In my 50's finding out I have Autism & ADHD

I have a question. Why did your workload have to change? Did the diagnosis change who or what you are? I’m sincerely asking. 

Like u I am embarking on this endeavor late in life. 63. The very few relatives I have confided on dismiss it out of hand. I have never confided in any of them as I have a few friend. I told one of them the other day and knowing me better than most of my family ( probably all my family) just says, ‘yeah that fits’. So I dunno, if I am or not but a lot of things do seem to be fitting. I’m retired so I have time to get diagnosed if I decide to. But even with a diagnosis I don’t know if I’d believe it. But I absolutely know there is and always has been SOMETHING different about me. And it’s not like others haven’t observed that! But like me, they just couldn’t put my finger on it as obviously I’m high functioning. Maybe there is an actual explanation? I think I would get some satisfaction out of that for better or worse. Pretty sure I’m still gonna die alone though. I don’t mean that to be provocative or anything. It’s just something I’ve felt at least since the age of 23. I have a hard time maintaining long term relationships. A lot of that sounds like a major drag but actually I’m more content now than I have been in years. 

Good on you and keep going! I was diagnosed last year aged 56. Feeling better about it all now. Some people don’t understand but as others have said it’s their problem. My boss has been very supportive so I’m lucky there. Take care and all the best. I still have difficulties but now I know why.

Joe said:

I already do or had in place which I didn't realise,

Oh yes.  Boom does the resonance canon in my head.  I'm quite proud of my naive-self pre-autism awareness by just how many "special measures" I had put in place to accommodate my autistic needs.  For me, the things I had done (and continue to do) where highly diagnostic of my underlying reality.

Hi,

I'm early 50s and diagnosed in January. I'm currently looking at reasonable adjustments with my manager. There are a number of things I already do or had in place which I didn't realise, like needing instructions backed up in writing or a record of conversations.  At the moment we're looking at whether I can have a fixed desk when in the office.  I don't know what else might help - I'm still getting my head round the idea that other people don't have the same background level of stress and environmental issues to navigate!

Familes, similar, I messaged one sister when a wee bit tipsy asking 'why don't you talk to me about this?'. We then had a convo for an hour which was good although I wish I'd been a bit more sober.  Another is on my FB so saw the posts I put up for acceptance week, so hopefully read those but we've not talked about it.  The third one I tried to talk to when i was going through the process but seemed sceptical so i gave up. I've noticed my dad seems to switch the sound off on the TV now when i ring - not sure if that's a coincidence or maybe one of my sisters said something but previously always struggled to understand when I could hear every word of Sky Sports News in the background.

Don't feel bad about work, you'll have talents they don't have and part of working with others for me is about recognising that.

I feel more accepted and understood here than anywhere else I have been.  Moreover, people seem to understand what I am talking about most of the time too.  Like I say, this ain't a bad place to be !

Hi

Thanks for your welcoming reply  You’re right- I think I’ve got through the day feeling dazed and a bit out of it! I’ve never felt like I’ve belonged anywhere but I’ll stay on this site because I think hearing about the experience of other people will help me. 

Best wishes

Welcome to the "late diagnosed wtaf club.". There are many of us here in various states of "dazed and confused...but probably better than ever before" ...... followed by "no wait, is this it" ... but hopefully always with a new sense of "well at least *I* know now."

I look forward to running into you again if you feel like sticking around.  This ain't a bad place to be.

Kind regards

Number.

At this point I’m not sure if I’ll tell anyone at work because I don’t want it to negatively affect perceptions of my ability to do my job effectively. 

Hi. I’m 58 and received confirmation this morning of something I already knew. Interesting that someone else actually picked up on it. Not sure how I feel about it yet but initially feel very sad for my younger self struggling to get through life feeling so bad about myself. 

Thank you 

You are very. Thank you  

Thank you

Other than the fact I am still in the pipeline for diagnosis (albeit with 3 sets of screening under my belt, including RAADS-R which indicated a strong positive), and am male, this could very much have been written about me.

From this perspective, I very much understand, especially the unanswered childhood/adulthood questions aspect.  My work is aware and are understanding, but I still have about 15m on the waiting list (according to the last time I checked in).

The isolation is intolerable sometimes, and just hits other areas of my mental health.

You are not alone, and neither, it would seem, am I.

I'm in my early 40's and have just been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, after years of misdiagnosis (BPD/PTSD/Bipolar). My husband is very understanding but the rest of my family (I had a difficult childhood) don't 'do' any kind of support for health issues so I've not disclosed my diagnosis to them as it will be ignored and I don't have the capacity to deal with it. If your family are willing to learn about Autism the book 'Untypical' by Pete Wharmby is very informative and an excellent guide to neurodiversity. 

Hi NAS

Nah, you are far from alone. We're all hanging out here with similar issues. Hope we are helpful

I was diagnosed as autistic last year at the age of 57, my Mum is very supportive, as after watching TV programmes recently she realises that she is likely autistic too. Other family members just do not get it, so I'll probably have very little contact with them, they just see me as "odd". 

That's a great idea I will look into this