The things that have helped you most?

You can pick second hand weights up quite easily for a reduced price, but also, there are lots of really reputable online retailers that are fantastic. I’ve built a home gym this way, as I really didn’t get on with a public gym. But also, motivation takes time. I’m learning to not be hard on myself if I miss a day. It’s a lifelong process after all.

It’s a slow process at first, but it really is helping. I hope it does for you too.

Writing is newer to me, but I’m finding I’m doing it more often now. Much nicer than hitting myself!

Thanks! I must admit though, this is something I was taught about by users on here when I first joined. Someone told me about ‘Spoon Theory’ for the first time on here and I have worked with this in mind this ever since. I’ve still got work to do in this area (the saying no part) but progress is being made everyday.

This website helps because I have discovered that other people share my problems and I'm not alone.

"A bee swarm" is somehow less pleasing to read (for me) than a swarm of bees....

I wonder why that is?

I'm so glad you posted this.  It's made me think about what does help me and that at the moment I don't seem to be able to 'focus' on anything I'm just jumping around everything for short burst but can not settle, think I'm in a shut down

Usually things that make me comfortable.

Music - usually 80's stuff but I enjoy just about every type of music

Crochet - I need to keep my hands and mind occupied

Reading - romance - fiction - detectives - thrillers

Gardening - which at the moment because it's so cold its a no go 

Being out walking with hubby (wonderful human) and our dog - see my profile piccie

Movies - again just something to switch off my mind

I think of all the lists I'm reading, your item number 6 may just be one of the best I've read, it makes so much sense.

I Sperg said:

When their governments then decided to smash up their previous societal model based on productivity and invention and the nuclear family unit, with one based on abitrary and ever changing rules where the only constant is the never ending attack on all that was considered good & wholesome before.

We have had thousands of years of human history now, and there have been many prophets, gurus and seers along the way who have taken a really, really good stab at whomping up a framework for how humans should live, and the routes to self destructions and mayhem are clearly signposted now, yet thus of us who sin, (or violate those common sense precepts in some way, if you prefer) still loudly insist on or right to do it openly, and ignore the rights of others to not be exposed to our weakness.

We now take PRIDE in our violations of commonsense, time held traditions and morality.

I Sperg said:

Should kindergarten kids be shown how to twerk, weild a firearm  or pack a bong? Really? 

This is a really hyperbolic and unhelpful response, you really didn't need to say all that just to say you hate mainstream societal progress.

I'd ask Who this "their governments" are and for an actualy working example of how they  "smash up their previous societal model" but this is really off topic to the discussion about what helps people individually as autists. Making the jump from a respectful aknowledgement of religious difference affecting our personal upbringing  between me and IrishInManchester to inserting a political slant is just going to derail this thread and feels like it's done in bad faith.

You're welcome to DM me (my DMs are open) what you really think but out of respect for  JT  I'm not going to discuss this with you further on this thread.

I Sperg said:

thus of us who sin, (or violate those common sense precepts in some way, if you prefer) still loudly insist on or right to do it openly, and ignore the rights of others to not be exposed to our weakness.

We now take PRIDE in our violations of commonsense, time held traditions and morality

'Sin' is a religious concept - a transgression against divine law.

Therefore, it's a personal thing.

The same with 'common sense' precepts - I wonder if your common sense and mine are the same.

With regard to 'pride in our violations of commonsense, time held traditions and morality' I would be very interested to hear an explanation of what you mean.

I personally find posts like this elliptical so I can't grasp what essentially is being talked about - 'sin' ... 'commonsense' ...'morality' ...

Aren't these all relative?

? Which people (ie what groups, sectors of society) who 'violate' the 'common sense precepts' of others,  'loudly insist on the right to do it openly' .. ? 

Who are these people, what are they doing?

We all have a differing views of what is acceptable and what isn't, what's  right and wrong, what's natural or unnatural..

A little clarification of what/which groups of society you are really talking about would be helpful.

Drugs. It's gotta be.

Cannabis in particular.

It helps me take my time before reacting, makes me more considerate of wider issues and dulls the pain. 

I was always struck by the expression "Give me the child and I will show you the man". 

Children are essentially trainable and malleable up to a certain age, when they start moving towards being capable of making their own decisions.

"Parenting, is simply too important to be left to the likes of you and me", is how some people interpreted that, so we got schools, in order to train our children to take their place in society.

The problem with that approach is that "education" was hijacked to instead of producing rounded individuals to produce COMPLIANT individuals, incapable of effectively resisting authority, or standing up for themselves.

