I don’t like the quiet ones.

I have horrific neighbours. They are verbally rude and in the Summer they are noisey. 

I can handle noise for short periods, but I can't do anything else at the same time. I can either think, or be hearing sounds. Not both.

So music in my earphones while I'm walking down the street? That's ok, although it hurts if I turn the volume up to max so I keep it mid range. People talking while I'm hanging out and not trying to achieve anything? Fine, although louder voices can be painful. Neighbours talking while I'm trying to work? No work is going to get done until they shut up or I manage to block them out.

Noise is physically painful to me. I researched and bought the best industrial ear defenders on the market and wear them, sometimes with earplugs too, which cuts out people talking at normal volumes but not if they are yelling.

If I could have a surgery to remove my hearing, I would.

I understand that some people have hypo rather than hypersensitivity. I have that with light. I love bright sunlight and the kind of bright fluorescent lighting you get in public buildings, and hate dim environments. But I understand that's unusual for autistics and so I put up with dim, dingy environments when hanging out with autistic people as I don't want them to be in pain.

I have two young daughters. Sometimes they do an ear splitting shreak. It genuinely hurts my ears. But I can listen to music on full volume with bass so deep it feels like an earthquake with no problem at all. 

Ticking clocks though.

My head is always noisy. It doesn't really make much difference when the outside world is quiet because my head is always loud... Never any peace. Today I managed to get out for a walk and got to a quiet place but my mind was so loud.

While there are many things I don't like, I've discovered that adopting an unassuming and respectful attitude makes life easier for everyone involved. This Christmas, among the ten of us gathered around the table, four have been diagnosed with ASD Level 2, and another three are likely undiagnosed but show signs of ASD. The rest of the group has encountered various conditions, having at some stage expressed experiencing anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, MDD, or other similar challenges. It's a tough world where many of us are diagnosed with a string of such conditions. The point is, despite all our unique challenges, we seem to have gotten along well in each other's presence by simply being understanding and respectful of one another.

I quietly and reservedly complimented the headphones of the quiet kid I had never met before, and later, he willingly opened up and took pictures of my water-cooled PC as I quietly showed him around my room. While still remaining quiet, he seemed pleased to be interacting. Not long before leaving, the quiet kid's sister immediately joked about handshaking being a manly thing after I had just shaken her hand and then her brother's. However, she felt much more comfortable and accepted when I then gave her a hug. I explained that the heat of the day made me feel sticky and that I had not meant any offense and, in fact, wanted to hug but was unsure. She explained that they were a hugging family, which I was pleased to hear because I too also like to hug.

I'm no angel, as I have had extreme outbursts with people across the street involving police and child welfare intervention, where they are now the ones avoiding eye contact and being less loud and more respectful. Things are not always as they seem when it comes to ASD, let alone people with whatever challenges. Often, many of us learn the hard way, but it helps not to box people in by our likes and dislikes.

Well you can have mental stimulation of an extreme nature without any actual noise. For instance have you ever encountered the phrase ‘kittens.’

One of my friends once upon a time invented a codeword ‘kittens‘ and asserted that any time the codeword was used the topic of the conversation should change because it was freaking people out. So you could say it wasn’t so much of a loud talking but offended some people but the loud ‘topics.’

and we’re not talking about angry shouting matches here, just a couple of good-natured people discussing some contentious issue in an academic or intellectual way, but there’s maybe a third person there who is sitting quietly put off by the topic who wants us to change the topic instead of just moving to another table for five minutes.

I thought this was an absolutely stupid idea. what I should’ve done is owned it and wrecked it from the inside. by calling out kittens every time someone talked about something boring like ‘school catchment areas’ or ‘mortgage rates.’

The thing is, I feel contradicted within myself in terms of sensitivities. Some of it is over sensitive,  some is sensory seeking. A lot depends on control. I learned today some noise can aid concentration (reading a book in a noisy pub) whereas at home I struggle to read if there are any additional noises. In terms of introvert/extravert/ambiver,t  I see this as separate from autism and although introversion is my natural disposition, I flit between these depending on the situation and who I'm with. 

