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Being "difficult" at work?

OAP - Older Autistic Person

I'm generally pretty decent at my job wherever I work, but there is an aspect of work that always causes me issues.

I pick up on details that people often miss or choose to ignore, in particular when policies are not being followed, which in my job can put people at risk.

When I communicate this to management I am seen as being, "difficult," "abrupt," or "rude," but no-one can ever seem to tell me what I said that was actually rude, as opposed to being not what they wanted to hear, as it causes problems for them to have to solve.

This has been something I have faced for some while in a variety of workplaces.

I wish I could just ignore what I notice, but I literally feel compelled to identify issues once I see them, especially as they could endanger people.

Parents

  • No one like being told they are wrong or not doing their job properly, least of all by people they might see as subordinates. When this happens the defences mechanism is to turn an issue back on the person. In this case you and the “issue” invalidated.

    If you said something like “is there likely to be an audit/check of X policy anytime soon? I just want to be sure I’m getting it right and it might benefit the other guys too!” That way you have told the manager to look at policy compliance, focused it on your personal development and also appear as a team player by mentioning others. This then allows the manager to investigate in his/her own time, discover the issues and look like a hero (ego massaged) If they choose not to, then you have highlighted it in a diplomatic way.

    I have to say I am a complete hypocrite though. I know hw to do this in principle, but could never master it in reality, so I don’t work in corporate land anymore.

Reply

  • No one like being told they are wrong or not doing their job properly, least of all by people they might see as subordinates. When this happens the defences mechanism is to turn an issue back on the person. In this case you and the “issue” invalidated.

    If you said something like “is there likely to be an audit/check of X policy anytime soon? I just want to be sure I’m getting it right and it might benefit the other guys too!” That way you have told the manager to look at policy compliance, focused it on your personal development and also appear as a team player by mentioning others. This then allows the manager to investigate in his/her own time, discover the issues and look like a hero (ego massaged) If they choose not to, then you have highlighted it in a diplomatic way.

    I have to say I am a complete hypocrite though. I know hw to do this in principle, but could never master it in reality, so I don’t work in corporate land anymore.

Children
  • in reply to The Riddler

    policies exist for the benefit of company & not its workers. HR are not there to support you but to manage people from not going to the authorities for negligence or malpractice.

    Autistic individuals are going to have a hard time navigating conflict at work, most of us lack the basic skills to navigate work based conflict and are more likely forced into a role of being the scapegoat or perpetrator because we can't play the mental gymnastic everyone else seems to play.