When their governments then decided to smash up their previous societal model based on productivity and invention and the nuclear family unit, with one based on abitrary and ever changing rules where the only constant is the never ending attack on all that was considered good & wholesome before.

We have had thousands of years of human history now, and there have been many prophets, gurus and seers along the way who have taken a really, really good stab at whomping up a framework for how humans should live, and the routes to self destructions and mayhem are clearly signposted now, yet thus of us who sin, (or violate those common sense precepts in some way, if you prefer) still loudly insist on or right to do it openly, and ignore the rights of others to not be exposed to our weakness.

We now take PRIDE in our violations of commonsense, time held traditions and morality.

Some of us will see this as a thinly veiled attack on their special interests community, when it genuinely isn't. I am making a plea that those of us who live at the edge of the bellcurve accept our position and don't feel we have the right to indoctrinate children into our niche view of the world.

I walked the walk. In variance to all the other pot smoking parents I know, (especially those who so virtuously turned their back on the stuff) my kid doesn't take drugs.

Should kindergarten kids be shown how to twerk, weild a firearm  or pack a bong? Really? 

For me, it's a saviour- it allows me to stay in contact with others even when I can't socialise in person, and without the internet I never would have realised I was autistic at all. I don't necessarily think that's the case for everyone though- for example, I can see how the expectation to be constantly available due to social media etc might be overwhelming and stressful to many.

It's an interesting observation.

But I still feel a controlled exposure at age appropriate intervals to various internet phenomenon is the way to go tbh, you can't just open the flood gates at an arbirary age and expect young people to cope with the innevitable culture shock that will occur from being rapidly exposed to things they haven't beeen coached and prepared for. This is why sex education in schools has been key to reducing teen pregnancies and std transmission. Because it's not that all these things never happened before, the paradox of the internet just means we hear about it more, but it was always going on. Kids might have mental health issues as a result of the internet but that never stopped teens becoming mentally ill before the internet, I recall there was a school shooting not far from here in the late 80's, and the reason that was cited behind it was pyschological damage from isolation from peers. And I don't think keeping kids entirely away from activities their modern peers consider vital until they are adults to be good for either their sense of community wellbeing or social development with wider society.
I respect you are very religious, and probably the religion at least provides some form of community for the kids in it, but outside of certain religious groups with an active support network, for other faiths or even just atheists I don't see how it would work.

In one way I agree, especially during Covid, which living alone in Manchester, which I have done for 20 years, was the only way I could keep in touch with family and friends back home in Ireland during lockdowns - one of the first people I told about my autism diagnosis was my longtime family friends Sr. Brigid and Sr. Carmel of the Poor Clares in Dublin - as long as I’ve lived here in the U.K., I still regard Ireland as my home 

My teddy bears (I have 40 in my queen sized bed, including my best friend Paddington), my music with noise cancelling headphones, the most calming of which is sacred music in Latin from Monks and Nuns - being a devout traditional Irish Catholic, I never leave the house without my Rosary, as I’ll go out to a quiet park to pray and I have 10 pairs of Rosary Beads at home - I always have a picture of Our Lady of Lourdes to hand and I have a fridge magnet of Padre Pio, along with bottles of Holy Water everywhere - praying the Rosary in Latin and attending the Traditional Sunday Mass in Latin here in Manchester is also very important, as is my friendship with my late Dad’s former employers, the Poor Clare Nuns in Dublin, where I’ll always visit their monastery when I come home to Ireland 

I’d even be concerned about allowing any 16-18 year olds anywhere near the internet/mobile phones these days compared to how it was even in Y2K (the year 2000) as I’ve come to realise that a child is a child until they are 21 for everything - below that age, parents must educate themselves and thier children on the inherent dangers of science and tech “advances” as well as social media etc, as the changes brought about by Covid has taught us all about so many things - I’m also seeing a rise in parents choosing to homeschool thier children which I hear a lot about because of my 30 years previous experience in supermarket retailing - religion and tradition aside, the fact that children’s mental health is poorer than in my teens in the 1980’s is hugely concerning and I’ve come to realise that it’s because of these devices, which our grandparents were totally opposed to us kids having at all and they went to great lengths to put a stop to it during my teens in the 1980’s before they passed and it’s mind-blowing that so many of thier warnings and predictions have been consistently proven correct and accurate in our times 

There's an autism channel on our Roku....

I like the idea of toning down the noise on TV. I like to watch nature films if the background music is not loud. The adverts in between are the things that spoil relaxation as they are louder. Even BBC now has programme adverts.

Music is a big thing that helps me, every time I get anxious or in a low mood I pop in my headphones and listen away to music