How many friends have you got or had?

Yes, I’d love a hug (after getting over jumping away from the person) or just to cuddle up on the sofa watching TV. My cat does his best but it’s not the same.

Good afternoon all. I am starting to make friends from around the country through different disabled forums and chats. But regarding to your question. I have no friends who I can actually go and have a cuppa with or a natter too. This is because I am highly critical of the friends I do have. One of the important things that many NT let me down with is honesty. As soon as they start lying or me or get found out that is it 'goodbye'. I am like many of you who is alone and lonely.. But one thing I have taught myself is how to enjoy my own time.. And believe it or not it actually does help. I use many things as a distraction technique to combat loneliness. But the thing I miss above all is a nice prolonged cuddle.. Many on the spectrum I appreciate does not like being touched and in a sense, I am somewhat similar. But yeah above all, that is the one thing I really do miss.

I had a few, but they mostly ditched me after a while either because I'm boring or too anxious. Now I have one friend, and we're not close like we used to be either.

I also feel pretty alone. It's hard to see how things can change. 

Hard to say. There are probably 50-100 people that I see regularly through my hobbies and know well enough to chat to about what's going on in our lives or invite to something else I'm doing, but I never know where the boundary lies between friend and acquaintance.

I had friends in primary school but in adulthood I’ve never really had friends although I sometime mistakenly thought people were friends. I have no one at all now.

Being alone is no fun at all is it.

I have two friends from school that I have a Skype call with every week, we meet up every now and then. I have friend who was a neighbour when we were children, who now lives in Australia, we keep on touch. I meet up with 3 former work colleagues for lunch every few months. No one close enough geographically to see very regularly. 

In my school years I only ever had between 1-3  in the infants/juniors, and I had 2-5 in secondary, after I left school and went to work for the first time I had as many as 5 legitimate friends and something like 8 or 10 acquaintances, friends of friends kind of a deal, but it was very difficult and exhausting to maintain. And as we all moved house scattering to the four winds I had the chance to politely ghost a lot and cut the number down, Now I have maybe 3 friends and a small handful of friendly aquaintances.

I figured out quite early on the key to making actual friends I could really click with was to look for the other odd ducks, and people who were into my non-mainstream interests. So a lot of the people I have been friends with are other metalheads, bikers, other arty and creative types, people who I'd always have a fall-back subject to talk to about. Many were not introverts either, it can be good to find extroverts as an introvert as they are more likely to invite you along to things so you don't become totally insular. You need to meet people who are different enough from you to keep the chat interesting but similar enough that there are no big dramas, ie having similar ethical and moral standards. I have thought of going out friend hunting again, a few clubs that are in or verge on my interests have popped up in town, but tbh I don't have the time in the day anymore like I used to.

If you have the free time to spend friend hunting and maintaining those connections though that's the advice I would give: Find interest heavy subcultures, half different half similar, ambivert groups, and look for the other odd ducks.

Well, I really screwed up over the years because I overloaded my life. I was eager to make connections (too eager) and I didn't really give myself the opportunity to focus on a select few and give them my energy, rather than spread my energy really thinly. At the top of last year, I would have called 25-30 people my friends. By the end of the year it was more like 12.

I lost them all earlier this year, but when I think back now there were only about 6 people by the end that I genuinely felt happy with and connected to. And fully comfortable around.

Right now I'm just allowing myself to adjust to my own company. I became too reliant on other people, too needy when it came to reassurance and validation.