On a bad day - what do you turn to for comfort?

When I had a cat, I had a long conversation with her and a cuddle.  

Sleep.

Yes, it has been a lovely day, thank you Sloan.  People and dogs and friendships.  Now burning some long-past-midnight oil and musing.

Nice to bump into you properly here.....we evidentially understand each other on this 'funnel' thing = nice and comforting ....and we will be engorging another thread if we now allow ourselves the option to substitute the word "Megaknob" for the word "funnel" below (in our minds)...!  Not essential....and probably neither appropriate nor worthwhile to do so....but anything to help you wade through the following stodgy word soup;

Having a giant funnel is an incredibly wonderful thing.....but it needs to be managed and handled carefully or else overwhelm can rapidly crash the train = carnage is a real risk.  Socially, a giant funnel always garners attention of one kind or another.  It makes its presence felt.  Sometimes, a giant funnel can be hidden very effectively in a manner akin to that of a large building hiding anonymously  within a street of tarmac, benches, flowerbeds, parked cars and normal shops.  If the building falls over, however, or if you "blow the bloody doors off" ..... everyone notices.

Rather than pretending that I can successfully manage my giant funnel like normal people handle their normal funnels (which I tried for 50+ years with varying degrees of success and harm to me and others,) I now choose to explain to people (that must endure me and my nonsense,) that, I am a little different.

I now allow myself to talk to myself....I find this to be a VERY excellent way to keep my (potentially very useful Being) focused on the appropriate matters at hand.  If I do that, I find that I can ensure that at least 50% of my funnel is occupied with listening to myself (often correcting, advising and chastising myself), whilst the other 50% can address feedback generated by doing the actual fooking thing required that I am chatting to myself about....there is no room for further input and therefore no room for distraction!

When not nattering to myself like a mad bloke, (for instance when I'm on the phone.....(yes, an actual bloodi voice call = I am that old))......I also need to pace around......and be looking around at things....or completely still with my eyes closed.....or sitting weirdly....or speaking in a daft accent or manner.....its quite a performance sometimes....never manic....but can be a little overwhelming for those at the other end, or listening or watching !!  My general output is extremely "worked" and I speak by appointment only, about important things.  When attempting to work at a computer, audible melody/beat (carefully derived and married to the task) seems to be very important to my success or otherwise.

Its all very ~~~insert your label of choice~~~ to me.  Whatever it is, many people here on these pages help me enormously and they feel like VERY 'neurokin' to me, and frankly, they all seem to be of the ~~~insert your label of choice~~~ variety.

I don't deny myself the negative overthinking these days...but I'm careful not to burden others with it where possible...and I keep my REAL life sufficiently edgy to JOLT me out of any dangerous whirlpools these days.  Not drinking booze really helps me avoid the whirlpools and allows me the clarity to forgive myself the bursts of negativity that are both founded and reasonable.  I believe that social media is a primary source of whirlpools, so I choose to have nothing to do with it.......with a funnel like mine....those places would be unhealthy and unwise for me.

Anyhow Sloan......tis late....should sleep now.....has been a pleasure...thanks for prompting a Number rant.....till the next time.

Kindest regards

Number.

Yes totally agree… I think being able to master mindfulness would be an incredible achievement for an autistic person as I think we all have a tendency to overthink, overanalyse, get distracted. It’s hard to find a time when I feel reasonably okay to try and do it! 
yeah I think easy to watch mindlessness is a good solution to it all! 

Yes! I get that exactly. I love the funnel analogy. As much as I love quiet time, my mind very quickly descends into negative overthinking or hyper focus on something that I shouldn’t be focusing my attention on! 
hope today has been a good day for you! :) 

Thank you so much Star - such kind words mean a lot

Aww, bless you Kate. I understand, depression is horrible and it can take everything you enjoy. That darkness that feels suffocating isn't forever, I pray it will lift for you soon. It doesn't rain forever. Stay positive.

Thank you Star x Music is very good for me generally but weirdly when I feel really depressed I can’t listen to it. But I probably should try maybe. I’m not sure. But on an a normal day it does me so much good. I’m glad it works for you :) 

That sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. It’s comforting just reading that let alone doing it. I think you make a very good point about not fighting it. Thank you for sharing this.

I lie on the bed with my weighted blanket, put some relaxing music on youtube, light some candles and melt some nice smelling wax. I dont fight it anymore like i used to. Sleep x

Music for me. A feel good, happy, upbeat song is all I need to turn a bad day around into a fabulous day! I have a playlist specifically for bad days. No sad songs allowed, only the happy ones .

I hope you're ok Kate, and having a great day.

Different ones at different times. I’m showing my age here () - initially certain New Romantic bands, then Goth /indie bands, and some classical pieces. But I’d find certain songs wonderful and play them over and over again and my brother would get totally exasperated with me! 

Yes like people folding blankets nicely or lots of weird things like annoying sounds when you have to get a hard job done gives carity and focus 

It’s great that we are so alike! I am glad you have found a fellow autistic you can connect with! 

Personally I don’t like the song you have linked to as it is very overstimulating. Thanks though!

What was the favourite same song when you were younger?

Yummy pizza ^_^ 

Goodfellas cheese and tomato thin based margarita pizza, Dr. Pepper zero, and a cadburys caramel

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this too - solidarity. You’ve managed to get to work feeling like this - no small achievement! I’ll check out the link - thank you. And good luck :)

Hi Crismc74.

Sincere congratulations on your 3 weeks and 3 days.  Keep at it  - it IS definitely worth it - if my experience is anything to go by.  Feel free to send me a private message if you start to wobble seriously.

With respect.

Number.

It so happens that this is exactly one of those days, Kate. Especially that I've veen sober for 3 weeks and 3 days (in the absence of those shots, depression came back with full vigour once more).

Now at work, trying to rehydrate and listen to some soothing videos on YouTube. For some reason the sounds in this video seem able to relieve some of the pressure on my chest, I don't know why.

Sharing the link with you, in hope it might help:

youtu.be/W0FDfux-2uo