Should I pursue a diagnosis?? Not sure.

Good luck with your assessment.

I visited my GP after putting it off several times after my youngest son was diagnosed at 14 as ASD last year. My eldest son is also ASD.

I get the "imposter" feeling as well.

It's really hard, but I guess it wil be good to finally know why I've felt so odd-one-out my entire life.

Personally, I found my assessment a really satisfying experience.  I'll describe a little below - though I should point out that there does seem to be quite a bit of variation in how different teams do it.

My assessment was four two-hour long interviews spread over a couple of months.  The first one was mostly spent completing some of the standard self-reporting questionnaires, in order to give the psychologist some leads to begin the rest of the process.

The interviews actually felt very relaxed.  The people in a dedicated ASD unit will understand that your communication style may be unusual, and will have encountered any anxieties that you have many times before - and they're also trained to see beneath any "imitation of normal" behaviour that I worried might interfere with diagnosis .  I was put at my ease very quickly, and did not find the questioning to be too intrusive or embarrassing at all - more comfortable than many sessions with counsellors and therapists in the past, to be honest.

During the final session, an occupational therapist joined the psychologist for part of the interview.  I think this was for her particular expertise in sensory and executive functioning problems, which seem to be particularly pronounced in my case.

In my case, parental involvement was by post, as my folks are in their 70's now, and live too far away to travel conveniently.  When I spoke to my Mum later about it, it seems that the questions she was asked were fairly innocuous - mostly practical questions about how I played with my toys, when I learned my first words, behaviour at children's parties, how often I had tantrums, that kind of thing.  Not so different from the kind of anecdotes that parents share with each other every day at the school gates, really - and not at all expecting her to "psychoanalyse" how I had been.

I hope that helps to put your mind a little more at rest.  If you have a local patient support group where you might find someone who has been assessed in your district, they might be worth contacting too.  There's no such thing as being "over-prepared" so much that it would change the outcome - in fact, the psychologist I saw thanked me afterwards for preparing myself so well and making her job so much easier!

Definitely, I instantly felt at ease when he said that; beforehand I felt stupid and silly for even being there. I nearly didn't even go. I work with people who have disabilities and mental illness and I always get told they're glad they're speaking to someone who actually understands from firsthand experience, so I guess it's definitely a good thing. It was good to be on the receiving end of that feeling today, though.

I'm a bit nervous about the assessment. I'm 24, and they'll have to get my mum in. And that's fine, but it feels awkward having to have my mum in. I never talk about this stuff really, although I have told my mum I was going to the GP for it, but idk. I wish I could just fill in a questionnaire instead of answering questions and worrying about whether they're observing me and looking for signs...

Tbh I don't really know what to expect from the assessment. Any ideas?? :/ 

Hi Shay,

Glad to hear that your doctor has been so considerate, and that you've got past the first hurdle to obtaining a diagnosis.

Interesting that your GP has a developmental condition.  I've wondered for a long time how many (or few) professionals have similar conditions.  I think it would be fantastic if we were able to receive more of our treatment from people who really understand our conditions from personal experience, rather than just from their professional training.

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the support :-)

I went to the doctor today and he's referring me. He told me he has ADHD so he experiences some of the things I do. I think I got the right doctor, this time round. He said he thinks I am somewhere on the spectrum but obviously the psychologist will do the assessment. He said it can be anything from 8 months to 18 months waiting time... which is a long time to wait, but I'll see what happens. 

I just hope that all of these things I experience have an answer, because there's nothing more frustrating than them saying "inconclusive".

Shay,

Glad to hear you've booked an appointment.  As you say, they are only diagnostic tools, but at least you'll know either way by getting a diagnosis.  Although it might take a while (depending on your local services), like me at least you know you can come onto the forum here and find many people who will support you.

Trogluddite,

I've had the "imposter" doubts too, so if it is common among those waiting for a diagnosis, I know I'm not alone.  So many things go through your mind between speaking to the doctor and getting the DISCO!

The doubts that one is an "impostor" is extremely common for people in your situation - I see it on the various autism forums very regularly.  I had the same feelings too: "Well I got to 45 without a diagnoss, so it can't really be can it?".

But actually your factual and concise statement of your traits is quite a good indication that you are on the right track - the way that you've analysed your situation is almost an indication of an autistic trait in its own right, you might say.

