Traditional / Old Fashioned Thinking

Roy Jenkins Legalised Homosexuality in the 1960's.  Anti racism has a long history going back centuries. Martin Luther King was also assassinated in the 1960's.

So even 60 years ago there were people who opposed homophobic and bigoted views.

These views are not challenged because they are old fashioned. They are challenged because they are wrong.

That's one thing you can let your catholic school off the hook for. It was literally illegal to "promote" anything along those lines. I had a similar experience where it took years of thinking I was straight going through a phase or gay and in denial because to even mention gay people in education would have been bad enough, let alone telling children that there are some people attracted to more than 1 gender. 

as i said its a fine line. 

people can hate anyone they want to hate.... but its a fine line if they cross it too much that it becomes harassing or crosses into that other persons life effect.

alot of people hate me... do you think i should cross into their life and bully them and get laws to force them to like me and praise me? ... id be the bad guy then.

its a fine line... people are free to hate... so long as it doesnt cross the line and become too harassing or has a effect that disadvantages the person... which then can become more complicated when the person who hates another has a position of power such as your boss who can then use his prejudice to hold you back in your career. everyone hates someone though, so it will always be tricky in terms of people with power like your superior.... i know my boss hates me and his hate for me has made him promoted around 7 to 8 juniors above me and held me back. i accept his hate but i draw the line when it comes to having a effect like holding you back in a career. he can hate me all he wants, but there should be professionalism that overrides prejudice

I'm marginally younger than you, 80/90's kid and only figured out recently that I'm non binary and asexual. 

For years I simply couldn't get my head around the concept of non-binary and never heard of asexual.   I knew I wasn't straight so assumed I must be gay had a couple of relationships so I was around the LGBTQ+ community most of the time. 

Not wanting to upset others I took it upon myself to research about gender and sexuality. I read articles by people from the trans community, I listened at prides and finally things started to fit into place in my mind. Once I understood the subject more my mindset changed. These were ways to describe how I felt too, but bigotry and misinformation in my youth made me prejudiced and blinded. (Thank you Catholic school). 

I wish I had advice on the released shackles. Since diagnosis I've found it increasingly difficult to play nice just for the neurotypicals. I'm hoping that will calm down when I stop being so angry that I wasn't diagnosed until now and start understanding my own needs so I can articulate myself better. 

If I had fought and died in the war against Hitler, I don't think freedom for people in Britain to spout hate against minority groups is something I'd see as a noble cause. 

but the other stuff though, i dont care what others do. if a person i see as a man identifies as a woman.... i dont really care, they can identify as batman too if they wanted. so long as they dont impose their ideas onto me and demand that i legit see them as batman... i mean if they demand i call them batman i would do but not sincerely, more of a yeah whatever type thing. 

for me its a freedom thing... and theres a line of freedom that you dont step beyond... like i dont care what they think of themselves as, but yet i dont want them demanding me to see them as that thing... they can identify as a boy and im ok with that, but if i see them as a girl they cant really force change that as thats overstepping their bounds into my bounds and being a dictator. everyone can do or think what they want basically... so long as they dont force others to do or think stuff they dont want... so it is a fine line and alot of people might not agree with that line in places. but i draw the line so as to not interfere or impose upon any side.

and yes, if people hate me for that i agree with their freedom to hate me. i draw the line at them trying to effect my life over their hate though. that is applying my idea. hate me or think whatever you want all you want, that is your life, that is your bounds, that is your mind and emotions and feelings. i have no place to impose or interfere. such as they have no right to cancel me, ban me, try effect me and overstep their bounds... there is clear bounds between each others sides. people have to learn to accept they wont agree with others but thats ok because the others ideas are on their bounds, you dont need to force people to agree with you or like you. and they shouldnt attack you in their hate or disagreement of you.

yeah people shouldnt be cancelled at all and words shouldnt be sensitive.

people fought and died wars for us to be able to have free speech, cancelling people is like spitting on the graves of ww1 and ww2 veterans.

People can (and should) reassess their attitudes over time. My parents were probably raised in vaguely the same time period as you and one of them was raised in a family of massive racists. They didn't just dig in their heels and insist on staying whatever way they were forever though; when they read things or spoke to people they changed and realised that lots of the attitudes we received as young people aren't necessarily a good thing for them to hold close for 80 years.

It's not erasing your history and life experiences to change your view. If anything you're trying to do exactly that by saying "I was raised in the 70s and I refuse to be shaped by anything I've experienced, seen, heard or read in the intervening 40 years". 

Homophobia and racism aren't choices that people should respect and if you still think like that after many of us have spent time here trying to help you learn and grow then I'm not sure what else to say. 

Just because you were raised that way doesn't mean you should stay that way and autism is not an acceptable reason for refusing to learn and grow as a person to be better. 

