I don’t like the quiet ones.

Sorry, but I have very sensitive ear canals and over the ear ear defenders are always quite too tight and itchy, so can I have a set f those lightweight noise cancelling head[hones instead of the earplugs? Bose would be nice if I get a choice...

So.. if you walk into a quiet space where there is not much noise, a quiet gathering of, say, 3 people. Would you feel that group should allow for your pumped up amplitude? Or would you walk away and find a group that matched your amplitude? There are place designed for quiet and those for noise. OR - I imagine it's a question of who was there first, yes? If so I don't see the problem here.

there is that though really... i mean people who want loud can live in cities, people who want quiet can live in more rural areas. although were you live is always about money and cost so thats kinda easier said than done. and a nice quiet area often will get noticed by city types who then will all decide its a nice place to move in and all move in and turn it into a loud ugly city.

I prefer the quiet ones if I'm honest. Loud makes me uncomfortable which is why I wear my headphones every time I have to go out.

A quiet environment is the place for me. A loud environment can quickly turn in to a meltdown or shutdown, best to avoid those if possible.

I'm all in faviour of compromise. the best kind are those where everyone gets what they want. of course obviously not in the same place at the same time.

Peter said:

so to those people who think autism gives them a right to demand quietness, to turn the whole world into a library (and I say  it as someone who likes libraries) I have to say to you respectfully no it doesn’t. Here’s a set of earplugs, deal with it.

So we don’t have a right to quiet, but you do have a right to make excess noise?

That doesn’t sound very fair or equitable does it? Why should your needs trump other peoples’?

Perhaps a bit of compromise and understanding would be better?

Autonomistic said:

I am that stereotype so am I not authentic?

There is a difference between the authentic experience and an authentic experience. It’s the difference between saying ‘autistic people struggle with X,’ or even ‘because I’m autistic I struggle with X,’ and seeing instead ‘like many autistic people I struggle with X.’

The first two tacitly imply that it’s all autistic people can feel that way. and I know you’ll probably tell me you never mean to give that impression. The people who talk that way never mean to do so. They just get so focused on their own experience they forget that it isn’t definitive and that when they’re explaining their flavour of autism to other people who’s understanding they require they need to explicitly explain that other flavours also exist.

Autonomistic said:

The stereotype you have described above 'is really adverse to confrontation'

Well for starters people tend to be a lot more comfortable with confrontation on the Internet. They also tend to be a lot more comfortable if they can do it indirectly or passively, say by complaining to a third-party instead of to your face. But I’m not trying to claim but there is one unified quiet type of autism, there are certainly flavours of quiet confrontation.

what are these loops and where can I get them!!

I've never been to a gig, too many people for me though the noise would likely be too much as well. I prefer listening to records from the comfort and safety of my own home, although, a gig is something I still wish to experience one day... If I can get my anxiety in to a better place where it doesn't affect me as greatly.

I love that we have LCD TVs now because I could always hear a whine from the old CRT TVs.  I often hear it from power transformers too.

i think im probably more stereotype... i have weird hearing where i can still even hear the high pitched cat alarms which your supposedly not supposed to hear past the age of 16 or 18 or something but im nearly 34 now and can still hear those frequencies. i dont like a party because theres nothing to do at parties for me and i cant do the social stuff. so im pretty stereotype.

i hate my background fridge noise that i currently hear constantly making a weird noise that fills my head, the sound makes me feel ill or stressed or something, i expect silence not a constant background whirring noise. especially in my lounge... my kitchen is open to my lounge so i can hear this fridge all the time when im in my lounge.

I've been to two gigs recently where I wore loops for the first time, I was amazed how much cleaner it sounded.  I tend to stand at the back near one of the sides trying to be as out of the way as possible!

I like loud music, but feel anxious when at a Gig. And, when seeing Paul Draper back in March, everyone else was either drinking or on a phone.

Grateful for the music I do know.

I agree sadly my neighbours are very loud and don’t care about how they affect other people. This was largely resolved when they started shouting at me when I asked them to stop their kids kicking a ball off the side of my house. I had a meltdown. Pure rage. They’re much quieter now.

I like music but it needs to be played quietly for me to be able to enjoy it. 

Kate Kestrel said:

In general my attitude is that we should try to be respectful of others, but also have the right to be who we are as long as it’s not harming anyone

Very well said! Seconded!!!

I like quieter environments and people, personally. I find the opposite extremely stressful and overwhelming, and I try to avoid it when I can. That's why I was volunteering in a library, a place that's often quiet with few people where I can spend time without getting overwhelmed and stressed.

I'm fortunate that my family are understanding and supportive. They make sure they never talk too loud and play music too loud, so I don't get overwhelmed and stressed. When I go out I avoid the louder places.

Peter said:

Here’s a set of earplugs, deal with it.

but in truth what offends me the most is them speaking on my behalf. equating autism with this supersensitivity to sound. A lot of us do not get this.

A lot of us do though. I'm genuinely pleased for you that you don't have this because I can say it is by far the most difficult part of autism for me. I have spent a fortune on all kinds of ear plugs, ear defenders, noise cancelling headphones, etc. They do not deal with it and only dampen it slightly to make the sound a little more tolerable. I can still hear a conversation going on at the opposite side of a room, the constant sound of the air conditioning, a reversing bleeper several streets away.

Peter said:

It’s really un helpful when people paint this inaccurate picture of the autistic presentation. You know the stereotype. If you’re autistic you’ve got to be really quiet and painfully polite and a real indoors introvert that would rather deal with animals than people. Someone who can’t stand noise and hates a party and is really adverse to confrontation.

Peter said:

it’s intolerable when other autistic people present the quiet stereotypes as being authentic.

Well you've just described me perfectly. I am that stereotype so am I not authentic?

Every autistic person is an individual and people should not assume what one autistic person is like based upon predetermined beliefs. However I would say the quieter sensory avoiding types are much more common than the louder sensory seeking types.

Peter said:

Have you ever had to interact with a certain type of autistic person who believes that their autism gives them a right to your silence?

The stereotype you have described above 'is really adverse to confrontation' therefore would be unlikely to demand quietness from you or tell you that you're shouting. They would be more likely to just keep as far away as possible from the source of that intolerable noise.

I don't like being around loud people and it doesn't matter whether they're autistic or not.

I understand what your saying here I think. You have your own personal way of autism presenting within you and feel that it's not very well presented widley and even within the autistic community? Please correct me if I've missed the crucial points. 

I think it's perfectly valid to feel like this, you want to feel understood for the way that autism shows up for you personally. 

Peter said:

It’s bad enough that the media gets it wrong, it’s intolerable when other autistic people present the quiet stereotypes as being authentic.

I think we all experience the frustration of misrepresentation of the autistic experience through the media. However, I haven't personally had experience of other autistic folk claiming that the "quiet" way of being is the definitive autistic experience. Being quiet as a result of autism is authentic to autism, just as being loud as a result of autism is authentic to autism. It's all authentic to autism. Autistic people that speak of their own experience can only speak about their own triats and attributes that are authentic to them, it doesn't mean that other traits are any less authentic to autism. 

What's difficult here is that autism is such a massive bubble of differences and diversities that are contradictory to each other. It's a beautiful thing, that there is so much diversity within the bubble we call autism. But it does present the challenges of representing all of it accurately, when there is so much to represent it is often impossible. But it is all authentic to autism as a whole, just not everything will be authentic to personal individual experiences of it. 

I remember being barred from Abrakebabra in Dun Laoghaire, at the start of 2000, for talking too loudly.

Everyone thinks I'm antisocial, whenever I'm trying to do something. Maybe I'm just not good at group conversations.

Ditto.