The things that have helped you most?

 I wholy agree with your assessment which is why I too left employment years ago to work for myself. I recently had my own affirmative ASD diagnosis.  This affirmation answered many questions for me but wasn't received as a surprise. I also share Malojian's strong inner core built on many masks to deal with NT's

Not wishing to strike a sour chord but in my own past military experience, I was ordered to be trained to service nuclear weapons. Many may wonder how an autistic man can survive the military. Basic training was a trial and challenge. I came close to freaking out but managed to mask myself also through "a strong inner core" acquired since childhood. I survived a drill Sergeant shouting at the top of his voice into my ear. I came close to landing one on his chin!  The thought also passed my mind if I can survive that I can survive anything short of a nuclear hit. Which is currently topical in today's news with Russia's bombardment of the largest nuclear power station in Europe. God help us!

It appears that the internet is the only place where we can find any tips or advice on how to manage our condition as autistic adults, where the sources of practical help and support in real life are largely not available to us, even from government bodies like the NHS here in the U.K. - with all of the other scientific and technological advances in our world, this is doubly inexcusable where many of us are in desperate need of help and support and it was one reason why I was very reluctant to go for a later in life diagnosis in 2019 as suggested by family in Ireland at age 52 - despite talk otherwise by many, mental health and disability funding still remains the poor relation despite the fact that issues around mental health and disability are increasingly being discovered as a huge issue, as we saw during Covid - due to lack of any real post-diagnostic practical help and support, I’m having to consider quitting my current job and go back on benefits, despite awkward conversations with jobcentres and others after just over a year in my current job - I can’t even get hold of my social worker on on the phone or by email and I’m getting the impression that they regard my concerns around my condition as “irrelevant nonsense” - while treating autistic children early is important, too much focus and support/funding is being placed on childhood autism at the expense of autistic adults and this situation is unacceptable and it’s something that I’ve discovered when searching for sources of adult autistic support after my diagnosis 

Been loving reading these responses, just shows me how strong we all are and how adept at implementing coping mechanisms we have been.

Arguably, we shouldn't have to resort to these techniques, but unless anyone has a magic wond to change a NT built society on its head then I think sharing these achievements with each other is the best we can hope for.

I've been pleased to see mainstream media beginning to make more content with autism at its core so I live in hope that society will continue to consider us as it's expansion continues.

Well done all, you are the beautiful core I am proud to know

Still not weird Number. Don't label yourself, that's what society is for

Nice to hang out with you Number. Thanks to you i have a rubber duck staring at me every time i go to the loo which reminds me of this place. It's a reassuring duck

As Identity said on another thread this place is a haven and god have i needed it. Completely understand why folk take a break though especially if they've got other stuff that needs their attention. 

Glad you will be back though

That's really nice.  Thanks for sharing.  And so "on point" with the last bit ;

Jamie said:

i'm no longer trying to work out what is wrong with me but focusing on what is right and what i'm good at

Bang on brother, bang on.

I'm a bit older than you...I've had to drag myself and my world through bogs of unholy nonsense and cluster bangs over the last decade+ merely for me to just stagger over the "collapse line" and say "oh, thank God, I'm simply autistic."

The honeymoon is over for me now - it doesn't take too long to get over the fact that you are the same as you were before, but now you know why.  The very weird but real challenges still remain - right here and right now.  The world hasn't actually changed and nor have you.  Its just you know something important now.

I need to saddle up with my new life-changing knowledge and ride out afresh to both clear up the mess left behind "my old self" and forge a prosperous and happier path for "my new self."  Nothing will get done without me present and connected.

The challenge of my autism and co-morbidities make mounting a horse pretty flupping tricky these days........for instance ; the day in the life of Number today =

A confused perceptual happenstance occurred earlier today that is best described by the following images - the similarity of which I find interesting - not having ever consciously absorbed either;

This bizare happenstance / [AKA Number stupidity] has resulted in me listening to a Swede singing in both Icelandic and English language, lip-syned to a beautiful American.......with Will Ferrell playing on the piano and ocassionally yelling in the background......a song of 3 mins 29 sec length.....played on repeat for circa 5+ hours and counting.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't take it to the toilet with me nor impose it on communal eating....but all the other time - with simultaneously detailed work being achieved..........apart from all the time spent on here again today - I need to give this "time sink" a rest.

