unfair treatment in school

It sounds as though your best option is to find another school for your son. By all means make a complaint but don't take it on yourself to fix a broken school with a failing teacher.

I know this teacher very well. She was just joining that school the year I was leaving and she hasn't changed at all in fact she's gotten worse. I'm not the only parent in the school who has complained about her over the years. It's a miracle how she hasn't been struc off as she haso bullied older children also. 

I don't have an issue with conflicts in my life nor have I gotten into arguments at work I'm sorry to hear you have and glad you have a diagnosis for yourself but I feel my stress and anxiety is due to my son not gettin the quality of care and understanding and when he does I'm sure it will go away. I know she is trying to get me to move him school because she can't be bothered with the hassle of my son or myself complaining all the time and trying to get her sorted out. 

She has made my poor boy life hell. 

If you have autism then you may well not know the teacher at all.

You might call it sticking up for your son, others might call it picking a fight. The end result might be that the teacher is not on your son's side. She is probably hoping that you will take yourself and your son to another school.

Not everybody has conflicts like we aspies have conflicts. i thought it was normal to get shouted at at work. Apparently most people don't experience this!

Conflict leads to stress, anxiety and depression.

Can I suggest that you go and get yourself diagnosed and start trying to reduce the conflict in your life? I'm speaking as someone who is sick and tired of fighting the world and is trying to understand why I used to get into arguments on a regular basis.

maybe it's just me but if you knew that teacher you would say the same thing. 

I didn't fall out with her I am standing up for my son. 

Everybody haa conflicts in life. 

thedunns said:

yeah i took that test online and it said that there was a high chance that i was autistic. i went to the doctor recently expressing my concern and they basically laughed at me and said that im just a strange person and self diagnoising.. i also spoke to my mum and my husband about it and they both said that some of my behaviour ie social situations,communication,facial expressions noise severe anxiety was similar to what my son is like.

the doctor said that it doesnt appear to upsetting my everyday life but yet diagnoised me with depression.

The reason I asked was that you had fallen out with the teacher and used an unusual term to describe her. It is very unusual to describe a teacher like that and perhaps was an example of someone not knowing and understanding the boundaries of normal. Have you had other conflicts in your life?

Depression is very common with ASD but can be dealt with if you get to understand what the disorder means.

the bullying at school..

has been happening since day of primary one. they have punched kicked spat pulled his hair poked him in the eye strangled him..

i was told by the school after complaning 7 days a week for months , he gives as good as he gets, he brngs it on him self and he can be rough with other people, he doesnt try to make friends with people, then they said no he has lots of friends dont worry, and then they said autistic children make things up as they were obviously sick of me complainig.

the wheelchair incident

i told his teacher last week that he wouldnt be in on monday this week as he was getting his wheelchair she had a big smile on her face and nodded and walked away.

i wrote in his communication diary the same thing to which she also ignored 

then told her again ignored again

monday came 6 missed calls to my mobile vaurious messages also my house phone my husband and they also called his work.

when i called them back after leaving the hospital they knew nothing about it nd the teacher denied me saying despite me having written on the diary.

it absolutely clear to see that the teacher doesnt give a rats ass about my son and finds him hard work and a pain.. but there is also another asd child and also a wheelchair user in the classroom and they dont get treated this way..

i knew this teacher from when i was at school and was also friends with her daughter but the friendship fizzled out as her priorities are different from mine.. my kids always come first where as she would leave hers at the drop of a hat wth anybody that would take them..

i personally think that this is beyond just my son and that it is personal .. since he started in her class and i kept complaining her daughter walks past myself and my family and also blocked me fro facebook.. very childish.. she also started trying to cause problems for my mum who runs the after school care attached to the school.

he gets left out on almost everything.. when giving out reindeer food last week he didnt get any ,giving out juice or fruit at the end of the day the apples get given out first so he doesnt get any as he has bad allergies and eats a limited diet..

we suggested a sensory space for him in school - nope refused

asn support worker - refused apparently they wont get funding as there already is one in the class that helps the other autistic boy

we bought ear protectors for him and she said she hopes the novelty wears off with them as apparently he keeps touching them and disscourges use of them- i have never seen him play with them, when there on they stay on.

