every place varies on how strict they apply their rules ---- u just follow everyone else
When we are in the office we should wear ID badges with a certain coloured lanyard, visitors get another colour so it's easy to spot them. Of course some permanent members have lanyards of different colours and don't get challenged by anyone, as you say its confusing.
Knowing when to follow rules and regulations at work and when to ignore them is one of my big weaknesses.
In 2018 I got a job as a support worker with a centre helping adults with multiple health problems and disabilities.
At the beginning I was given an employee's handbook with all the rules and regulations. One rule, written in bold letters and capitals, was that while working we must all wear our photo ID badges clearly visible. An explanation followed that this was that we could be identified as company employees by:
One my first day I asked my manager about my ID badge, or lack of it, I was told ' you'll get it eventually in a week or so '. Later I mentioned it to another senior worker and her reaction was as if I had said something really inappropriate.
Later I realised that no-one in the centre ever wore photo ID badges.
Yet in other places these regulations are strictly enforced. At one interview I was photographed at reception and was given a temporary photo ID badge to wear while on the premises.
I am confused.
It's not you who is being difficult, it's them who are being difficult.
That's fairly typical. In my experience the only time I've encountered individuals who cared about safety was when I temporarily worked in the health and safety department at a newspaper. It was actually a good experience and they didn't mind my 'strange quirks', but I wasn't a long-term hire.
I did follow the reporting procedure. I did as the organisation states we should in their training stuff. It was not a one off...I've spoken to management previously and nothing changed.
Unfortunately, as you say, people strike back at the individual, rather than solve the problem.
I did not ' blame ' anyone...just pointed out dangers/risks.
It seems the corporate image doesn't match real world fact.
I would just walk into your supervisors office and ask if or when they have a minute and then let them know you'd like help or a protocol to relay health and safety issues you've noticed recurring. Maybe there's a manual or a way this office prefers to address these issues. Also - LIE if you must - and say you enjoy the staff and the workspace, and just want to make sure it's safe for everyone.
One-off, careless occurances, most people would rather everyone just forgives and forgets. If a drawer is left open, say, you could simply close it and walk away.
NTs can be drunk with power in work environments. In their heiearchy structures, the ones with the most power find secret covert ways of getting others fired and since no one really likes the NT who tries to do that and does it poorly (decent examples in the TV show The Office), matters of safety can easily be compromised as most won't want to complain and thus make themselves appear as though they're not that clever. A Field Guide to Earthlings talks about how they default associate everything rather than objectively looking at problems. So if I complain, the negative words are associated with me rather than what's happening. The individual with the problem is the one without power. It's a bt messed up. Better to ask how they prefer you handle it. I've messed this up in previous jobs and been frowned upon. Enough research has at least provided Rules to the Game... ugh.
You do realise that you've put a target on your back. they will try and get manage you out. you might want to start looking for other employment especially if you have no one outside your company supporting you through the investigation. You might want to join a union or get access to work, autism ambassador involved.
Your experiences sound horrific. Unfortunately, some people are just terrible.
I'm still waiting for things to be "investigated" at my workplace. I'm 50/50 on going back to work there at all, even if investigations vindicate what I have done and said.
I just don't understand people at times.
GET OUT OF THAT WORK PLACE !!!
I have been in similar workplace and they had crippled me, I have been poisoned deliberately with livestock medication in three different livestock farms that have put seriously close to hospitalisation. I have witnessed someone being crushed by to death by machinery while someone operating that machinery was under the influence and I have even witnessed kitchen workers in famous pub chain put dog faeces or seamen in peoples food.
Just get out, it only get worse & if you report anything or see something you shouldn't of had it makes you a target and they will force you out or worse it will phycological screw you up. most people tell you to get on with it and put your head down but that in many situation puts you in serious trouble.
[I don't want sympathy, I just don't want to see another person go through or experienced some of the messed up thing i have witnessed or tolerated]
the only person who stops me is now me I'm changing slowly for the better I have to
It’s the complicity of crowds, everyone breaks the rules and the only rule you have to keep is not saying anything because who knows who is going to be caught next.
yes there should be an established reporting process --- there is something not making sense here
I pick up on things that others don't see or understand, or it takes them much longer to work out and arrive at the conclusion that I've already reached and raised as an issue. Plus, I think that people often make intentional invalid statements (to buy time, cover something up, etc) and I'd often disagree and state the actual situation.
Worst is when someone makes a point of asking my opinion, I know I should keep it to myself, they push and push and then I tell them and then they're not happy. But, in that case, I think, you asked, I didn't want to say and you pushed until I did, so it's on you. Work-wise, people tend to eventually understand that if I say something it is right, even if no one else could see it at the time.
In your case, if there are things you see that have a safety impact, I would think you have a responsibility to raise them... but you need to have an expected process for doing so that is in line with policies or company/organisation way of working?