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Wanting friends

Tina

Have you ever had a true friend someone who liked you and didn't judge you? I've been looking for a friend like that, what I would call a true friend. But I've never found anyone like that, in person or online. I feel lonely a lot of the time, I've only got my family but no friends at all.

  • I’ve never had a friend like that. I can’t even imagine it to be honest. Making friends as an adult is really hard, and with autism in the mix it feels impossible.

  • I'd love an opportunity to be a friend like that to someone! I feel lonely all the time.

    Please feel free to send me a pm.

  • Yes I have. But only when I started university and I only have very few true friends and mostly not living in same city or country anymore. Most of my friends are true friends- they stuck with me and supported me when I went through tough times- that’s when you can really tell how good your friends are.

  • in reply to Sam

    I feel you on that. I know that I've been too mechanical about what a friendship should be but I never wanted to hear it from people who didn't actually know me very well (because they didn't understand why that was my thinking).

    I would never tell someone that they've upset me or hurt me unless it got really upsetting, which didn't help my relationship with that person.

    I feel like I'm being difficult if I assert myself.

  • I tend to have issues maintaining friendships/relationships (family included) but not necessarily making friends.

    Sometimes people have said that I have unrealistic expectations of what a friend should be but I’ve came to learn that I struggle to find the words to communicate how I feel when they have upset me and people struggle to understand why I am upset.

    I also struggle to be able to accept that people have upset me as I often feel like I shouldn’t be annoyed and I’ve just misunderstood something. Not acknowledging it just builds resentment. 

  • I've never had any friends either :-/ 

    My first taste of friend's has been here to be honest and that's the best kind of friendship for me because it means no in person interaction

    And that's what I struggle with most of all! So this is ideal and perfect for me :) 

    I've met some of the best people here this community is amazing ^^

  • Hi, I've always struggled with this too, for me it about how comfortable I am with someone. I don't really have friends as such, I have work colleagues but if they left tomorrow it won't alter my life in any way. I suppose it's on how you are wired, I don't really need friends, I have a wife and dogs so I'm pretty much self contained. 

    Maybe find people with similar interests whether it's and exercise class, book club, volunteering etc.

    When you feel like a square peg it can be a little daunting. Maybe that's why I don't activity engage with others, I often find it difficult to gauge others levels and degrees of interest. But that's me, we're all different.

  • I'm a bit funny with that because I only realised that I did actually have that once I lost them (because I did something stupid).

    I used to question if they liked me or not but someone willing to tell me that they love me and meet me in person is surely a sign that they care about you and won't judge?

    I think that fear of judgement is always there though and I wish I got a handle on it earlier, because I think it held me back from being vulnerable and accessing support.