Published on 12, July, 2020
I am not attracted to the people local to my area, they seem uninteresting.
Yesterday I went to my local supermarket and saw a young lady working there, she was tall, slim with lovely brown hair and, helping an elderly customer, spoke with an accent that was perhaps American or Canadian, I don't know.
I also like the idols I see in music videos and entertainment videos they feature in showing their talent, personality and unique looks.
Once in a while I spot a girl wearing a pretty outfit that catches my eye.
To me they are a breath of fresh air compared to the local people who I find not interesting and run of the mill, no offence intended.
Regarding the title I often prefer women with black or brown hair and brown eyes with a slim or average build not covered in tattoos like most people in my town. I value personality most of all.
Sorry for rambling I am battling heartburn right now and can't sleep.
The whole thrust of our modern society is that it is O.K. to have pretty much any kind of "preference".
Except when it isn't!
Women and Men are often subjected to a "rating system" being allocated a number between 1 and 10.
Knowing your own "number" is perhaps the hardest thing for us Autistics to manage.
A decision to just chase the number 10's is never going to work if you are a 2.5 as I found out the hard way when I was younger.
Winning one, is also worse than losing one, if you are not of a suitable number yourself, has been my experience.
Hi Desolate. You asked for feed back on is it OK to have preferences? Having visual/body preferences tricky for long-term relationships. Men can loose their hair and womens bodies change when having kids. Some skinny people get muscles. Tummies can change. 6 packs can turn into a beer barrel.
I've got a thing about accents. Americans and Canadians are pretty much the only accents I can listen to at length. Which is pretty important with someone you hopefully intend to spend a lot of time talking with. Though my preference for Americans and Canadians could certainly be owed to by how many of them get excited by my Scottish accent. It's an easy ice breaker for someone that doesn't break ice easy.
Other than that... I had a chance to spend some extended time with someone I'd been more than friends with. One thing that stuck with me is that she was so short and light, that when she fell asleep at her desk, I could carry her to her bed and tuck her in. It's something I hope I can do again in the future.
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Desolate, I'm not going to war with you or anyone else, you'd certainly know about it if I were!
I was just picking up on some things from your post, I realise that looks seem much more important to men than women and I'm guessing you are male? I notice you ignored what I said about my preferences, I'm much more driven by someones personality and intellect than their looks. There are somethings I can't overlook, like bad breath and general poor hygene.
Just a tad overreactive there.
You can't change who you are attracted to. It's just biological. So that's fine. It doesn't mean those are bad people just because you don't find them attractive.
Preferences where you do feel physical attraction but decide for some reason you've invented that they're not worthy is a bit different though. But yeah in general preferences are fine, everyone has them, even if they seem arbitrary. I prefer some eye colours and hair colours as well and I have no idea why, it just looks better to me.
Whoa, I'm not disparaging anybody, it's just an opinion.
(edited by moderator) why is everyone so ready to go to war over everything nowadays.
Maybe I'll just shut the *** up from now on then to make everyone happy :)
[edited by moderator] why is everyone so ready to go to war over everything nowadays.
Have you ever tried to get to know the women you disparage so much? How do you know they don't have a great personality?
Obviously looks count and there are things I find unattractive in a man, but I find these matter less if they have a good personality and are intellectually stimulating, the out meat suit becomes less important. If you go chasing the perfection of media personalities and Hollywood actors then you will be doomed to disapontment, what you see is often a carefully crafted public persona and not the reality.
Yes. It wouldn't be realistic to expect you to be attracted to just anyone.
Sexual and romantic attraction is not democratic, everyone has preferences. It is entirely normal.
Most of the women, here, are related to me; somehow.
Plus, they're nearly all Married; now.
I'm 45. So, I would have to get a woman significantly younger.
Everyone has some preferences I don’t know why wouldn’t that be ok. I also don’t like tattoos. For me the looks was always less important, i mean hair, eye or skin color. I always liked someone who has “this something” this magic, usually I liked someone whom my female peers found unattractive. i understand that local people may be boring, because you see them everyday and most of them follow some trend, like for example the tattoos. Where I live also many people have them, even on their whole bodies and faces. I would have been probably scared to date someone like this, it’s just my preference. I have a right to have it.
Well, at least you know your type and what you're attracted to. Everyone has preferences. It could be some kind of biological marker, to expand the gene pool by trying to find something unique and different about people, to diversify genetics. I mean, I guess that's why there's celebrities, people who stand out from the crowd. But I rather blend in, yet I'm terrible at it, and I have the tendency to stick out like a sore thumb. Anyways, I hope your heartburn improves.