Being "difficult" at work?

Same here, friend. People see me as being 'negative' when I point out things they've missed or ignored. They seem to want me to be over optimistic all the time i.e. careless and ignore problems.

Someone on here told me that non autistic people's main concern in life is to cover up their mistakes and ours isn't, we don't care about mistakes. Therefore they see us as insulting them or something by pointing out their mistakes. Go figure.

However, now I am a proofreader and editor where my job is to point out errors. Hurrah!

Hello there, I am new here, awaiting assessment so hadn't intended to create an account just yet...but I've been "lurking" as it were for a wee while and I read about your issues and really feel for you, I've struggled with dealing with the workplace for many years too. But just the one specific thing I wanted to say, I really don't think work can demand that you attend a meeting when you're signed off sick?? - So I hope this will be pretty cut & dried for the union to deal with, try not to worry too much. Best of luck with everything. 

I'd just started to feel a little better. It's set me back to where I was several weeks ago.

I'd been wondering how you were doing and am sorry to hear that things are still difficult for you.

There seems to be a common theme of this type of situation. 

Currently signed off and not long til notice period ends after resignation. I was summoned to a meeting but could not attend because I was in the depths of MH crisis at the time, with involvement of 111, GP, and MH nurse. No opportunity to postpone so work went ahead and based decisions on what they had from other people, and I am now facing a disciplinary hearing.

This feels like retribution now. At most anything I did would warrant a written warning, but I have resigned anyway. It feels like it's punishment for having raised concerns and for the management's faults being identified.

Getting union involved and will let them deal with it. I am too unwell to do so.

I'd looked for counselling options after my diagnosis and it seemed to be non-existent (via the NHS at least).

Hope you feel better being away from that environment.

Spoke to a GP. Nothing much happening other than increase in medication dosage, plus signing me off so I don't have to work notice in what could be a very damaging situation, and confirmed my referral for ASD assessment has been sent.

Recommended counselling, but the NHS no longer provides that.

it's frustrating. To access the services I need to avoid getting to a point where I would be hospitalised / sectioned....I'd have to be hospitalised / sectioned.

I was recommended a local MH charity, so have contacted them.

So much of what you've said throughout this "conversation" has resonated with me and I've felt like I can relate all the way through. Really and truly. But, I think that there is a danger of me thinking that we've experienced the same and then giving answers based on my experience and overlooking the detail of yours.

I think talking to someone about past issues and your feelings is a great idea. In the meantime, try not to be too hard on yourself and try to let go of what happened at work - from what I'm understanding, it's not worth any of the issues or anxiety that it seems to be causing you.

Have been in touch with 111 and spoke to a MH nurse at length. Went into excruciating detail about many thins. She's adding me to the emergency GP list. I have to call tomorrow.

I'm wrecked...emotionally any mentally. So much trauma, all unresolved, in past decades.

I see I have upset others while symptomatic and unaware.

I am broken and wretched. My wife cried too, seeing me in pain, which adds layers to the wretchedness.

Thanks.

I can't keep my mouth shut sometimes when I know I should, which is ironic as I'm a pretty quiet person. But, if I see something wrong (I work in IT systems design and support) I cannot keep it to myself. The problem is though that people don't like to be told - especially in presentations - I've learned that quite a few times now. 

As with your situation, I think you were right to raise H&S issues, but don't know about the detail that followed. Maybe there is something there for you to let go of as it's probably not worth the anxiety or stress that it's caused you.

I used to be told, "pick your battles". Until then I was fighting every single one! I'm pretty clever, but it took me a long time to learn some things like this (and I'm still learning them).

Less than 2 years. I don't have the energy left to fight,

Sorry to hear that. Don’t roll over easily though. If have been there for more than 2 years you should be able to wangle a settlement package fairly easily if you make the right noise.

I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I am unable to interact with people very well nowadays.

I just don't understand how to function in society. I used to be able to do it to some extent, but as the years have passed I find it less and less possible.

Things probably started going particularly wrong about 15 years ago when my father got diagnosed with cancer. Since then there has been so much turmoil in my life. Four family deaths in quick succession (my father being the fourth in three years) and a total breakdown of contact with the rest of my family, who I no longer see. I have felt absolutely lost and confused ever since.

That, combined with my utter inability to keep quiet when I see problems, have led to chaos.

I do have some very long term friends and a great wife...so can't be all bad...yet WTF is wrong with me?

thats a shame that you have been forced out

I have decided to resign. I was called in for a meeting to discuss the various issues and to be honest, I really can't do it anymore.

It seems that they have drawn ranks and decided to protect the person who breached procedures.

I have a strong sense of morality / principles which I think gets me into these troubles.

I faced similar bullying issues when I refused to be involved in criminality / fraud in a previous workplace. When I spoke to management about it, it became clear they were aware and complicit. I then endured a year of bullying before leaving.

The issues I identified in my current workplace could potentially put people at risk. It has now been confirmed that my concerns were valid, that procedures are not being followed, and this needs to be addressed.

I am still...over four weeks on...waiting to hear the verdict in relation to the accusations made me about me immediately after I raised the concerns.

It has been agreed that the email I used to identify my concerns was not rude, but was in fact exactly as it should have been. The only other contact I had with the complainant was in two brief phone calls, when I needed to ask questions, and there were no issues there. No other contact was made as I was in a different part of the site for the entire day.

My daughter tends to have the same problems 

It sounds to me like you're communicating valid things, but there's either an issue in the communication of these things, people are being a***holes, or both.

If you're not communicating in a way that is "effective" and in the way that people are expecting, they can tell you that and you can alter your approach (if appropriate and necessary).

It sounds like something out of nothing. If you raised an issue and followed a process / sent an email - why should that be an issue.

I am feeling for you on this - I think I communicate things in a way that lead to this type of situation in place to place. I still think you follow a process, move on and if people have an issue they need to either say what it is in a way that can close it off or they get over it and move on and allow you to do the same.

I raised the concern with the person via email. It has been confirmed that my email was not rude. I spoke to the same person on the phone about separate things during the day with no issues. Still, no-one can tell me what I said or did that was rude / abrupt.

I have been relatively popular at work...and friends with the person concerned...up until this.