...or on, or ready to don.

Perhaps it's a case by case situation. Perhaps those folks came to the party with a expectation they would find accommodation and don't or they were inexperienced or the noise was higher than usual. so many factors. I don't now that many autistic peopl that would actually go to a party. I don't.

I also don't understand how noise can be metaphorical. That has all kinds of images colliding inn my brain.

bose noise canceling head phones are amazing! I have them around my neck most of the time in public.

I'm rural, but love loud music. It's about being myself. Best of both worlds.

Cities have those who 'Karen' you if their sleep is disturbed. It happened me, in a Neighbourhood Watch area. In Dun Laoghaire; during my Placement Year. On reflection, I was naïve; and wasn't aware of city idiosyncrasies. But it was the slippery slope to the dobbing culture of 2020.

but in my experence it tends to be the other way around. the 'quiet' ones come in to a party and say 'why is it so noisy in here.' mostly metaphoricly but sometimes literaly.

I can see how that first sentance might have been missleading. try reading the first post again omitting that first sentance. you see it bears a difrent interpritation. it's not really about people thinking over sensativity gives them a right to silence (although there are some who think that way). It's about 'quiet' autistic people judging you for being 'loud' because they view it as unautistic. You say how can I be sure 'quietness' (as a tempriment) is a personality trate? The same way I view loudness (again as a teprement) as a personality trait. I might as well say 'oh autism makes me loud' as others might say 'autism makes me quiet.' But those two statements are contradictory. Autism can't make some people loud and others quiet unless there is some 3rd factor at play. I humply submit that factor is personality. Maybe autism makes me more loud and you more quiet that we otherwise might have been without autism but autism doesn't make people quiet.

This thread is about autistic people thinking you are faking autism or using autism as an excuse for 'loud' behavior because in their view autism only causes 'quiet' behavior. Or worse leading other non autistic people to think 'loud' behavior is fake autism. Or that 'loud' autism doesn't deserve the same accomodations 'quiet' autism does.

And in most contexts for my posts in this thread you can substitute shy, introverted, pasive, risk adverse etc for quiet and extroverted, opinionated, thrill seeking etc for loud.

Sorry, but I have very sensitive ear canals and over the ear ear defenders are always quite too tight and itchy, so can I have a set f those lightweight noise cancelling head[hones instead of the earplugs? Bose would be nice if I get a choice...

So.. if you walk into a quiet space where there is not much noise, a quiet gathering of, say, 3 people. Would you feel that group should allow for your pumped up amplitude? Or would you walk away and find a group that matched your amplitude? There are place designed for quiet and those for noise. OR - I imagine it's a question of who was there first, yes? If so I don't see the problem here.

there is that though really... i mean people who want loud can live in cities, people who want quiet can live in more rural areas. although were you live is always about money and cost so thats kinda easier said than done. and a nice quiet area often will get noticed by city types who then will all decide its a nice place to move in and all move in and turn it into a loud ugly city.

test

That's actually different to your OP where you didn't talk about the 'quietness' being a personality trait, for example:

Peter said:

Have you ever had to interact with a certain type of autistic person who believes that their autism gives them a right to your silence?

The goalposts have been moved.

Peter said:

there are some autistic people to act as if autism validates their personality traits and is deeply and synonymously connected with their personality traits of introversion and an aversion to excitement. people knowingly or more often unknowingly do genuinely present these personality traits as being part of their autism.

How are you managing to distinguish on other peoples' behalf what is autism and what is a personality trait when a lot of us would find it hard to make that distinction themselves?

Peter said:

also I’m not convinced that oversensitivity has much to do with quietness. as many have pointed out you can tolerate your own noise much better than others.

It has everything to do with quietness with respect to myself, I can assure you.

I imagine a life without any working senses at all  would be fairly similar for both Autistic and Allistic people alike.  I think there are people like that.  What must life be like for them?

I hope you can find a way to attend a gig one day Lu C.  I've not been to nearly as many as I would have liked to. And my last gig was almost ten years ago.