How many friends have you got or had?

In my school years I only ever had between 1-3  in the infants/juniors, and I had 2-5 in secondary, after I left school and went to work for the first time I had as many as 5 legitimate friends and something like 8 or 10 acquaintances, friends of friends kind of a deal, but it was very difficult and exhausting to maintain. And as we all moved house scattering to the four winds I had the chance to politely ghost a lot and cut the number down, Now I have maybe 3 friends and a small handful of friendly aquaintances.

I figured out quite early on the key to making actual friends I could really click with was to look for the other odd ducks, and people who were into my non-mainstream interests. So a lot of the people I have been friends with are other metalheads, bikers, other arty and creative types, people who I'd always have a fall-back subject to talk to about. Many were not introverts either, it can be good to find extroverts as an introvert as they are more likely to invite you along to things so you don't become totally insular. You need to meet people who are different enough from you to keep the chat interesting but similar enough that there are no big dramas, ie having similar ethical and moral standards. I have thought of going out friend hunting again, a few clubs that are in or verge on my interests have popped up in town, but tbh I don't have the time in the day anymore like I used to.

If you have the free time to spend friend hunting and maintaining those connections though that's the advice I would give: Find interest heavy subcultures, half different half similar, ambivert groups, and look for the other odd ducks.

In my school years I only ever had between 1-3  in the infants/juniors, and I had 2-5 in secondary, after I left school and went to work for the first time I had as many as 5 legitimate friends and something like 8 or 10 acquaintances, friends of friends kind of a deal, but it was very difficult and exhausting to maintain. And as we all moved house scattering to the four winds I had the chance to politely ghost a lot and cut the number down, Now I have maybe 3 friends and a small handful of friendly aquaintances.

I figured out quite early on the key to making actual friends I could really click with was to look for the other odd ducks, and people who were into my non-mainstream interests. So a lot of the people I have been friends with are other metalheads, bikers, other arty and creative types, people who I'd always have a fall-back subject to talk to about. Many were not introverts either, it can be good to find extroverts as an introvert as they are more likely to invite you along to things so you don't become totally insular. You need to meet people who are different enough from you to keep the chat interesting but similar enough that there are no big dramas, ie having similar ethical and moral standards. I have thought of going out friend hunting again, a few clubs that are in or verge on my interests have popped up in town, but tbh I don't have the time in the day anymore like I used to.

If you have the free time to spend friend hunting and maintaining those connections though that's the advice I would give: Find interest heavy subcultures, half different half similar, ambivert groups, and look for the other odd ducks.