Adult female waiting for Autism assessment

I think I have sent you a friendship request. Did you get it? 

I agree ! Great, thank you very much

Plinky, thank you for your message. Gosh, that is a crazy long wait! I am glad that you are nearly there. x 

It is easier said that done, I know. I struggle too, but sometimes it can help if we are reminded of things by other people. I will message you separately. :) 

Thank you for those words. You are right and that is what I am trying to tell to myself while waiting.

I would be happy to talk more on a 1:1 basis. Thank you for this proposition.

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I am 2 years down the waiting list right now - now assessment in sight. GL

I definitely relate to what you say about being "scared if it ends up being a negative diagnosis". I have felt a little anxious about what the result of the assessment might be, and if it is negative, then what next?

However, I think it is totally valid to still struggle with whatever it is you're struggling with regardless of whether it is related to a diagnosis of Autism or not. Neurodiversity is everywhere. We may struggle with certain aspects of our life whether this warrants a specific diagnosis/label or not. You can still raise the issues with your employer. I know that this is sometimes not easy and can take courage, but they could help you. Diagnosis or not, they should! You deserve to be looked after. 

If you wanted to continue this chat on a more 1:1 basis, we could give it a go. I think there is a way to do that on this website? Let me know what you think. 

Take care x 

Sorry to hear what you're going through, Dawn. It sounds tough.

I think it is a good idea to remind ourselves that it may not be that others are getting through work effortlessly. Often, others have their own difficulties they are going through, but often these are not apparent or spoken about at work. 

Take care x 

Well honestly same as you... it is hard to deal with the doubts of "Am I ? Am I not ?". I feel really vulnerable in this and have told my really close family. I feel generally misunderstood for doing this except for my partner who really is supporting me a lot. The wait is long and I am so scared if it ends up being a negative diagnosis cause I do struggle a lot daily and I can't keep going anymore without any kind of help or understanding particularly in the professional world... so I am just happy to speak to someone regularly, someone who is going through the same. I would just feel less alone. 

Yeah! I'm recognising some of that.  I'm been perpetually exhausted by work for years and wondered how come other people get through effortlessly what takes so much out of me.

And I've been watching the youtube videos and reading the psychological papers too - hyper focus gone into over drive?  Probably, lol.

The wait is horrible but we'll get our answers in the end.

Is there anything in particular that you thought you might want to talk about? 

Hi Hookaduckduck, 

Thank you for this advice. It is very kind of you. I might give it a go. 

Take good care.

I contacted the team and asked if I could be considered at short notice to be assessed if someone cancelled unexpectedly. This was after I was told there was a 6 month wait for initial assessment and then a further 12-18 months for full diagnostic assessment. That was in January. Next thing I know I had my initial contact end of Feb I think or early March, then the full assessment on 12th April. Someone else on the forum had suggested asking for the cancellations. Seemed to work for me.

Hi !

I am on the waiting list aswell and would love to speak to someone who is going through the same.  I think the list you made is a great idea

Hi Dawn and Alec, Thank you for replying to my post. I really appreciate it. 

It is in some ways comforting to connect with others out there who are perhaps in a similar situation (albeit very different for a whole multitude of reasons)! 

I have started to write down things that I think might make me believe that I perhaps have Autism or I perhaps don't, as well as writing down any questions I have. This has helped me not get so overloaded with the thoughts, and I also figured it might help me organise my thoughts prior to the assessment so that I can go in and say what I would like to say. I obviously don't know if this is the "right" thing to be doing, but it has eased the mind whirring a little for me. I also found voicing it out-loud to a person I trust helpful. I made sure that I chose someone who I knew would not share their opinion or judgement on what they think. In this instance, I didn't want to know the perspectives of others because I want to be assessed based on my own views and thoughts of myself and how I behave, rather than being influenced by the words of others. Again, this is just what I am doing personally. Others may well find talking to others and getting their thoughts on the matter helpful. I am just talking about my experience at the moment.

I also got into a cycle of watching lots of YouTube videos about people talking from experience (mainly female adults with Autism who have been diagnosed in adulthood). For me, I realised that I perhaps was doing this too much. I think a little bit for me was helpful because I was able to reflect on myself and learn and educate myself, but I think I got a bit 'hooked' on them, and I don't think it was helping with the overthinking.  

Alec, I am sorry to hear that the waiting list for assessment is as long as it is in your area! That is so, so tough. Even though there is a wait, if it is something that you feel strongly that you would like to look into, it may be worth considering the referral anyway? I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make the wait shorter, but sadly I can't. 

From experience, I have found reducing my hours at work helpful. I was suffering severely from anxiety and depression, and in hindsight I think I was probably burned out for a long time, but just got so used to it that I just thought it was normal. It took loved ones around me to support me to ask for help at work. It takes a lot of courage to speak up at work to say that you are struggling with health, and I wish many employers were better equipped at supporting those with health needs, but it doesn't hurt raising your difficulties with your employer. It wasn't easy for me to reduce my hours - it involved a lot of self-advocating, and I got sad a frustrated at times. But it has reduced the mental and emotional load that I was experiencing, and has also given more time to rest and spend time looking into my health (which takes time and energy). I found that being specific to my employer about what the difficulties for me at work were/the impact working full time was having on my life helpful (e.g. for me - crashing on the sofa from exhaustion in the evening and not going to bed properly; crying every morning on the way to work; not being able to focus at work; not getting tasks done because I had rock-bottom self-esteem to complete them....). Because sometimes saying that you are e.g. having problems sleeping/worrying/anxious does not quite do it justice and people don't really understand how debilitating whatever it is you're going through is. 

I hope some of this is perhaps helpful. I have by no means at all got it all figured out! I am very much in the midst of a turbulent part of the journey that is life, but I thought I would share some of the things that I have done or found helpful/unhelpful recently.

Take good care. x

I have just been told I'm Autistic by someone who hasn't known me that long in work, I'm 42 and find life very hard, my doctors say the Autism assessment will take up to two years, I have a full time job but I'm struggling to cope everyday now and can't sleep worrying about finding help, there's got to be an easyer way to access help than asking random strangers on this website. 

Going through the very same thing...kind of though to think about anything else.  I am recognising just about everything other than the steel trap memory.  No number fixations, but I'm a data manager and data is soothing...and whilst not a social phobe... I have mates, I didn't play with others in primary and still miss out on other people's motivations and jokes at times.  That said, any one of the things on the seeming endless list of stuff that IS there, I have always explained, and indeed they could be explained, by my dyslexia, an assortment of adverse childhood events, simple personality leaning, or an odd little quirk (surely everyone has a few)... But so many??

I'm trying not to prejudge the assessment, but I do find myself now constantly analysing everything for arguments one way or the other.  I'm trying to cope by forcing my head to analyse my data instead, LOL.