Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I'm 24 years old I've thought for years I may have aspergers, but I'm really not sure if it's worth wasting my time or the doctors time, finding out. So, I thought, I'll write down a bit of what I experience here, and if you could give your opinion as to whether it sounds worthwhile?
I've always been a bit socially 'at odds' with everyone else. When I was a kid I didn't have any friends for a while, and when I did, I was terrible at maintaining friendships.. this is the same now.
I have anxiety and depression which were significantly worse when I was in primary school/high school, but I still have it now.
I bite my nails, I have facial tics, I have complex partial seizures (doc said its triggered by anxiety??) I like to rock back and forward and sideto side when i'm excited/nervous/stressed, I have dyslexia and dyscalculia.
I have one of those "no expression faces" and a somewhat "monotonous voice"
I have various interests, but only really seem to have one at a time, and when I have an interest, I like to research it a lot and gather lots of info about it and seemed to get "sucked in". Some examples are: Paganism, mental health, the universe, animals...
I've really had to learn about social situations; I'm quite good at being social but there's just some things that I can't learn, which are: not getting jokes or taking longer than the rest of the group to get the joke, being a bit "slow" in conversations, being tired out by social situations, etc.
also as for routine, I don't have strict rigid routines, but I do get irritable and angry if someone tries to change my plans for the day, or there is a big change and disrupts my day.
I also have some sensory things, like loud noises sometimes physically hurting me so I cover my ears, sometimes get panic attacks from loud noises, not liking physical touch very much, my eyes are very sensitive to light and I have my brightness on my phone and computer down to the lowest, which is still sometimes too bright, and I'm a picky eater.
But at the same time, I don't seem to get other things that i hear a lot of people with aspergers have.
Be honest, what do you think? (obviously I can't write it all down, otherwise this would be a long post!)
Definitely, I instantly felt at ease when he said that; beforehand I felt stupid and silly for even being there. I nearly didn't even go. I work with people who have disabilities and mental illness and I always get told they're glad they're speaking to someone who actually understands from firsthand experience, so I guess it's definitely a good thing. It was good to be on the receiving end of that feeling today, though.
I'm a bit nervous about the assessment. I'm 24, and they'll have to get my mum in. And that's fine, but it feels awkward having to have my mum in. I never talk about this stuff really, although I have told my mum I was going to the GP for it, but idk. I wish I could just fill in a questionnaire instead of answering questions and worrying about whether they're observing me and looking for signs...
Tbh I don't really know what to expect from the assessment. Any ideas?? :/