Published on 12, July, 2020
I am trying to come to terms with this after finding out over a year ago. I'm a high functioning female I'm lucky because my workplace is supporting me with reasonable adjustments ie my workload, but this is making me feel worthless like I'm being carried my colleagues are great & don't feel this...I sometimes wish I didn't know, but then it's answered alot of questions from my childhood & adulthood. I am v close to my family but any mention of this hits silence...iv been assured by friends its maybe because they don't understand or know what to say. I understand this but I feel v isolated. I have joined this group in the hope that others understand...I have alot of traits for both ASD & ADHD.
Like u I am embarking on this endeavor late in life. 63. The very few relatives I have confided on dismiss it out of hand. I have never confided in any of them as I have a few friend. I told one of them the other day and knowing me better than most of my family ( probably all my family) just says, ‘yeah that fits’. So I dunno, if I am or not but a lot of things do seem to be fitting. I’m retired so I have time to get diagnosed if I decide to. But even with a diagnosis I don’t know if I’d believe it. But I absolutely know there is and always has been SOMETHING different about me. And it’s not like others haven’t observed that! But like me, they just couldn’t put my finger on it as obviously I’m high functioning. Maybe there is an actual explanation? I think I would get some satisfaction out of that for better or worse. Pretty sure I’m still gonna die alone though. I don’t mean that to be provocative or anything. It’s just something I’ve felt at least since the age of 23. I have a hard time maintaining long term relationships. A lot of that sounds like a major drag but actually I’m more content now than I have been in years.