Traditional / Old Fashioned Thinking

As an older person with Autism, I was brought up in very different times with different thinking, values, acceptance, behaviour, etc (1970's & 80's).

The World has changed so much since then - both for better and worse.
There have been so many advancements - particularly in science and this has benefitted us ASD'ers immensely.

One thing that is troubling me is that I hold a lot of "principles" that in this day and age would be considered "Old Fashioned", "Traditional", maybe even "Bigotry" or worse.
There are things that I struggle to understand or accept which are based on my traditional attitude. I was brought up in an era when....

  • Boys had girlfriends and girls has boyfriends
  • You were born a boy and died a man
  • Men married women
  • Humour was not censored
  • People weren't "cancelled"

I openly discuss or rant about these topics along with some others that may be considered taboo with closed friends and family who have all become somewhat numb to my outrageousness / inappropriateness.

I have however managed to "behave" in public (stayed on the right side of the law), but occasionally do mutter things with a level of cowardice.
My concern is that now that I am officially autistic, the shackles of having to mask may have been broken and that has the potential of me saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

  • My grandmother and your mother's homes were food health hazards No entry signNo entry

  • I also stock up.  But I practice regular food rotation and I put aside time to check dates.  My oldest tin is dated best before March 2024.

    My mother was much much worse, she also stocked up sugar and flour in bedroom cupboards, because there wasn't enough room in the kitchen.  The bedroom was damp and ten years worth of flour became mouldy and the whole lot was thrown away.

  • I think we shared the same mother.

    One quirk of my exceptionally quirky  mother was that she didn't see the fridge as something you just kept food in so everything else went in there too (eg. saucers of nails, screws - anything).

    It was just another space to fill up with 'clutter'.

  • I bet you could hear a voice in your head,” there’s nothing wrong with that food, there’s starving children in Africa who would gladly eat that!” My parents were both war children, it was just installed into them to not waste anything. My Nan would have 20 kilos of sugar and boxes of tea in the pantry. “ you don’t want to runout.”

  • Back to the tales of my mother, there were food shortages and panic buying in the mid 1970s, that affected her permanently, she stocked up food in bedroom cupboards, when she passed away in 2011 I found dry pasta packets with a best before date 1988.

  • to be fair voting is a very new rare thing in the world. all through most history no one voted as we all had dictatorships. so there was never a right to vote as there was no voting system.

    i dont vote myself now... because i dont believe in the current system of voting for a party.

    its not really voting for policy or ideas, your voting for a party to delegate your votes on policy to so they can dictate. basically your voting for a dictator in a elective dictatorship system. 

    the only thing id vote on is individual policy, like we did with brexit. but everything needs to be like that. that system would be true democracy. the current one of voting for a party as i said is elective dictatorship.... the party you vote for does every policy change without your say so on the matter and you cant agree with everything a party does, you may vote them in for one  policy you agree on but then all the other 100000 policies they have you may disagree on so you just voted on lots of things you disagree on. thats why the party system is a failure.

  • No, any food. My sister stayed over at mother’s about a year ago, she found a chicken ready meal in the freezer, nuked it and ate it. She was sick for nearly a week. The meal was only 5 years out of date. A favourite is bonfire night, she will turn up with tortilla crisps and dips, the bag will have a peg on it and the dips are half used, obviously from the previous bonfire night.  Some tinned food is from supermarkets that either changed logo long ago or don’t exist anymore. Nothing unusual to find a 10 year old tin.

  • Yes, sometimes the birthday cakes have had birthdays Sweat smileNauseated face

  • It’s a well known thing with me and my siblings, at my mothers house we check everything before eating it. Some food has had birthdays!

  • This brings back memories of my late mother.  She arrived in the UK in 1957 and struggled to adapt to 20th century urban life.  Whenever she disagreed with us she called us silly.

    As children we didn't have a fridge in the house. Milk was kept in a bucket of cold water in a dark cupboard, it always went off overnight, so milk and fresh food had to be bought almost every day.  When I suggested we buy a fridge. She went all pompous and said slowly " don't be silly..... Supermarkets..... Restaurants.....only these places have fridges. Nobody has one in their house.

  • I lived with my grandmother at times in Bradford in the 90s. I introduced her to her first fridge, until then she'd only stored foods that needed to be kept cool in her cellar. She never really got the hang of the fridge and would treat herself to ice cream but leave it in the refrigerated area of the fridge not the freezer compartment and would end up eating the melted ice cream like a bowl of soup. She would tend to keep perishables too long. I would get my fingers burnt with that at times e.g. I was setting off out one evening and grabbed a Quality Street from her tin on my way out. It was dark as I made my way to the bus stop and I popped the chocolate into my mouth without looking at it or being able to see it properly at that time of night. I can still remember the mouldy taste I experienced rather than the pleasant flavour I was expecting and promptly spat it out Upside down

  • I've voting for this Joe, as my President of the World.

  • OK, so I check in on the forum irregularly at the moment and was a bit confused by what was now going on. Come on people, give your heads a wobble.

    Ever have there been people protecting the status quo and those fighting for social change.  Without the former we wouldn't have tradition and without the latter none of us would have the right to vote.

    Age is no excuse.

    What are you doing to help make the world a better place for everyone? 

    There are people asking for help not answered, I don't have the answers but some of you do. Let's get back to helping each other.

    Thank you.

  • I'm not a fan of aniseed, but I do like liquorice.

  • Do you mean 'Use by' dates, or in fact 'Best before' dates, as there is a difference? Consuming items with an expired 'Use by' date (perishables) can make you feel unwell, whereas items with an expired 'Best Before' date (non-perishables) are unlikely to make you unwell, but may not taste as pleasant.

    The older generations were known to hold onto non-perishable items that had long since passed their 'Best before' dates. I can remember helping my great-grandmother to make a trifle once. After adding the 'hundreds and thousands' supplied with the trifle, she decided the trifle needed more decorations. In her pantry, she had a variety of edible cake decorations that must have reached their 'Best Before' date at least a decade earlier.

    I'm willing to admit that I too will use food items with an expired 'Best Before' date. Sometimes I will notice a difference in taste (less flavour), but sometimes I won't. However, if I have unused items with an expired 'Use by' date, then I would rather not take my chances. I remember being rather unwell after drinking some milkshake made with milk with an expired 'Use by' date... I hadn't realised it had expired. All I can say is never again!

  • also their generation of sweets were disgusting and not sweet at all... some weird tasting stuff.

    like annaseed or liquorice and that kind of horrible taste that to me doesnt taste like a sweet. tastes weird, like plastic and oil.

  • i just thought of some old fashioned ideology and thinking after i came back from my parents.

    older gens they used to just keep everything beyond their use by date and not believe in use by dates.... even when clearly the item doesnt taste anywhere near as good theyd still keep it and consume it when the taste has clearly gone horrible and you can taste its past its date. this whole attitude of thinking the use by dates are a lie and that somehow food doesnt go off and food going off is a modern idea and food back in their days lasted for millennia until you used it. thats one traditional old mindset i wont mind seeing the end of because you really can taste when the food is off its date lol but old people just ignore it and pretend its still fine. 

    i guess back in their day resources and food was more scarce so you put everything to use even if its out of date and tastes horrible. they still consumed it and pretended it was totally fine, perhaps a thing to show they was grateful for anything they got even when its off. as they had much less and less options back then perhaps. but yeah, seriously thats one thing they need to get with the times one, they need to take use by dates a bit more seriously and enjoy fresh good tasting products for once.

  • Without being pedantic, I would say a resounding YES to your question.