I don't have that luxury of time now and need to hunker down with some stuff.  Whilst I am autistic, my main downfall deficit is one of attention - especially at times of stress and ample distraction on here.

I'm going to unplug for a bit.  I will be back and I am grateful for the company from you Jamie, and the rest of our crewl.  I am so happy that a bunch of folk like us can hang like this.  Its so healthy.  Thank you.

I'm weird me.  I am Number.

Digestion, definitely; forums, definitely.

I think that what I would like is a new vulnerability-in-another to love, and I would also like to stay on top of my vulnerability going forward, I think the best thing is that my emotional balance sheet has been balanced. 

Childhood stuff feels like it’s been put to bed, I lamented for my child-self for 28 years, but now I feel like I have successfully sated that ghost.  
My past has been a weight on me, now I feel that I’ve taken account of it, even though I cannot go back. Closure has helped me most.

Taking myself back to my childhood (memories, place, music, tv etc)

Nature (

Meditation and yoga (can't underestimate the power of this)

Music

Appreciating the small things

Staying off the news and social media

Mushroom supplememts 

Taking time out when I need it

Acceptance 

Pets

Finding the lighter side of things to take the edge off getting bogged down

I travel on day trips.  Some of the places I see are so awful, that when I get home I feel grateful that I've only visited these hell holes and I don't have to live there.

Unknown said:

The main thing that has helped me the most, is knowing why I am different.

This is the same for me. I felt like i lived in utter confusion until last December. I couldn't make sense of my existence whatever i tried until my autism realization and whilst life is still a struggle, i'm coping much better now and i'm no longer trying to work out what is wrong with me but focusing on what is right and what i'm good at

The main thing that has helped me the most, is knowing why I am different.

Knowing, in the sense that, I already knew that my thoughts, behaviours and beliefs were very different to the vast majority of other humans around me......but I could not begin to understand why.  In order to cope with my autism, I had unknowingly developed some very peculiar behaviours and curated a life for myself that simply could not be made sense of - neither by myself, nor the others around me.  I was constantly pre-occupied (for about a decade) trying to understand that "why" question.

Now that I know why I am different, I am calm - in a way that I have never experienced before.  Its pretty zen.

So sorry if this answer may not be useful to others - but it is my honest response to the question posed.

Reading, especially history books. I am currently reading a history of Latin America and am facinated by the chapter on Hugo Chavez and Venezuela

Being out in nature, especially feeding the ducks, geese and swans. I always say I dont need many friends because they are my friends

Going to my local zoo every week and seeing all my animals, especially hippos. I find rhinos very calming too.

Football and the history of football in different countries

Cricket

My music, especially German pop

Anything German

Cooking 

Watching TV quizzes with a glass of wine and some nice cheese

Writing stories 

Praying and talking to God 

Oakling said:

Learning to say no to others, in order to preserve energy in times of need, is a really important skill.

Im just starting to be able to do this 

Oakling said:

Alone time. This is a chance for me to stim, explore hobbies and explore my special interests. This time is important and purely for me.

i dont get enough of that 

Doctor Who.

It heals me like a real Doctor but without all the anxiety and stress

Just a quick comment on this.. lifting weights, has been my saviour. Benefits come from the long term, starting slowly, and just gradually progressing. You don't need to do much, or often to see benefits, and to begin with you will likely gain strength from very little (a few sets a week over the course of a few months). 

There isn't much as addictive as realising you are twice as strong as you once were. Nobody can stop you, it's all up to you, and many of us I believe are built for it.

Check youtube for basic stuff tho, and ease into it very very slowly!

Music. 

My Artist friend. 

Brentford FC/Arsenal FC.

Prayer. 

Paracetamol. 

The Empire says so. 

You can pick second hand weights up quite easily for a reduced price, but also, there are lots of really reputable online retailers that are fantastic. I’ve built a home gym this way, as I really didn’t get on with a public gym. But also, motivation takes time. I’m learning to not be hard on myself if I miss a day. It’s a lifelong process after all.

Writing is newer to me, but I’m finding I’m doing it more often now. Much nicer than hitting myself!