Seeing the GP is in some ways the hardest step.  They are the link in the chain likely to have the least awareness of autism.  But if your online tests are showing that ASD is likely then they should have no reason to reject you, and you have a statutory right to a second opinion from another doctor if you are not satisfied.

A good idea is to take with you a list of the symptoms you've already described to us here, or even a printout of your online test.  At this stage you only need to show the GP that ASD is reasonable explanation for what you experience - you don't need cast-iron proof, just an indication that it is worth looking into in more detail.

Hope it all goes to plan.  Best wishes.

Thank you for your replies, everyone.

I've booked an appointment to see the GP, and even if it comes back that I'm not on the spectrum, then at least I'll know, I suppose!

I have done an online test before, and it said "Very likely" that I had ASD, but obviously they aren't diagnostic tools, so it's hard to tell. I hope the appointment goes well; I'm very nervous, and I feel like backing out tbh, like I'm just making it all up in my head. 

Hi Shay,

The things you mention are certainly enough to suspect that you might be on the autistic spectrum.  Not definite, for sure, but enough to be worth looking into further.

It's important to remember that the idea of an 'autism spectrum' is not as simple as it sounds.  It is not a single sliding scale from 'not autistic' to 'profoundly autistic'.  In reality there is a spectrum for social impairment, a spectrum for sensory differences, a spectrum for executive functioning (e.g. planning, routine etc.) and so on.  Every autistic person can be in a different place on each of those, and they don't necessarily correlate with each other.  For example, my sensory issues are relatively mild, yet my executive functioning is much more severely impaired.

Your tiredness from social situations could be an indication that you are able to compensate fairly well for any social impairments.  Social awareness is not an 'all or nothing' ability.  Many autistic people can 'simulate' reasonable social functioning, yet are having to work so much harder than would otherwise be the case.  For example, we might observe like an anthropologist to create a "User Manual" for the people around us, to make up for the lack of "instinct".  This extra load on our brains can lead to exhaustion, or even a complete nervous 'burn out', even when the outcome of interactions might be better than the stereotype of autism that most people imagine.

At the very least, if anxiety and depression have been part of your life for so long, it's worth finding if there is a developmental condition underlying them.  They are very common among autistic people, and if autism is contributing to your mental ill health, any treatments you receive might be less effective if this isn't taken into account.

Don't be afraid to take some of the on-line tests that Telstar mentioned.  If you seek a referral for diagnosis, very similar tests will likely be used to screen you prior to being accepted.  As long as you complete them honestly, they should give a reasonable indication of whether your traits are likely to be considered clinically significant - though, obviously, they are not enough on their own for a complete confirmation.

Best wishes.

Hi Shay,

I'm awaiting a diagnosis from our local Asperger's service, and I too can relate to many of the things you describe.  I feel socially "at odds", have done since childhood, and am certainly aware that I speak in a monotone voice in normal conversation.  When I get an interest, even if short term, it becomes an obsession for that period - for example, doing some research on some apps for my phone recently, I spent several days exploring all the possible candidates.  I especially seem to do this with technology, but thoroughly enjoy it too!  Social situations I find difficult (even worse if a larger number of people are involved).  As for routines, I get really irritable if my plans are changed, almost going into a depression sometimes.  I too have many other things I recognise (6 pages worth in case my clinical psychologist needs it!), but everyone is different on the spectrum - things that might affect one person won't necessarily affect another.

I decided to ask to be referred after reading up about autism and doing the AQ test, which scored me as "autism likely", and after speaking to my sister, who works as a TA with autistic children.  Although some people do decide to self-diagnose, you'll probably find that there are many on this forum who would recommend getting an official diagnosis, as I understand it can offer access to more help.  I also understand that some employers will only recognise an official diagnosis, which is one of the reasons why I'm following this route, as I'm currently not working.

Be prepared for a long wait though, as many MHUs have a long waiting list, up to 18 months to 2 years (which is what I was quoted - though they did write to me last month assuring me I was still "in the system").  As True Colors says, if your doctor is hesitant, don't worry about applying a bit of pressure.  My own doctor was excellent, she referred me without any hesitation, though not everyone has such a perceptive doctor.

Let us know if you proceed, and good luck!

I have a diagnosis for Asperger's Syndrome and I relate to many of the things you refer to in your post.  Initially I got an information pack from the NAS and, after completing the questionnaire, took it along to my doctor who (after some pressure from me) arranged for me to see a psychiatrist.  As a result I received an official confirmation.