the clues are there

Hi robtherake,

Welcome to the Community!  As I'm sure you're finding, the Community is a helpful and supportive place where you can meet others. It's good that you have joined and have also had the confidence to email the Samaritans. If you ever need to speak to someone in writing, our helpline can also be emailed as phoning can be stressful for people on the spectrum. Please continue to let us know how you are doing and if there is anything else we can do then please don't hesitate to contact us.

Sofie Mod

hi rob, thanks for replying, early days getting my head around what's real or not, too much stress atm to sit & think, a few days off after boxing day, change of lifestyle 2016

Clyde said:

hi all, a 53yr old guy of not many words so will keep brief.  recently been looking into this & taken some online tests, mid to high 30's score plus reading about it & it all makes sense, so perhaps i'm not the oddball i always thought i was & maybe the reason for drinking too much/often.  not really sure how or if to persue this but this could explain everything.

I hear you, Clive. I have a good mind, but I'm socially backward and for a long time drink provided social lubrication. I'm teetotal these days - I prefer to keep my mind clean, for learning, but I was a p**shead and no mistake. I scored 40 and have been unofficially diagnosed with Asperger's. Ditto the not many words; unless I'm on subject and then my conversation's encyclopaedic! The diagnosis fits me like a glove, yet my wife refuses to accept it and I don't have the mental apparatus to even begin to explain it to her. As the Yanks say - life sucks.

Coming on here is a call for help, along with an email to the Samaritans, since I explain better when I can write it out. Thinking on my feet, exasperatingly, is an impossiblility.

hi all, thanks for all help & advice, will resond soon, busy with work & stuff but i do want to digest all comnents & talk to you guys, i work nights as well

Hi Clyde,

Getting a diagnosis at your age can make a lot of sense. I was diagnosed at 56 and it has helped me undestand who I am and how to solve some issues.

Do you want to stop living in the camper van? You don't sound thrilled with that life and I suspect that it will get harder over time.

Getting a diagnosis isn't easy sometimes - it depends on all sorts of things. Do you have a GP to talk to about this?

I think you've found a way to live that suits you and your needs, so that's OK. Plenty of people throughout history have lived a similar lifestyle - that's what hiring fairs used to be about for people in this country, moving from job to job, place to place, house to house, and there are lots of people still doing it. I'd be interested to hear what doesn't seem right about it to you?

The subject of whether or not to go for diagnosis is absolutely your choice. Some people seem to be OK just to self identify, and in all honesty everyone is welcome here, formal diagnosis or not. If it's helping you just to chat on here, and that's all you want, it really isn't a problem, we're glad to have you join us anyway.

I encourage people to go for diagnosis because I did, and it's made the world of difference to me, and I've every good reason to be grateful for getting it. It finally answered questions that I've had all my life, and would still have if I hadn't had the diagnosis.

I was described as 'severe', but I don't know what scale they used to say that. It's an obvious thing to say, but I've only ever been me, I have to work very hard to try and understand how it is for other people, and I certainly don't always get that right either, I just try very hard. If I can tell you any more about it, just ask away and I'll do my best to answer you. Hopefuly, so will others!

i've only managed to read one book in my life, a proffessor brian cox ebook, so def not booky. thought i was dislexic but applarently not, just not wired up properly.

this all seems to make sense now, looking back at my life, not sure if to go for diagnosis as am 53 & managed this far.

i work away & live in my camper van, on own, guess i've escaped from 'normal' life, it works but i know it's not right.

i recently undertook an edx/havard course on 'life & super earths', very technical & made me think, but finished it in a week & scored 97%, so i know i've got a brain & probably used it to get myself this far.

i need to think about what to do.

Yes I mean well but I'm booky.

There was a better reason for citing a book here. Alcoholism is a big issue affecting people on the autistic spectrum, even if it is not talked about. It seems quite a few people try to use alcohol to socialise, but find they need more and more to help them do that. There seem to be a lot of alcoholics on the spectrum whether diagnosed or undiagnosed.

OK I jump to conclusions....you may be simply like classic codger says, using alcohol in moderation, or maybe a bit more but not harmfully. Also I don't personally know whether you are comfiortable with books or avoid them - obviously that has an impact.

The book I recommended was written by a recovered alcoholic who found in the recovery process that he was on the autistic spectrum. He discovered this watching a TV programme about The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. This was after being admitted to hospital with 2500 units of alcohol in his bloodstream, versus the normal 60.

The book is more approachable than most and could be usefully read by people who aren't affected by alcohol.

Sometimes the only way to tackle these things is to read other people's biographies/autobiographies. Experience counts.

He found a lot of his drinking was driven by anxiety before making journeys by bus or tube (underground). That's an anxiety for many people on the spectrum. The book is helpful in identifying why someone on the spectrum might drink.

thank you for your advice

Hi Clyde. I'm sure that Longman means well, but are you able to read a book like this? I think we sometimes forget, when we're being proud of our education, that not everyone is the same.

Plenty of people (I'm one) have used drink or drugs to get away from our experiences.

The best thing you can do now is to talk to your GP about it. If what you've looked at is making sense to you, that's a good clue to start with, and you can always talk some more on here with us about what happens for you and how you feel about it. We can maybe give you some insight, but we can't diagnose, so the most we can do is help and support you while you look at this. We're happy to do that!

Anything you can write is fine, don't worry about how few words you write, or how, because we'll do our best to understand and talk with you.

Drink and autism do seem to occur together and there is a book around called "Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol - Drinking to Cope" by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx (Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2008   ISBN 978 1 84310 609 8   this ref number would help a librarian or book shop find it and may help you identify it on line).