suggested music for him when he is strugging and also to take him out of the class still hsnt happened 

my husband and i had a meeting at the school at the end of october and disscussed with his case worker that he needs someone to watch him in the play ground and she suggested structured gaes with aduts help still hasnt happened..

since then i have complained 3 times about more bullying and it still hasnt stopped.

i had to take my son home every luch time for two months at the begining of p2 so he wouldnt get beaten up..

everyday he goes to that school his life is a missery he walks around alone,has no friends,they steal his coat put it in the mud or run away with it hit him call him names pull his hair etc

we are at a complete loss of what to do but i dont thing anything could be much worse than that school. he is avery bright boy and just needs care and understading and i dont doubt that we will have every success in life.. 

yeah i took that test online and it said that there was a high chance that i was autistic. i went to the doctor recently expressing my concern and they basically laughed at me and said that im just a strange person and self diagnoising.. i also spoke to my mum and my husband about it and they both said that some of my behaviour ie social situations,communication,facial expressions noise severe anxiety was similar to what my son is like.

the doctor said that it doesnt appear to upsetting my everyday life but yet diagnoised me with depression.

What kind of bullying has he experienced? You mention injuries including to his head. That sounds like physical attacks, which the school most certainly should not be tolerating or allowing to pass unremedied.

You mention sensory difficulties, noise and bright lights. Do these cause distress, changes in behaviour, meltdowns? If his peers (other pupils) recognise that he can be made to react by making loud noises, sudden movements etc they might do this for entertainment (was certainly what happened to me a great deal). The head injuries might be due to his reactions to such winding up, or may be passed off to teachers as self inflicted when they have been injuries inflicted by other children.

If he is aggressive at school is this a response to the bullying? Or to the way the teachers behave on account of the meltdowns or responses. The teachers may be taking the view that his behaviour is wilful and his fault, not the fault of other kids.

The behaviour of the teachers seem strange. Teachers will bully a child if they think there is some righteousness in it, that is to say, if they fail to see your child's responses as due to disability (few teachers seem to understand autism) they may view your child's behaviours as wilful and justifying their harsh interventions.

Children may be being told by their parents or teachers that your child is mentally ill - people seem particularly fearful of mental illness. A child with autism at the school may be seen by ignorant people as suggesting a mental illness (OK it shouldn't but it happens).

Schools still don't seem to understand the kind of bullying experienced by children on the spectrum, if indeed any kind of bullying. They will try to blame the victim in order to prevent the school being criticised for allowing bullying.

The incident with a wheelchair is strange. Who provided this - other children or staff in the school? Are they saying being disabled means you need to be in a wheelchair. Is the teacher's reaction one of approval of such gestures.

The school sounds like an intervention case - badly run, grossly unprofessional - unfit to continue as a school, given what you describe. BUT, and this is something to consider, you need to understand what is going on. To what extent is your child easily affected by bullying? If he goes to another school, word may be passed on to that school by teachers, parents of other children or children themselves - not supposed to, but it happens. So changing schools may not as easily solve the problem.

Have you considered whether your son may have inherited his ASD from one of you? Have you tried the test at http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/ ?

thats for replying soo quickly..

we dont have a social worker. i wasnt aware we should have one, we were literally given leaflets and left to deal with it alone.

yesterday our son was given a wheelchair (large pushchair) told his teacher and she didnnt giive a damn.

he has behaviour,social,communication,senory problems. he has problems with noise and bright light.

he has no friends yet he can be the most amazing little boy. he can become very aggressive with people mainly at home but recently at school also.

we are looking into another school for him at the moment, we would prefer him to go to one with a unit attached to it as we feel he doesnt get the support he needs.

we are in two minds about a special school because we thought it might slow him down ? as he is a very very bright little boy.. his doctor said its been a very long time since she saw such a clever child like him and said he was a mathimatical genius ;)

Hi - very sorry to hear how much your son + yourselves are suffering.  There's loads of info via the home pg - you shd check that out or try the ipsea site for info so your son can get support at school (teaching assistant for example).  The school sounds uncaring.  Have you thought of checking out autism specific schools or special schools as well as other mainstream schools?  Have you been allocated a social worker?  Tell us a bit more about your son so we can reply in a more detailed way.