Published on 12, July, 2020
Have you ever felt that you are not growing up properly?
That other people are more adult than you?
I've often felt that my peers are properly 'grown-up' and I'm not.
It's partly to do with still being in touch with the child within I think, but also to do with reaching the stages we are meant to at the 'wrong' times in life, or not reaching them at all.
I assume now that this is because of autism.
So, I missed out on the having children stage completely.
1st serious boyfriend in my 30s.
Mortgage in my 30s, but only because of the compensation from a traffic accident.
Marriage in my 50s.
Sometimes it's as if life is going on around you and you stand still.
I'm happy with where I am now but am very conscious that I've 'missed out' on quite a lot of life.
I'd have liked to have had a career but then again, maybe that would have been too stressful.
I'd have liked to have studied for a degree.
These are 'life achievements' that have passed me by.
Does this resonate with anyone?
I had a friend of a friend at my house yesterday and we discussed his son.
His son is 23 and has just received an autism diagnosis.
He lives at home still and has had meltdowns each time he has tried to work.
He doesn't have friends and doesn't enjoy socialising.
He stays in his bedroom on the PC most of the time.
The parent I was with is a very caring person and was concerned about his son missing out on the 'normal' life stages.
He was saying about the things he had been doing at the same age and is worried about how his son will be if himself and his wife die.
I tried to reassure him that this behaviour is quite usual for an autistic person.
He mentioned that myself and my autistic friend (the joint acquaintance, who was also present) had done more things by the same age eg. left home, degree (not me), job etc.
I pointed out though that both of us were very unhappy at home.
I had to escape so I did but I'd have stayed happily at home if I'd had my own bedroom and a different mother.
So, this thread came to mind.