Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I'm 24 years old I've thought for years I may have aspergers, but I'm really not sure if it's worth wasting my time or the doctors time, finding out. So, I thought, I'll write down a bit of what I experience here, and if you could give your opinion as to whether it sounds worthwhile?
I've always been a bit socially 'at odds' with everyone else. When I was a kid I didn't have any friends for a while, and when I did, I was terrible at maintaining friendships.. this is the same now.
I have anxiety and depression which were significantly worse when I was in primary school/high school, but I still have it now.
I bite my nails, I have facial tics, I have complex partial seizures (doc said its triggered by anxiety??) I like to rock back and forward and sideto side when i'm excited/nervous/stressed, I have dyslexia and dyscalculia.
I have one of those "no expression faces" and a somewhat "monotonous voice"
I have various interests, but only really seem to have one at a time, and when I have an interest, I like to research it a lot and gather lots of info about it and seemed to get "sucked in". Some examples are: Paganism, mental health, the universe, animals...
I've really had to learn about social situations; I'm quite good at being social but there's just some things that I can't learn, which are: not getting jokes or taking longer than the rest of the group to get the joke, being a bit "slow" in conversations, being tired out by social situations, etc.
also as for routine, I don't have strict rigid routines, but I do get irritable and angry if someone tries to change my plans for the day, or there is a big change and disrupts my day.
I also have some sensory things, like loud noises sometimes physically hurting me so I cover my ears, sometimes get panic attacks from loud noises, not liking physical touch very much, my eyes are very sensitive to light and I have my brightness on my phone and computer down to the lowest, which is still sometimes too bright, and I'm a picky eater.
But at the same time, I don't seem to get other things that i hear a lot of people with aspergers have.
Be honest, what do you think? (obviously I can't write it all down, otherwise this would be a long post!)
The doubts that one is an "impostor" is extremely common for people in your situation - I see it on the various autism forums very regularly. I had the same feelings too: "Well I got to 45 without a diagnoss, so it can't really be can it?".
But actually your factual and concise statement of your traits is quite a good indication that you are on the right track - the way that you've analysed your situation is almost an indication of an autistic trait in its own right, you might say.
Seeing the GP is in some ways the hardest step. They are the link in the chain likely to have the least awareness of autism. But if your online tests are showing that ASD is likely then they should have no reason to reject you, and you have a statutory right to a second opinion from another doctor if you are not satisfied.
A good idea is to take with you a list of the symptoms you've already described to us here, or even a printout of your online test. At this stage you only need to show the GP that ASD is reasonable explanation for what you experience - you don't need cast-iron proof, just an indication that it is worth looking into in more detail.
Hope it all goes to plan. Best wishes.