Clothing

Hi everyone,

Do you have a sense of style and clear expression of your identity and tastes in your clothing? I really struggle to form a clear style and I end up feeling scruffy instead of purposefully put together. I've been looking at capsule wardrobes to see if I can fix this and find a bit of fashion sense. Curious if anyone else struggles with this? It doesn't help that I have to go into shops and feel everything, try the fit etc and can't just shop online like a lot of people do these days. 

This has stemmed from me wanting to make a good impression in my new job, which has a bit more of a formal dress code than my last one.

  • I was so happy to come across this topic. I have just in the last couple of days decided to get rid of all the bright coloured clothing I have purchased in an attempt to fit in. I am only comfortable wearing black or grey, navy blue if I'm feeling bold! I am just starting to appreciate that I am autistic and I can wear whatever I feel comfortable with. It's such a relief. I hate tight clothes too. Baggy black tops are bliss. I am a better person when I'm comfortable.

  • Me too! It's not as much of a sensory thing for me though, I just like it. That's probably not a huge revelation given my profile pic and username but black everything saves a lot of time and effort!

  • I wear only black clothes. Black isn't bright, it doesn't mess with my eyes and it's not too hot or too cold. It just is. I've worn only black most of my life since I was able to choose my own clothes.

  • I don't really think about what I'm about to wear. I'd love to be a classy woman, wear really elegant stuff but choosing and making decisions are things I struggle with big time so I tend to wear jumpers, jeans and boots or trainers.

    I go for simple not flashy clothes so I don't get noticed as well. It seems to work for me. I'd love to wear more exciting and nice clothes but it makes me uncomfortable and triggers my anxiety so it's not worth it for me.

  • Sorry for bumping the thread, but I wanted to drop in and say that finding a style that truly resonates with you can be quite the journey. Capsule wardrobes are a great idea – they simplify things a lot! I'm all about comfort and versatility too when it comes to clothing. I've also never been one to have a super-defined style – I tend to lean more towards casual vibes. It's all about feeling good while looking stylish.  Speaking of which, I recently stumbled upon this awesome online store Sedley.com. They have a fantastic collection of quality and stylish clothes that tick all my boxes for comfort and versatility. It's been a game-changer for my everyday look. Maybe you'll find something there that clicks with your vibe too!

  • I’m late to this but just wanted to say how much I love historical clothing and hand sewing and repairing clothing. How did your project go? What have you been making? I think it’s a great idea to do this. I only wear cotton clothing too by the way. 

  • Ha ha!  Probably a bit too much irony for this forum, but very much based on truths which some men hold close to their hearts!!!!

  • I enjoyed reading this. I could picture the exact type of man that you are describing! 

  • If you have to be very 'corporate' this was my guide (written in 2012 but probably still fairly valid) for formal 'corporate battle dress'.  It was just 'safe' for me to have a guide to stick to, rather than trust my judgement.  This assumes some element of tailoring (not necessarily made-to-measure but at least finished-to-fit by the tailor).  Hope it helps someone.   

    Dark blue, grey or dark grey. NEVER Royal Blue (for some reason that's boy-racer/chav). 

    Plain block colour, not patterned, pin stripe or check.

    Pure wool and pretty much no other material other than crease-proof cotton for lightweight summer suits.  

    Two front buttons, not three (clown suits have three, apparently).  

    Slit sleeves (not mock slits) with four buttons on the sleeve (three indicates a cheap suit).  

    Single or double rear vents, but deep ones (again, short vents indicate cheap suits).  

    Never have a brightly coloured silk lining (chavs do that); always subdued.  

    Straight cut trousers (NEVER drain-pipes), should sit on the shoes with a single, light, barely-there fold at the bottom/front of the shoe.  Well-tailored around the backside and not baggy in the thighs. The trousers should be cut slightly longer at the back of the foot than the front so they sit a few millimetres lower at the heel.  

    No turn-ups. Trousers which crease at the crutch or knees are badly tailored.

    No waistcoat / vest.

    Never wear braces, always a leather belt, made from a single piece of leather (not strips of leather stitched together with card in the middle). 

    Ask the tailor to discretely sew-up the side pockets to make sure you never put anything in them (ruins the hang of a suit).  

    Shirt - light blue or white.  Never, ever, patterned.  For a couple of decades pink was considered racy but acceptable; you still see it, but it's too risque to be safe.   Crisp stand-up collar with slide-out collar stays (use metal ones, not plastic).  Double cuffs and cuff links. No breast pocket. Tailored shirts are always better unless you have a fuller figure. Don't do anything vulgar like have a button-down(!); button-downs are OK for weekends, but not for the office.   

    Silk tie; can be coloured but not too bright.  Never wear a hanky in the breast pocket.  

    Socks - black or blue, to match the suit; coloured socks are fine if you're confident and know what you're doing (I wouldn’t go there).  

    Shoes can be traditional Brogues, Oxfords or Chelsea boots.  They must be black, and leather, with leather soles.  Traditional slip-on Moccasins with tassels are fine but they mustn't have pointed toes or patterns – very traditional Moccasin styling. 