FrozenHeart is just trying to de-escelate the situation as its clear that this is a heated topic that can go south very quickly.  

If you aren't willing to learn and grow what on an earth are we all doing here? 

GPK26 said:

You know, influenced by as a child. Sorry, but you cannot simply erase history or peoples' life experiences.

Youre right about not being able to erase history or life experiances, but that doesnt mean you have to live in them. I grew up in an abusive family, does that mean I should abuse others? Just because slavary excisted before, does that mean that we should continue to have slaves? 

GPK26 said:

Why should people stop posting on this thread?

I just dont understand why someone would choose to continue writing in something that is causing arguments. Sure the mods havent done anything yet but I think that the forum should be a place where we can all get support and not have to continue arguing. Its not getting anywhere. You are saying your beliefs and people are saying theirs but nobody is even trying to change their view so lets just act like adults and end this conversation.

Of course it existed back in 70's and as you say back 100's or 1000's of years ago.
However, back then it was not as I put earlier "a thing", it was there, but ignored or for a better word oppressed.

Did I say that I like to listen to such jokes? No. The point that I was making (which appears to have been completely misunderstood by all but 1 response) is that was the way things were when I was growing up. You know, influenced by as a child. Sorry, but you cannot simply erase history or peoples' life experiences.

We all have different tastes on here and in general life. We should all respect the fact that we have choices and each person's will be different. I respect the majority of responses to my OP, but I may not agree with all of them.

Former Member Why should people stop posting on this thread? Until the mods / site manager decide otherwise, this thread is as legitimate as any others on the forum.

As I advised earlier, I have emailed the site manager requesting that they review the thread and also used the "report" option to report MY original post.

You know that there is the option to simply not click on thread.

Can everyone stop replying to this post please?

GPK26 said:

I was brought up in an era when....

• Boys had girlfriends and girls has boyfriends
• You were born a boy and died a man
• Men married women
• Humour was not censored
• People weren't "cancelled"

Do you believe that when we were growing up there wasn't homo/bi/sexuality or gender dysphoria/alignment etc?

Homo/bi/sexuality is documented in ancient scripts.

It's simply a part of life - always has been, always will be.

With regard to the humour of the 70s, I'd rather not listen to racist, homophobic and sexist jokes, personally.

I am very glad indeed that this seems to be less acceptable than it once was, at least in some circles.

GPK26 said:

I am not a fan of Gay Pride marches - I mean, its not like we have a white heterosexual march  - if we did, then there would be uproar.

It wasn't illegal to have heterosexual s*x.

That's why.

It was illegal for men to have s*x in the UK until 1967.

It still is in some countries:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-43822234

Here is some history:

https://lordslibrary.parliament.uk/pride-in-the-uk-50-years/

Maybe it would be best if we just stopped writing in this post. We dont need to dig a bigger hole or offending each other.

May I refer you 

MrSolo said:

There are consequences to being an unpleasant person. One of those consequences is that friends and family dislike you.

MrSolo Maybe you should take a read of the rules that FrozenHeart kindly posted above.

Your post implies that I am an unpleasant person and that friends and family dislike me.
Unless I am mistake, I have not inferred any such negativity or labelling to any of the people who have posted on this thread.

You know nothing about my circumstances and appear to also be falling foul of misinterpreting my OP and my posts that have followed. 

Your said it yourself, you're saying the wrong thing. There are consequences to being an unpleasant person. One of those consequences is that friends and family dislike you.

Your top 3 bulletpoints seem pretty clearly to be stating that you think the world has changed for the worse because LGBT people have a presence in it and are allowed to be married. If you're wondering why that seems homophobic, it's because you included them in a list of things you think are bad (advancements in science being in a separate section).

It also seems racist when you talk about white heterosexual marches. That is a pretty common line from people who think minorities should be neither seen nor heard and feel that really equality has come a bit too far. 

Unfortunately this isn't the first time I've seen posts like these. More unfortunately the posters who said these things are still here while quite a few have left because they don't need to deal with this on a support forum. 

He doesn't deny the existence of people like me, he just preferred it when we hid it from the world for fear of being murdered in the streets. It was a much nicer time (for those straight white men who hate anything else). 

I didnt report your post. I even specifically said I wasnt sure if this post was homophobic, I just was trying to prevent an argument to happen and I wanted to make sure everybody was aware of the rules. I do think your post wasnt very necessary, as it seems like you are saying how you are stuck in your traditional thinking but then when Crow Lady respectfully suggested trying to understand those in the LGBTQIA+ community then you just said that you dont like change and will continue with your current thinking. If you had no intent on even trying to accept suggestions then I feel like this post was just a bad situation waiting to happen.