Published on 12, July, 2020
Have you ever had to interact with a certain type of autistic person who believes that their autism gives them a right to your silence? As an autistic person myself I find it incredibly irritating.
like many autistic people i’m used to getting comments about ‘you’re shouting’ when I’m not shouting but I’m talking more loudly than people expect. For me Stimming can be something as simple as humming a musical under my breath. Something that is likely to indicate that I’m stressed out. In fact I’m more stressed out I am the more likely I am to be making some kind of ‘noise.’ Humming, tapping, singing etc. and of course what stresses me out more is being told I’m making ‘noise’ and I need to stop or else.
absolutely one of the most offensive things you can possibly do is to tell me I am ‘laughing too loud.’ because to enjoy humour and comedy you have to have a lack of self consciousness and it’s absolutely impossible to have a lack of self consciousness if you are worrying about ‘laughing too loud.’
so to those people who think autism gives them a right to demand quietness, to turn the whole world into a library (and I say it as someone who likes libraries) I have to say to you respectfully no it doesn’t. Here’s a set of earplugs, deal with it.
but in truth what offends me the most is them speaking on my behalf. equating autism with this supersensitivity to sound. A lot of us do not get this. A lot of us struggle with social issues; it is after all one of the defining aspects of autism, and it’s really unhelpful when Neurotypicals get the wrong end of the stick and think that autism is just somehow some sort of super sensitive hearing / touch thing. Because from my point of view the thing Neurotypicals really need to understand is how autism affects social interaction.
that is one of the two major things all autistic people share, issues with social interaction. it’s the aspect Neurotypicals tend to really struggle to get their heads around. It’s really un helpful when people paint this inaccurate picture of the autistic presentation. You know the stereotype. If you’re autistic you’ve got to be really quiet and painfully polite and a real indoors introvert that would rather deal with animals than people. Someone who can’t stand noise and hates a party and is really adverse to confrontation. A completely rubbish stereotype that is completely the opposite of people like me.
The person in the room laughing the loudest at the most inappropriate joke. The person who is always trying to stave off boredom and likes a good party and dancing to loud music. The guy looking to turn the conversation to something interesting and weird because every day life is so banal. It would be nice for me personally if we could have a bit of representation among the autistic community that represents me. It’s bad enough that the media gets it wrong, it’s intolerable when other autistic people present the quiet stereotypes as being authentic.
I like quieter environments and people, personally. I find the opposite extremely stressful and overwhelming, and I try to avoid it when I can. That's why I was volunteering in a library, a place that's often quiet with few people where I can spend time without getting overwhelmed and stressed.
I'm fortunate that my family are understanding and supportive. They make sure they never talk too loud and play music too loud, so I don't get overwhelmed and stressed. When I go out I avoid the louder places.
I like loud music, but feel anxious when at a Gig. And, when seeing Paul Draper back in March, everyone else was either drinking or on a phone.
Grateful for the music I do know.
I've never been to a gig, too many people for me though the noise would likely be too much as well. I prefer listening to records from the comfort and safety of my own home, although, a gig is something I still wish to experience one day... If I can get my anxiety in to a better place where it doesn't affect me as greatly.
Have you seen the film Two Lane Blacktop starring James Taylor? It's a good one.
thats all really good advise.
I use these silicon putty plugs that fit just around the ear hole at night. They knock out up to100% depending on the frequency. I also have noise canceling headphones that have settings. - next May I am looking forward to seeing James Taylor at a large outdoor event with my new noise canceling head phones. Being out doors should be easier and feel less hemmed in.
Don't know what sort of gigs you go to, but a handy trick to preserve your hearing is to take eiither in ear earplugs (or be able to diy some out of moistened tissue) and if the music lacks clarity I.E. they are driving the P.A. so hard that the amplifiers are "clipping" then THAT is the time to discreetly fit some earplugs when no one is looking.
And for those who drive do not drive at speed with the window down if you want your right ear to work when you get older.
I hope you can find a way to attend a gig one day Lu C. I've not been to nearly as many as I would have liked to. And my last gig was almost ten years ago.