    Overcoat - wool, single breast or a mac.  Brands are (for some reason) OK on coats, if you can run to the outrageous cost of something like a Burbery (around £2.5K).  A formal silk scarf and black soft leather gloves with no pattern, or (worse) bits of protruding fur around the wrist etc.

    Obviously, I wrote this partly with my tongue firmly in my cheek.  It's all completely stupid, and shallow, and it's an impenetrable code for the un-initiated. It’s a uniform, and it's ludicrously expensive. 

    However, despite all that, for some jobs, in very formal environments, this guide will help you blend in, if that's what you want. 

    If you blend in, it’s like wearing tribal war paint, or a uniform – you’re signalling that you ‘belong’.  People are more likely to focus on what you say and do, rather than be distracted by what you're wearing (because what you're wearing seems discordant to them, and signals that you aren't part of the tribe). 

    If you understand the dress code and you’re confident then you can safely stretch the boundaries, and get away with it, but I never did and always stuck to the guide. 

    I took early retirement from all that garbage and for the last decade have barely worn a suit, but I’m told this hasn’t actually changed much. 

  • I need to do this, especially for work. 

  • At work, I learned to have very few clothes but of high quality.  I stuck to either major brands or a local high quality tailor, and I learned to identify 'classic'.  At home, I stick to classics but bulk buy.  I never buy one pair of jeans; if I'm confident it's a brand I know I buy three.  Ditto trainers, shirts etc.  That works.  

  • I have a system! I was forced to work this out as I lived in LA for some time and individuals get hired according to their wardrobe 'choices'. This took me a little time to learn and thankfully I've worked on enough film sets to inquire with wardrobe departments. 

    1. You need to assess what styles/colours you like (and suit) and there are a few ways to do this. A woman I knew who worked in wardrobe/fashion bought magazines, cut out the styles and colour palettes she liked and sticky taped them to a section of the wall. You could also peel through fashion books at the library from over the last 100 years and work out what you're simply attracted to, take photos. Once you have set perimeters for a style and colour palette, begin to focus on locating who's making these or spend time in charity shops if you don't mind wearing 2nd hand. 

    2. This takes a little time, but it's a good investment. Also one must commit, things tend to go wrong when I see something that's just gorgeous but won't go with anything I own. I can't afford to build an alternate wardrobe and also, humans judge us on appearance, so I'm quite specific & just appreciate interesting things like I would a painting at a gallery.

    3. An alternate solution and one I have gone with for a few different 5-10 years of my life is to locate a shop I like (which suits the parameters) and only buy their line. This works with independent shops and takes a few adventures or following individuals on Instagram. This is also excellent for added items like socks. I've found one organic company I like who stocks socks I like and only buy from them.

    At one point in my life I realised I only needed a few shoes. Works perfect with a restricted wardrobe set in stone.  A pair of black docs, a comfortable pair of lower (and no one else has them) heels (maybe another - but never buy basic), nude-pink sandals, interesting trainers & aubergine wellies.

    In High School I desperately wished I could go to a school with uniforms. I could never work out how to put clothes together in the morning and my mother wouldn't let me wear just black. Still a wee bit bitter about that LOL

  • Oh, and Vans trainers also! Can't seem to buy anything other than these. They just do such mad designs, love it

  • I like to buy clothes based on colour and fabric mostly though. Bamboo is the softest material, so all my crazy colour socks are bamboo. Cotton t-shirts. Cord trousers. Sheep skin lined boots. All feels good, so I feel good. Don't give a monkeys what people think tbh. They all look stale to me

  • I think this is where a tendency to mimicing others can come in handy. See someone you like the look of? Borrow ideas from what they where, shop where they shop, same brands etc. Pretty sure that's how most NT figure out 'style'.

    Personally, I prefer to where what I like. People just think I'm an 'out there' artist. But I like to wear comic book pyjamas (I'm nearly 40), tie dye hoodies, leather jackets, and motorsport clothing covering in sponsorship (my special interest has always been Motorcross racing).

    Probably sounds ok, until you turn up at a wedding in it Slight smile

  • Daily grind for me unfortunately involves a uniform. I'm starting simple with a 1930s apron. Washing dishes is a bit of a messy business, it's also a bit like physiotherapy for me as it's been so long and difficult getting to this point. I've also got me eye on a waistcoat from the 1600s which looks like it would go well with my existing clothes.

  • I've always had this problem with my clothes I've kind found a way to get around it I tend to just wear the same clothes in different colours 99% of the time I just wear tracksuits or jeans with neutral colour hoodies or jumpers and that's it with plain black, grey or white trainers. I've always asked my mum and my cousins what they think good outfits are as well because they have got good fashion sense.

    Any time I I have to wear something formal I will google formal outfits for men and copy the first one I see if I have the same colours, I'm pretty sure this is something a lot of ASD people have trouble with like Plastic said probably because we just don't think about our external appearance to the world as much as NT people do just not something our brains think about.

  • I'm no help at all. I work with children so I'm in leggings and t-shirt style tops that have either long or short sleeves. I love light up trainers or sparkly trainers. Have to wear socks rolled down. And everything has to be colour matching. 

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