The things that have helped you most?

Where would Autistic people be without the internet?  Is it our saviour or is it our major hindrance?  My parents generation (i'm 40) seem to have been forced out into the world more.  I think they may have ultimately benefited from this.

Whereas i have been able to talk to anyone anywhere in the world since i was 18.  It's been a distraction, but one i have developed a sickly addiction to.

It's not a religious or a traditionalist thing for me though. It's purely a mental health thing, and technically these old style forums are a form of social media too it's just the modern platforms are designed to be addictive and influence people and manufacture outrage where none need exist. I'll probably let my son on the internet free-range at 16-18 as that's the age I did and it did me no harm, I already knew who I was by that age and the unqualified opinion of haters online couldn't dent it by that age. I do think modern parents make a mistake letting kids online at 10-13 though, that's when they are most susceptable to bigotry, body image nonsense, predators, and extremist rubbish.

I'm not officially diagnosed yet - hopefully this summer, but here are my things that help me out:

- Reading - especially reading my Kindle, snuggled down in bed in the dark.
- Routine - I always have a special routine on my work days (Mon, Wed, Thurs, Sat and Sun). If I have to go out of my routine, it makes me feel like the whole day has gone wrong. I'm a bit more relaxed on my days off though.
- Speaking to the same people I trust - like my partner, family (most of), friends at work and a few people at the coffee shop next door.
- Being in my own space - my bedroom is my sanctuary. It's where I spend pretty much all day in (on my days off), apart from going into the bathroom and kitchen. 
- My pets - I have 1 cat (Winnie), 1 leopard gecko (Leo), 2 corn snakes (Inca and Selu), 1 dwarf hamster (Minx) and 2 tarantulas (Truffle and Genie).
- My crystals - especially my large Quartz point which goes with me everywhere.
- My toy cat - who is named Molly and goes with me when I go on holiday and occasional hospital appointments.
- My Loop Earplugs - which I use when I am outside in large traffic areas.

Wow - I hadn't realised I depended on so much to be honest. Hope this helps other people understand me a little more.

Mweekie

The one about trains and headphones is important on Transport For Wales and Avanti out of Manchester when one has to change trains at Chester for Holyhead (for the ferry to Dublin) - the announcements on the Irish Rail DART trains and Dublin LUAS trams are even more annoying than the Manchester Metrolink trams and more recently Dublin Bus and Bus Éireann/Transport for Ireland coaches have started these onboard announcements which is so annoying 

Going to a park or other quiet place in nature to feel God’s Presence and to Pray the Rosary 

The advice about staying off all social media is a good one, especially post-Covid - my younger cousin and her husband , (although non-autistic) are traditional Irish Catholic patriots and have a young family and are determined to raise them in the traditional way, as our grandparents would have done in my home County in Rural Ireland - the eldest of 3 is 10 now and my cousin ditched all of her tech devices and quit her job after her first child was born to become a full time mother despite the financial pressures involved - there is no TV, Internet/broadband, radio, newspapers nor mobile phones at all allowed in the family home, the family, being devout traditional Catholics, pray the Rosary in Latin together as a family daily and attend Traditional Latin Mass as a family every Sunday - the children are all homeschooled, learn all about Irish history and go on pilgrimages to Knock Shrine, Croagh Patrick, Lough Derg and go to the Gaeltacht every summer, so are all fluent Irish Gaelic speakers and are a credit to her, very well behaved, will not be going to university and will enter a trade when they are old enough - they will only be deemed to become adults when they reach the age of 21 and (not) 16 or 18 and they also have daily chores that they must complete before 6pm, as my cousin and her husband want to instill discipline and traditional moral and social values, about which they are totally uncompromising yet correct 

I don't have many coping strategies, so it's good to read other people's, even though I struggle to apply them to the unique points of my own life. I do write (blog) to process my thoughts and feelings and sometime get useful feedback comments from online friends. I need lots of alone time too and am trying to be off the computer/phone more, although it's hard. Listening to music on headphones helps a bit when in crowds or shopping; I'd like to try noise-cancelling ones, although I'm worried about missing important announcements on the Tube, like the one that said my train was suddenly going somewhere completely different the other day (I would be pleased to miss some other Tube announcements, like the frequent "See it, say it, sorted" anti-terrorism announcements). I guess also walking in nature, although I rarely get the chance, and being with my wife (we're still long-distance).

Writing to process my feelings is important to me too, and alone time.

I watch mostly classic (old) TV. I don't do it consciously because modern TV is too fast and loud, but I think it's an unconscious reason.

