I have no reason to be alive

I go from day to day and make up stuff to keep me alive.

  • You are actively resisting your own best interests. Find the person within who has the joyous will to thrive. They ARE there. This is the person you need to talk with and they are always there waiting for you to turn your self-worth their way. 

    If 'reality' is not to your liking then avoid looking at it. Turn your gaze toward that which brings you joy and enthusiasm, no matter how small: a cup of warm beverage, the cat's fur, a lark.

    Let that seed of joy grow with practice into a joyous regard.

    This, the stuff that dreams are made of, is, itself, the "making stuff up to keep alive": That is all any of us ever do, can ever do. That is the very definition of life.

    SO Make up joyopus stuff! You got this!!

  • I am looking for reasons to keep going  and there aren't any.

    I haven't designed any spaceships and I don't know what is outside of my range of perception. 

  • Good for you.

    Doesn't mean my life will get better.

    Watching animals won't pay my rent.

    I will never be a mom. I can't afford them and i can barely look after myself.

    I guess you're still pretty young too 

  • Thank you Karin, I am in therapy.  It won't change the reality of things for me though.

  • I can't imagine what you're going through and don't know the details of your circumstances, but all I'll say is that there will always be a day when you look back and are glad you kept going and realise how bad it has been but was worth getting through.

    That day will come, I hope it's soon for you and you feel better and look back at this thread and say to yourself "wow I must have been in a bad place but I'm not now".

  • That sounds like a hard situation to be in, definitely worth talking to someone and finding some support.

    My personal experience is I felt this way in myself for a long time, but with therapy was able to start seeing that I wasn't seeing or remembering times when I felt happy or content, I could only see and remember the bleakness.

  • Hello NAS80873,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. 

    You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health  

    The information on these pages may be of particular interest:

    depression https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/depression  

    anxiety https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/anxiety  

    autistic fatigue and burnout https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue  

    All the best,

    Karin Mod

  • You've got this far why stop now? 

    Life has its ups and downs, we've all been there and undoubtedly will continue to experience the highs and lows of this life. 

    Look around you for the beauty of life. I see beauty and peace in animals. I can happily spend all day just sitting with animals, watching them, playing with them...and I can talk to them and feel a connection and understanding. 

    I used to feel like I had nothing to live for so I started looking for things and I found them.

    5 years ago I was depressed and suicidal...and now I am a mum,  I enjoy life and I am happy.

    Things DO change for the better. Don't give up on yourself. 

  • If everything that you wanted was there in your life, would you still have no reason to live? Do to want to live long enough to see those things become a reality, or do just think you're not worth the time that you were given here on Earth? Out of all the desolate and inhabitable planets out there in space, our planet has life somehow, and your life is a continuation of whatever that initial lifeform was. The odd thing about us complex living beings, is that we try to find reasons not to live. A small fly can just buzz around absent-mindedly and just fly around freely and live it's life, and yet us humans, who have the compacity to shape the world, engineer advanced technology, have space crafts, submarines, and etc., just find reasons not to live. As if nothing around them would amaze a caveman. We've come so far in existence, we still have unanswered questions, and our lives are short enough, it doesn't need to be any shorter. I wish you could see more for your life. 

  • It's about not having a personal reason to live. 

    Making a difference of course would be a motivator, but there aren't many jobs that I could compete for and that pay enough to make me feel financially comfortable. 

    And money is very important, especially if you are alone in this world like I am.

    People discard of me on a regular basis too.

    Nobody loves me either and I might not even be able to build an intimate relationship. 

  • Angst? I am not afraid, just tired 

  • Ah.....you'll be OK.  Angst is something we all know well.  You've got by this long....stick with it...dawn follows the dark.

  • Hello Roswell.  Welcome home.

  • I understand, I think. Please know that you don’t need a reason to be, you are, you exist and you’re full of so much potential. Your voyage through life may be though stormy seas and tempests, but you can weather it and I assure you that you will surprise yourself and experience happiness & fulfilment. I don’t know your circumstances or the cause of your suffering, but please try to get help in mitigating it.

    You speak of people with purpose, I assume you feel you don’t have one? Perhaps not finding your purpose yet would be more accurate? But, finding a purpose is just that, FINDING it. It's unlikely it will find you. Some effort will be required.

    Best wishes,

    Dragonfly

  • Not enough for me to be honest. 

  • What if your reasn to be alive is your existence makes others feel more compassion for your sadness?

  • Thank you. But not for me. It's not about having a right to be here, it's about having a good life. There are people with purpose and who are loved dying in accidents or of illness. I don't know why I have to keep on suffering 

  • Please check out the prose named Desiderata. It helped me, whenever I felt low.