Oakling said:

Writing my thoughts and feelings somewhere (like here) in order to explore them properly.

My MH team suggested I do this. It can help me when things are getting too much and the pressure starts to build. 

I want to add, as atm I'm finding that I'm not connecting to people with my interests, reaching out to the right people with specific interests. My school friends for example, aren't interested in art, so it's a waste of time trying to engage them here

Love the idea of weights, just need to find some motivation! Time, a simple idea but a profoundly important consideration. Using this forum to explore your emotions is a great note, I find this to help massively

Animals are such a great way to reset ey, and I should definitely find a therapist

These are some great ideas, love the fluffy blanket one, I do that but hadn't even noticed I was doing it! Lol

For me, I have found the following to help me greatly:

1. Time. Allowing myself the time to process my diagnosis. This is a long process and is full of ups and downs. I need to allow myself all the time it takes. This extends into other aspects of my life too though, so is very transferable.

2. Writing my thoughts and feelings somewhere (like here) in order to explore them properly.

3. Alone time. This is a chance for me to stim, explore hobbies and explore my special interests. This time is important and purely for me.

4. Intense physical exercise. For me, that involves weightlifting, but others enjoy more cardio focused activities.

5. Music and reading. I enjoy both of these things, so they really help me to escape reality whenever I feel the need.

6. Keeping an eye on my energy levels in order to avoid burnout. Learning to say no to others, in order to preserve energy in times of need, is a really important skill.

There will be lots more, but these are where I’ve landed so far.

I may have to steal one of these for my list because I literally forgot I do it until I read your post. XD

Things that help me:

• Breaking down big tasks into lots of little pieces to prevent overwhelm/help executive dysfunction
• Reading lots about the experience of other autistic adults to know I'm not alone
• Owning a pet- my dog doesn't judge me, people accept his need for routine more than mine, stroking his fur is a sensory joy and a stim that doesn't bother anyone (quite the opposite, in the dog's opinion!)
• Noise cancelling headphones
• Therapy to deal with the trauma of going through school as an undiagnosed autistic kid
• Natural light, which is the opposite of whatever sensory hell is going on with fluorescent lights in shops

• Staying off social media. *
• Not camoflaging/masking unless I absolutely have to.**
• Accept the stimming and just filter it into more subtle forms.
• Lean into comfort things, fluffy blankets, old movies, calm music etc.
• Give up meat and dairy,  andy anything else that is too difficult to digest, nothing wrong with topping up on fortified foods and multivitamins if you need to.
• Call people I'm going to meet on the phone before I meet them in person. ***
• Breaking down big tasks into lots of little pieces to prevent overwhelm/help executive dysfunction (BattyBats reminded me I do this so I stole it.)

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Skip this next bit  tbh I just felt compelled to write explainations for some of them.

* I'm of the opinion everyone should be off social media anyway, since the advent of sites like MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Parler, Whisper, and TikTok the human psyche has been horribly damaged. The Ad for them should read "Want to invite a slury of cults into your house in the next 5 mins? Then YOU should join Social Media!" XD

** If I'm going to meet new people I weigh up the pros and cons of just being open about being autistic from the start. But I never mention it in forms unless I really have to, I like to have control over who does and doesn't know so a document just existing to get read by anyone willy nilly is not something I want out there. AFAIC it's my diagnosis my business, nobody else's. If I don't want to mask or the mask slips and they think I'm a bit odd so be it, I'll deal with that when I'm good and ready. But Almost everyone outside of a professional work related setting just gets hit with it right off the bat like "Hi I'm Sam, if I do or say anything that seems like it could be a bit autistic that's because I am."

*** Because I don't have to look them in the eyes on the phone or worry about what I look like, I find it helpful to have a polite chat even if it's just a short "Hi _name_, I'm just calling to confirm our meeting is in _location_, and at _time_ is that correct? Yes okay then, that's great, thank you, see you then." and after that goes well they are 1, not a total stranger anymore, and 2, because their tone will be pleasant I can chase away thoughts that they must instantly hate me for no apparent reason when we actually meet face to face, which makes teh actual meeting more relaxed.
If there is more than one person in the actual meeting I will just focus on the person I already spoke to on the phone, and give a courtesy glance at teh other person only when they speak specifically.

YES. Although I don't know if specifically for NT world I think it's just how things have progressed. Humans have a much shorter attention span now thanks to the Internet.  I hate the Just eat adverts voice over. Watch progs and adverts from yesteryear and the pace is much slower.

I find a lot of movies are way too fast paced and loud. It ruins it for me, makes it harder to follow and stay interested.